Losing it All
by grace2020
Summary: There was a time when Matt Casey was completely lost, but Gabby saved him from his guilt and grief. After leaving Chicago for some time, Matt is back and better then ever and he is willing to fight for what he wants. Takes place after season one.
1. Chapter 1

I know I said that I wanted to finish Obstacles before I published this story, but I couldn't wait any longer! So I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter One

Gabby POV

I parked my car in front of the building I know so well. As I pull the keys from the ignition and open the door my breath manages to get caught in my throat. A stillness takes over my body and I begin to think this was a bad idea.

"You need to do this," I tell myself over and over again as I close my car door and begin to walk closer to his apartment. I play the conversation in my mind a hundred times and a hundred different ways, what I'm going to say to him, his reaction when I finally tell him how I feel. I continue to climb the steps to his front door that is when I notice all the newspapers piled on his stoup. Worry courses through my blood now as I reach for the door.

I quietly knock and call out Matt's name, but the door slowly falls open to my movements. I timidly cross the threshold and call for Matt again. Uncertainty plagues my voice. As I step further in, Matt's back is to me and he is seated at the table. The house is quite, but Matt jumps out of his seat and focuses on me. By the look on his face and the condition of his messy living room, he is broken.

"Nothing makes sense," he replies lost in his own words and a distant look on his face.

I slowly move to his direction. Once I reach him, I pull him into me trying my best to comfort him. Our bodies connect and I feel him begin to shake and I feel wetness on my shoulder. Tears begin to form in my own eyes as I hold the strongest person I know. We don't say anything, just stand in his apartment, each one of us grieving for different reasons. Matt grieving for the lost of Hallie and I am grieving for the man in front of me.

Matt POV

I have tried to keep my pain to myself, I have tried to put on this brave face and not show how I'm dying inside. Seeing Gabby standing here in my hell, made me realize I'm not doing well on my own. I'm not living anymore, just going through the motions of each day. As I shift, I fell her arms around me tighten, causing me to break. I can't hold it inside anymore, I can't hide anymore. For the first time since the hospital, I cry for her and everything Hallie and I once shared.

Gabby POV

I don't know how long we stood in silence, but Matt was the first one to pierce the air.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled pulling himself back.

"For what?" I ask unsure of why he would apologize.

"I'm a mess," he stated as he pointed around the room. "You shouldn't have to see me like this."

"Matt, we are friends, really great friends and I don't care what type of mess you are. I'm going to be here for you," I said as I looked directly into his blue eyes. I wanted to make sure he knew I was here for him, no matter what, no matter what he needed.

He didn't say anything; he just nodded his head and looked around the room. I could tell having me here with the condition of the apartment embarrassed him. I didn't want to leave him alone, but I wanted to give him dignity and pride.

"When was the last time you had a home cooked meal?"

Matt tilted his head toward the empty pizza boxes on the couch, "not in a while," he replied.

"Well if you would like, I can run to the store and grab something to make dinner," I suggest in hopes that I can help him.

"Gabby, I don't need a babysitter," he spoke softly somewhat turning away from me.

"I know, but I'm going to be fixing dinner for myself anyways."

"I'll get cleaned up," Matt simply stated.

"Is there anything special you want me to pick up?"

"Whatever you want is fine," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

I nodded my head, "I should be back in an hour or so." I waited a moment but Matt did not reply. I turn around and walked back to my car. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I feel the tears run down my face, the tears I had been holding back since the moment I saw Matt. I cried for him and Hallie, I cried for the pain he is feeling over her death, but I also cry for knowing the feelings I have for Matt will never be returned.

Matt POV

I didn't mean to let myself go but like I told Gabby, nothing makes sense. When I'm at work, I'm able to only think about the job, but when I'm alone everything just stops and my mind goes straight to the fact that Hallie is dead and I couldn't save her. My chest tightens as I think about the fact she will no longer walk through the door or laugh at one my stupid jokes.

I look around my apartment and take a deep breath, I really have done a number, I tell myself as I begin to collect empty beer bottles.

About a half hour later, my living room and dinning room are clean, back to their normal state. I run my hands over my face and decide to jump in the shower before Gabby gets back.

Gabby POV

I grab the brown bags out of the backseat of my car and move up the steps to Matt's apartment. I slowly open the door not wanting to startle Matt. I step into the living room quietly calling out his name, but I hear nothing in response, my heart begins to race as I look around the open room and move further in. As I walk past the closed bathroom door, I notice that the running is running. I let out the breath I didn't even realize I had been holding.

I decide not to interrupt him, so I headed straight into the kitchen with the bag of food and began to stack the fridge with the extra things I bought for him. I knew if I would have asked Matt if he wanted me to grab him anything else, he would have just said no, but after seeing the condition of his apartment I figured that there wouldn't be much food in his fridge and my assumptions were correct.

I heard the bathroom door open as I poured the cooked pasta into the strainer and heard him his steps moving closer to the kitchen.

"What are you making?" He asked standing from the doorway.

I looked over at him, he was wearing a CFD t-shirt and pair of jeans, "Chicken mac and cheese," I say as I turn my attention back to the food.

"Is this the famous Grandma Dawson's recipe I hear so much about?"

I smile as I pour the cooled pasta back into a pot, "Yeah, she taught me how to make it when I was twelve and somehow it always makes me feel better." I bit my lip as soon as the words left my mouth, I could feel my cheeks begin to redden from my embarrassment.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked looking around.

"Sure, those peppers need to be cut up," I said as I nodded my head in the direction of the cutting board on the counter.

Matt didn't say anything as he walked over and grabbed the knife. I watched a moment as he held the pepper on its side and began to cut into it. I turned my attention back to flipping the chicken in the pan, but my mind never left Matt. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had seen early today, it sprang tears to my eyes.

Matt POV

The meal Gabby cooked smelled amazing and from the few bites I did eat it tasted amazing. My appetite hasn't been real present that last few days. I look over at Gabby as she begins to clear the table.

"Thank you," I say as she reaches for the dish in the middle of the table.

"Oh you're welcome," she replies moving into the kitchen.

I grab my own plate and follow her; she is standing at the sink washing off her used dish.

"I can clean this up, you don't have to," I tell her as I stand next to her at the sink. I know she is trying to be a good friend, but these are things that I can do myself.

"It's a habit," she smiles as she sets on the dish off to the side of the sink. Gabby then glances over at the clock on the wall, "I should probably get going," she says as she dries her hands.

"Or you could stay," I say surprising myself and her. In all honestly it was nice not being alone with my thoughts and guilt. It was nice just being here with someone even if we didn't really talk. "We could watch a movie," I suggest.

"Okay," Gabby says with a nod of her head.

I pick a movie out from a stack and place it into the DVD player, and then I take the empty seat on the couch next to Gabby. We both sit in silence as the movie starts, I try to concentrate on the plot and the characters, but my eyes are growing heavy. Before I could realize what was happening my body went slack and my breathing slowed.

Gabby POV

As the plot of the story was gaining more intensity, I looked over at Matt to find him a sleep on the couch. I quickly looked around the living room in search of something to place over him and find a small blanket draped over the back of the chair in the corner of the living room. I quietly get up and grab the blanket and then place it over Matt's sleeping form. I then move to the TV to turn it off, so that Matt can sleep with out interruption. I then grab my jacket and purse, trying my best to make a graceful exist, but as I make my way to the door, Matt starts screaming "Hallie," he calls her name over and over again. I rush to him and begin to shake his tense body; tears are streaming down his face.

"Matt," I cry out trying to bring him back to me.

Author's Note: So this is my new story, what do you guys think? I feel that it is important to start from this point, because it really shows how great their friendship really is, but after this chapter and the next you will see how this story will be stand out on its own feet. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gabby POV

We both sit on the couch side by side, neither one of us daring to say anything, just staring into the space in front of us. I can tell Matt doesn't know what to say, I can feel his embarrassment as he searches for his words to describe what just happened.

I decided that I need to be the one to break the silence, "how long as this been going on?" I ask knowing that I may be over stepping my line.

Matt stayed quite for a moment longer as he drew in his breath, "Since the night of her death." I thought he was going to stop there, but to my surprise he continued. "Ever time I close my eyes, I am reminded of the fact that I didn't get there fast enough, that I didn't save her." Tears began to well up in his eyes as he looked over at me, "I failed her Gabby, I told her that I would always protect her and I couldn't."

I instantly wrap my arm around Matt's shoulder and pull him into my body, "I know nothing I say right now is going to change how you feel, but you didn't fail her Matt. You did everything you could to bring her back. Sometimes it just isn't enough." I feel his body shake as I continue my best to hold him. Silence fills the room again as Matt body holds stills and I can hear his heavy breathing. I slowly move so that I don't wake him, but I place his body in the most comfortable position I can.

I know that if I stay the morning would be full of awkwardness, so I decide to gather my things and leave now. As I step towards to door, I look back at Matt's sleeping form on the couch. "I'm sorry," I whisper knowing that he can't hear me. I take a deep breath in and walk quietly out the door.

The drive home was easy with little to none traffic because of the early morning hours, but my mind couldn't stay quite like the streets tonight. So many thoughts ran wild in mind and most of them circled around Matthew Casey. I was worried about him and with the fact that he blamed himself for what happened to Hallie. I knew that if something didn't change his guilt would get the best of him.

Matt POV

The morning light poured through the front windows of the living room, but it didn't have the opportunity to wake me, I was already up before the light even reached the day. I lay as still as possible on the soft couch as I think about what Gabby said to me last night. May be she was right that sometimes is just isn't enough. I close my eyes a moment as I picture Hallie's body lying on the ground, but before I replay the scene in my head, my alarm clock sounded off in the background.

I sighed as my feet touched the hardwood ground and slowly walked into the bedroom to turn off the annoying sound. I was thankful for the shifts I had, it helped to take my mind off of Hallie and everything I lost that day.

Gabby POV 

When I arrived at the station, I noticed that Matt's truck was not in its normal spot, it was very unlike him to be late to work. I try my best to not over think it as I walk up the drive way and into the garage. I say good morning to all the guys as I make my way into the locker room. I quickly change out and put my gear away.

"Morning," I hear a voice say behind me, I turn around to see Matt standing in front of hi locker.

"Morning," I say back wondering if I should say anything else, but I don't. I close my locker and begin to walk out.

"Gabby," Matt's voice calls out again, forcing me to turn around. "I want to say thank you for everything you did last night, I know what it must have looked like and I'm sorry…"

Before Matt could continue I quickly cut him off, "No worries," I said with a smile. "That's what friends are for." Matt gave a small smile and nod of his head.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but the alarms sounded off calling us to work. We both rushed out of the room and towards our waiting vehicles. I looked over at Matt before I climbed in, I could see that from the outside that he looked and acted normal, but there was just something that didn't feel right. I swallowed my concern, I had to focus on the accident that we were able to go to, my head had to be in the right place.

Matt POV

We arrived on scene, each one of assessing the damage of the vehicles involved. A truck flipped completely over caught my attention first; I could hear a woman's screams of help as we came to a stop. "We'll take the truck," I called out to Severide as I run over as fast as I can. As I approached the flipped truck, I could see a woman dangling from her seat; her head was about six inches off of the ground and her hands were still placed on the steering wheel. She continued to cry for help as she looked at me. I can see the panic and fear in her eyes, "please help," she called out again.

"I'm coming," I shout as I run over to her. Once I reached the driver side door, I drop to floor to crawl into the truck. "I'm Matt. What's your name?"

"Emily," she says with fear still in her voice.

"Emily, I'm going to help get you out of here, but I need to know can you move your arm?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think so," She says.

"Okay," that's good I tell her hoping that she can't hear anything else in my voice by encouragement. I quickly grab by walkie-talkie, "Dawson," I call in as I hold down the button.

"Go for Dawson," I hear her say.

"I've got a victim trapped by a seat belt. I'm going to release her from the restraints, but we're going to ambulance on stand by."

"Copy that," Dawson replies.

I turn my attention back to Emily, "Alright, on the count of three, I'm going to need you to release the seatbelt, I'm going to slowly help you to the ground and we are going to crawl out of here together."

"Okay," she replies.

I begin to count to three, I am ready to catch her and help her to the ground. Once I reach three, I hear the seatbelt unclick and I can feel all of her weight in my arms. I slowly bring her to the ground. "Go ahead and make your way towards the window," I tell her as I guide her body further down.

"We got her," Herrmann Calls out as I feel her body being pulled through the window. I can hear Gabby instructing Shay to place the neck brace on Emily as I crawl out with the help of Otis and Hermann.

I thank them and quickly get to my feet, my eyes watching Shay and Gabby work on Emily. Gabby is asking her questions, which Emily is responding to, but in mid-sentence, I watch Emily pass out on the gurney.

"Emily," Gabby calls out but the young woman does not respond, She quickly checks her pulse, "She is has a pulse, but we need to get her to Lakeshore right now," Gabby yells as they begin to rush the gurney over to the ambulance, the guys help load Emily in and within seconds the ambulance speeds away.

Gabby POV

I close the back of the ambulance after rushing Emily into the hospital, I could tell by the look in the doctor's eyes that the young girl didn't even stand a fighting chance. The internal bleeding was just too much for anyone to stop in the field, I reminded myself as I climbed into the passenger side of the ambulance.

"You alright?" Shay asked looking over at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say doing my best to throw her off my track.

"You just seem really quite today."

"I didn't sleep well last night," I tell her hoping that she will just drop it. I really don't want to tell her about how I went over to Casey's last night to confess my feelings only to find him that he is completely lost and broken. Just the thought of seeing him like that broke my heart all over again.

"Well I was thinking that we could go out tomorrow night," she said looking over at me with a smirk.

"What you are really saying, is that you need my help with something."

"Alright, I meant this girl named Jane a few weeks ago and I really like her."

"So what does that have to do with me?" I ask deeply confused.

"Well Jane has an older brother that just moved back from Washington D.C. and he was wondering if I had any single friends, so I told him about you."

"Shay why did you do that? I have told you a million times I don't need to be set up with anyone."

"Think of it as a favor to me," She says glancing back over at me as she pulls into the station. "Please just do it, I promise that if it doesn't work out I will do inventory for the next month without complaints," she pleads as she puts the truck into park.

"Alright, I'll do it but I'm holding you up to your end of the deal."

I shake my head at Shay's excitement as we make our way into the building. Once we move into the common room, I look around to find Matt, but he is no where to be seen. I instantly feel worry take over my body, "Hey Shay, will you save me a plate, I'll be right back," I call out turning around and walking down the hall.

Matt POV

I sit at my desk, staring at the picture of Hallie, I can't help but think of how things might be different if she was still here. I hear a light knock on my office door; I set the picture down and turn around to see Gabby standing there. I motion for her to come in.

"How is Emily?" I ask, but then I see the expression change on her face. I have seen that look too many times to know that it can't mean anything good. I close my eyes as I turn away from her.

"The doctors said there was too much internal bleeding," Gabby quietly states.

"It's never enough," I quietly say still not looking at Gabby. "What I never do is never enough."

"Matt, you did the best you could. You know that and I know that, but right now you just can't see it."

I stand up and face Gabby, "I'm tried of not making a god damn difference, I couldn't save her, and I couldn't save Hallie. What the hell am I doing here," I shout with anger in my voice. I know as soon as the words left my mouth that I shouldn't be yelling at Gabby. I am too embarrassed to meet her eye. "I'm sorry," I say in a much calmer voice.

"Matt," she said as she reached her hand out and touched my shoulder. "I think that you need to take some time off. Go somewhere to clear your head or go talk to someone, you have dealing with so much."

"Where am I going to go?" I ask. "Everything reminds me of her."

Gabby was quite for a moment and looked around the room, but then her eyes lit up, "when my dad had a rough time, he said there was nothing like getting back to the simple things in life. He would go to this remote cabin off of Lake Carroll by himself and just fish; he said it was better than therapy. If you want, I could call and make the reservations for you?"

"I'll think about it," I tell her.

"Okay," she said as she turned around and reached for the door "Matt," she says before leaving, "you make a difference," and with that she left my office.

The rest of shift I thought about what Gabby said may be she was right I needed to get away from everything. I knocked on the chief's door, through the glass and I could see him motion for me to come in.

"What can I do for you Casey?" he asked leaning on his desk.

I decided that I was tried of hiding everything; I was just going to lay all of my cards on the table, "Chief I need some time off to work out a few things, to get some perspective."

"Take as much time as you need, the job will be waiting for you when you get back." He said as he shook my hand. I think part of him knew that I was falling a part; he knew that this moment was going to happen soon.

Gabby POV

"I can't believe that I agreed to go along with what Shay had suggested", I said as I rolled my eyes looking at myself in the mirror. As I reached for my necklace, I heard my doorbell ring, I quickly rushed to the front door to find Matt standing on the other side.

"Wow," he said looking me over, "you look great."

"Thanks," I reply with heat coming from my face. "I'm meeting friends for a drink tonight," I say.

"Oh, then I don't want to keep you long," Matt said. "I wanted to let you know that I took you up on your suggestion and I'm going to take some time off to find the simple things in life again."

"How long?" I asked.

"I have saved up some vacation time and worked it out with the chief, so it will be a while," he answered looking down at his feet. "About two months."

"Wow" I say somewhat surprised.

"Look I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did. You are such a great friend Gabriela Dawson and there is no way I could have gotten this far without you." He pulls me into a hug, I can feel my body relax against his and part of me wants to pull him back and never let go.

"Goodbye," he says as he steps back.

"Bye," I call out as I watch him leave. I wait for him to be completely out of my sight, before I close my door. Once I am alone, I slowly close the door, instantly tears spring to my eyes.

Author's note: So what do you think? Please let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Thank you for all the wonderful feedback, it's great to know that you are enjoying this story (so far) and that you all want more! I hope after reading this chapter you will continue to read and please keep in mind, I am a totally Dawson and Casey fan. Thanks again!

Two Month Later

Gabby POV

"I don't want to go to work," I said out loud as I snuggled further into Evan's warm body.

"Then don't," he replied as he kissed the top of my head. "I could lie in bed with you all day," he added as his lips continued down to my ear. I love waking up in morning with him like this; it is the best part of my day.

"Don't temp me," I reply with a moan. I slowly move out of his embrace and place both of my feet on the hardwood floor. "You should probably get ready for work too," I say as I stretch my arms over my head and then turn to face him.

"Yeah, I know," he said with a smile. Every time he smiles at me like that, I somehow get lost in the moment; I quickly leaned across the bed and kissed his full lips. I could the passion begin to build as his arm snaked behind my back drawing me into him. A moan escapes my mouth as he settles me over his lap and his lips begin to move down my jaw line.

"I really have to get ready for work," I say as I close my eyes, but his touch feels too good to actually stop.

"You can be a little late," he mumbles against my skin. I can barley answer him as he continues to roam his hands over my body; I simply nod my head in agreement falling back into bed.

"Damn it," I say out loud as I check my watch for the third time since leaving my apartment. I hurry across the driveway into the fire station, hoping no one realizes that I am ten minutes late. I try to keep my head down as I move through the garage, but I stop in my place when I hear someone call my name.

"Dawson, did your car break down or something?" Shay asks as she catches up to me with a coffee in her hand.

"Something like that," I say with a smirk and a roll of my eyes.

"Or is it because of that hot doctor you have your bed these days?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A lady never tells," I reply knowing that if I don't give her the details it would bother her more.

"Oh come on, you are the furthest thing from a lady!" She calls out loud enough to draw attention to us.

All the eyes in the house are on us now, I grab her arm and drag her into the locker room with me, "you are so fricking loud," I say as I release her arm and turn to my locker.

"Sorry, but I need all the details."

"Everything is going great, it really is. He makes me in creditably happy, but I feel like this is too good to be true."

"Aww, Dawson you are just over thinking things. I know that you had feelings for Casey before, but I have never seen you this happy before. I'm so excited for you and you know this is all because I introduced you to him."

I give Shay a look of confusion, "no the guy you set me up with was a guy who didn't know what personal space meant and I swear he kept trying to smell me."

"Yeah, but if I wouldn't have set you up with that guy, then you would have never meant Evan."

"I meant Evan, because I had to go back to the bar where I left my keys because I trying to get away from what's his face," I say trying to understand her logic.

"See, you now understand what I'm trying to say," Shay teased with a smile. "I'm going to go and see what is for breakfast; I'll see ya out there."

I nodded my head as I took out my work clothes from my bag. I quickly changed and placed my bag in my open locker and closed the door. I began my short walk out of the locker room, but as I past Casey's locker, I couldn't help but glance over at it. It was weird not having him here for the last couple of months; it felt like a huge part of the house was gone. Everyone did their best to try to understand, but there was this hole in every one of us.

After Matt left, my heart felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces, but over time the pain became less and less. I think a large part of that was because of Evan. He saw something broken in me and knew that he could fix and he did, most of it. I smile at the thought of him, but I am brought back into reality by the sound of slamming their locker shut. I quickly pull myself out of my thoughts and move on from Casey's locker, in away I'm moving on from Casey.

I take the empty seat next to Herrmann at the long table with my bowl of cereal. "I was thinking that we could something new at Molly's," he says looking down at his cell phone.

I roll my eyes before I speak, "What do you have in mind?" I ask almost cautiously.

"I don't know, but I think…" before he could continue Chief Boden walked into the common room.

"I have a real quick announcement," he said as he stepped into the middle of the room. "Lieutenant Casey will be back next shift; I know that we are glad to have him back and that everyone will be excited to see him. With that being said, I want to thank Lieutenant Waldon for filling in, he has done a great job and he will be missed."

"Thank you Chief," Waldon said across the room.

"Alright that is all. Everyone be safe out there."

I knew that he would be coming back soon, but somehow I was still surprised. I looked over at Shay, who was staring directly at me, I could tell that she was trying to read my face, but I just simply smiled at her. I was happy with Evan and nothing was going to change that.

Matt POV

I felt strange standing in my own apartment for the first time since I left. It was like reliving my past as I looked around the living room, trying to remember who I was not that long ago. Getting out of town was the best thing I could have done for myself and I have Gabby to thank for that.

During my time away, I thought about her a lot. She was the one person that was there for me when I needed her the most and I hated how I just left her standing there. I wanted to call her a thousand times, but I didn't know what to say. Part of me just wanted to hear her voice for comfort, but the other knew that I had to deal with this on my own.

I was finally able to feel at peace with Hallie's death, I knew that I would always miss her, but now I see that there was nothing I could have done differently. Once I realized this, I was able to sleep; I was able to break free from the guilt that I had harbored the moment she left this world. I knew that I was ready to come back to Chicago, home, and to the firehouse.

On my last day at the lake I called the Chief and told him that I would be back the next shift. I could tell from the sound of his voice he was smiling through the phone. I thanked him for everything and informed him that I was okay. It was the first time in a long time I said those words and actually believed it, I was going to be okay.

I took my cell phone out of my pocket; it was time to see everyone.

Gabby POV

The shift went by uneventfully, I was just glad to see it end when the clock struck eight. I quickly changed out of my gear and grabbed my things, if I hurried fast enough I would be able to catch a few hours of sleep before Evan got off of shift.

When I got home, everything was how I left it. I set my bags down the chair closest to the door and begin to look through my mail. As I got to the second bill, my phone began to ring in my pocket. I threw the mail on top of my bag and answered the phone.

"Hello," I greet the caller.

"Hey babe," Evan's voice filled my ears brining an instant smile to my face. "How was your shift?"

"Good," I tell him as I take a seat on the long couch in my living room.

"I'm glad you're safe," he states. "I wanted to let you know that I have to work late tonight, one of the other doctors called in. But I should be at Molly's around nine."

"Okay," I say feeling a little disappointed.

"I also wanted to call because there was something I was meaning to say this morning and come to think of it right now is not a good time."

"It's okay," I tell him with concern in my voice.

"It's nothing bad, I'll tell you tonight."

I laugh a little, "Then I'll see you tonight," I reply using his words. We both say our goodbyes.

I set my phone down next to me as my mind began to race about seeing Matt next shift. Part of me was excited to see him and the other part of me was completely terrified. I kept thinking back to how he was before he left and my heart ached. What if this time away didn't fix him? What if he was worse off then before? I ran my hands over my face trying to erase these burning questions in my mind. I just need to get some sleep, I tell myself as I stand up and head towards my safe haven. I quickly change out of my jeans and into a pair of comfy shorts. As I lay my head down, I can't help but think things have really changed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Matt POV

I reach for my wallet as I think about tonight's events. I knew that I would have to explain to everyone that I was fine and thank them for their concern, but to tell the truth the only person I feel comfortable talking about my personal stuff is Gabby. She has become that voice inside my head and no matter how hard I try I just can't shut her up. I smile at that thought, but I have to face everyone at the same time.

I check my reflection one last time before I leave the apartment. The dark circles that use to shadow my eyes are no longer there and the sadness that filled my feature have all but vanished away. Deep down, I know that I'm still hurting, but it gets a little better every day.

I grab my keys off of the table and leave my apartment; the wind stirs as I walk towards my truck taking in my surrounds. It's almost unreal being back home to where other people actually are around compared to months of silence and solitude. I climb into my truck and start the ignition, this is it I tell myself as I put it into gear and make my way to Molly's.

Gabby POV

Today was Molly's was crowded more than usual, Otis and I were working behind the bar doing our best to get drinks out to the costumers as fast as possible. I turned around to give the guy at the counter his change, but I ended up walking right into Otis causing the glasses he was carrying to crash to the ground.

We both looked at the mess then at each other, "its fine," I tell him throwing my hands in the air, "I'll get it." I bent down to pick up the bigger pieces of the broken glass, once I was able to locate all the large pieces. I went to the backroom and grabbed the broom and dust pan, in truth Otis should be cleaning this up, I tell myself as I open the door to the main bar. I glance around the room, before I take a step towards the back of bar. It seems that everyone is having a good time and it was nice to see Molly's getting the crowd she deserved. A smile graced my face as I continued to look around the room at the groups of people, but a familiar form caught my eye. I squinted my eyes together to get a better look, but my eyes grew wide with surprise as I saw him standing there and my heart pounded against my chest. The broom and dust pan fell from my hands as my smile disappeared from my face, it wasn't that I wasn't happy to see him, but I rush of panic swept through me without warning. I wasn't prepared to see him, talk to him until next shift. I thought I had time to figure out what I was going to say to him, but it didn't matter what I thought, because he was here.

"Dawson," Otis calls out, drawing my attention back to the bar, he his motioning for me to get over there. I bend down and pick up the broom and the dust pan and quickly walk over there to clean up the broken glass.

"Do you know where a guy can get a decent beer?" a voice asked over the counter. I looked up to see his blue eyes staring down at me.

Matt POV

Walking up the steps to the bar, somehow makes me feel at home, even more so then actually being in my apartment. I slide my hand over the hard wooden door, a memory flashes through my mind of Gabby and I searching for this door. I don't linger long on outside of the bar remembering better days. I take a deep breath as I pull open the door; my eyes adjust to lighting as I take in the amount of people that are actually here. I stand in awe of the place, but my eyes begin to look for the person that I most want to see. I search behind the bar, but I don't see her then my eyes move around the room, still no sign of her.

"Dawson," I hear someone shout from the bar, my attention swiftly moves to the direction of Otis waving his arms, I move my eyes to the person he is talking to and I see her. I watch for a moment longer as she makes her way behind the busy bar.

My feet begin to move me once she is out of my line of sight. I rest my hands against the hard wooden counter as I lean over to see Gabby sweeping up broken glass; a smile spreads across my face as I see her. She looks as good as I remember her, "Do you know where a guy can get a decent beer?" I ask loud enough for her to hear.

Her brown eyes look up to meet mine, for a second I see she is completely surprised, but then a smile makes it way to her beautiful face.

"Matt Casey," she says coming to the edge of the bar and gives me a hug. As out bodies make contact, I feel myself completely relax. I take in a deep breath, enjoying her scent, something I really missed. "It's so good to see you," she said pulling back. "If you give me a minute, I'll bring you a beer."

"Yeah," I say looking around the bar; I spot Severide and the guys sitting over on the far wall. "I'll go say hi to the boys."

"Okay, I'll be over there in a second." She responds.

I take a longer look at her then I should before I leave my spot. I can't help but just stare at her, she makes me feel like I'm healed. I turn around and head towards the table.

"Lieutenant Casey, is that you?" Cruz was the first to see me, causing all the guys to turn to face me. All the guys began to cheer and move around the table to shake my hand.

"Holy shit, you're back!" Capp shouted over the loud noise.

"Yeah," I reply as I shook Mills' hand.

"It's great to see you Lieutenant," he says pulling me into a hug. When Peter Mills first arrived at 51, I didn't know what to make of him. I knew that he a lot of potential, but I knew that his he would do anything he could to get to squad, and there was the whole thing with Dawson. But he was there on the one of the worse nights of my life, he did more for me then he will ever realize.

"It's great to be back," I reply.

"Alright boys, this round on me just don't tell Herrmann," Gabby says as she brings over beer.

"Where is he tonight?" Severide asked as he took a huge gulp of his beer.

"Lee Henry wasn't feeling good and Cindy is out of town. He'll be bummed that he missed out on Casey's return," Gabby said as she looked over at me. "Beer up gentlemen," she tells them as she raises her beer in the air, "To Casey, glad he is back where he belongs. 51 hasn't been the same without you, Cheers." She says as everyone follows suit and tab bottles together. I watch Gabby out of the corner of my eye as I take a drink of my beer, I notice that her eye's are on me as well. We both smile as we continue to drink.

"So how was the fish?" Gabby asked standing closer to me.

"Good, they were really biting," I tell her as I set my beer on the table.

"That was my dad's favorite spot," she says as she looks down to her shoes and then back up to me.

I like when she tells me stories about her family or when she just gives me a little information about them; it helps me understand her more.

"Hey Matt," she replies drawing my attention back to her. "You know that we are great friends right and I'm happy being in your life as a friend."

"You have always been there for me," I say with a small smile, there was no way I could have gotten through all this without her. She was my support system and I was so lucky to have her in my life.

"That will never change," she smirks and then looks back down at her shoes, "and that is why I need to tell you something."

My eyes grow wide and my heart stops, I can tell whatever she needs to say is weighting on her.

"I…" before Gabby could get out her thoughts, Otis called out her name. She looked over her shoulder to see him motioning for her to come back. She held up her pointer finger, telling him to give her one more minute. She then turned back to me looking somewhat frazzled, "Um, I have to get back to the bar, but we can talk about this later."

"Are you sure," I ask hoping that she will just say what she needs to say.

"Its fine and here is not the best place, but we can talk about it tomorrow or something," she says pulling me into a hug. "I want you to know that I am really glad your back." She then pulls out of our embrace and walks back to the bar. As she walks away I can still feel her lingering touch against my body, I almost ache for her to come back, but I can't be thinking of Gabby like that were friends, I remind myself as I force my attention back to the conversation taking place at the table.

Gabby POV

I hand two longnecks to the couple waiting at the end of the bar, tonight has been crazy with all these costumers here. I rest my hand on the bar as I bend down to pick up a piece of paper on the floor by my foot. As I stand up to throw the paper out, I notice the door opens with Evan walking in. An instant smile comes to my face as his eyes search of the faces, but quickly finds mine.

He makes his way over to me as I lean across the bar, "Hey babe," he says as he kisses my lips.

"How was work?" I ask as I pull back from him.

"Busy and tiring, but I'm glad to be here with you now," he states as he leans in a places another kiss on my lips.

Matt POV

We all laugh as Cruz tells us another story about a call they went out on last week, I look behind me to get check up my surrounding, but my eyes catch something I didn't expect. Gabby was leaning over the bar kissing some guy. I tighten my hand around the top of my bottle as I instantly turned away from the scene. I turn back to make sure that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, but there she stood kissing him. I could feel an unsettling feeling sink into the pit of my stomach.

The group's laughter brought me back, I smile as I take another drink of my beer and pretend to listen, but my mind is frozen with the image of Gabby and that guy.

"I'm going to go get another beer," Severide states as he gets off of his stool.

"You might need to stand in line, I think Gabby is a little busy," I reply doing my best to keep it casual.

"Oh that's her new boyfriend, Evan, he's a great guy. You should come with me and introduce yourself."

"No, I'm good. I'm actually going to get going, I have a lot of stuff I need to get done around the apartment before getting back on shift," I tell him as I down the last bit of my beer.

"Alright, man. It was good to see you and if you need anything, just let me know."

"Thanks," I tell him as we do a quick one armed hug.

I walk through the bar and towards the door; before I leave I glance over at Gabby. Our eyes meet and I give her a small smile before leaving. I could see that see that she was happy and that is all I have ever wanted for her. I get into my truck and make the short drive home alone.

Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and I'm so glad that you guys like this story so much. I just wanted to let you all know that I will be taking a break from updating starting this weekend, I will be on vacation for the next two weeks and will not have internet access. So I hope that will you stick with the story and patiently wait and I promise it will pay off. Thank you again for all the reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Gabby POV

My eyes are glued to ceiling as I lay completely still, just focusing on last nights events. It was great seeing Matt and I honestly happy to see him, but I really thought I was past everything with him. After seeing him last night and talking to him, some of those feelings that I had for him reappeared. I rolled over to face Evan, who was fast a sleep. I really cared about Evan and could see us really becoming something, but I had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I rolled back over and climbed out of the bed slowly, so that I wouldn't wake him.

I grabbed my robe hanging on the back of my door and slid it on walking my way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. "I need some coffee," I mumble to myself as I round the counter and go straight to the coffee maker. I lean against the counter after hitting the start button, as much as I have tried not to think about last night, it creeps back into my mind.

"Gabby," Evans calls from down the hallway and he walks into the kitchen.

"Hi," I say as he moves closer to me.

"Hi yourself," he says placing a light kiss on my lips; I close my eyes due to the light touch. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," I tell him as I lean in closer and take told of his lips. Our kiss grows deeper as he wraps his arms around me. He breaks the kiss before we can go any further and rest his forehead against mine. "I told you last night on the phone there were something that I wanted to tell you."

"Yes, I remember," I tease with a smile.

"I wanted to tell you, that these last couple of months have been the best and I really like being with you."

"Well I like being with you too."

Evan smiled, "That's good, because Gabby I'm in love with you."

I stand there for a moment, unsure of what to say. I have strong feelings for him but there is something holding me back from going all in, I open my mouth to speak but Evan cuts me off.

"I know this is a lot to take in and I don't expect you to say it back, but I just thought that you should know."

I moved my hands down to his and held them, "Evan I really do care about you, but it's harder for me to use that word, but I promise once I'm ready I'm going to shout it from the roof tops."

"When you're ready to say it, I'll be here to hear it," he lips found mine again. We were interrupted by the beeping sound of the coffee maker.

"Saved by the bell," he mumbled against my lips, causing me to chuckle a little

Matt POV

For the millionth time I glance over at the clock on my night stand, it feels like hours have past me by since the last time, but it shows it has only been eight minutes. I pull the warm covers off my body and climb out of the bed. The instant need for coffee quickly takes control over me as I walk out of the dim bedroom and towards the kitchen. As if I'm still on autopilot, I begin to make the heavenly beverage, as I hit the start button my cell phone rings from the far away counter. I slowly reach for it and before looking at the caller ID answer it.

"Hello," I greet with sleep still in my voice.

"Hey," Severide's voice rings into my ears. "Do you have plans for the day?"

"Nothing really," I say rubbing my eyes.

"Well I could really use your help today, Shay bought some bookshelves that need to be put together and I was thinking that it would get done faster with some help."

"Uh, yeah I could come by. What time were you thinking?"

"How about five, that way when were done we can catch the hokey game."

"Okay," I say opening the cabinet and reaching up for a coffee mug. "You owe me some beer."

"Deal," he quickly agreed with a light chuckle. "Alright, I'll see you later."

"See ya," I reply quickly as I end the conversation and set the phone back on the counter.

"Always getting pulled into these things," I tell myself as I shake my head and reach for the coffee pot.

Once I pour my coffee into the white mug, I make my way back into the living room and take a seat on the couch. I try not to think of Gabby, but my mind kept drifting back to seeing her last night. She looked better then I remembered, I smile at the thought of her, but my smile quickly disappeared as I remembered her boyfriend at the bar with her. I don't know why it affected me so much to see them together, but it did. I took a drink of the hot liquid.

Gabby POV

"So what are your plans?" Evan asked as he pulled his jacket on.

"I promised Shay that I would go with her to pick out some more furniture."

"Did you guys do that last week?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We did, but she couldn't find any she liked, so now we are looking at different places," I said taking a seat on the couch.

"Well you have fun with that," he laughed as he leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"What time are you getting off tonight?"

"I should be done around nine, but I was going to stay at my place tonight, I have some things I need to get done without any distractions." 

"Am I a distraction?" I asked with a small pout.

Evans leans down, his lips almost touching mine, "the worst kind," he replied before he took a hold of my lips.

"That's fine," I spoke breaking the kiss, "because Shay and I were planning on having a girl's night."

"Should I be worried," faked concern broke out across his hansom face.

"Definitely," I reply as wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing his lips to mine for one last kiss.

"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow," Evan smiled as he moved towards the door. "Love you," he replied with one foot out the door and then he left.

I watched him through the window as he made his way to his car, part of me wanted to run out this door to tell him I loved him too, but the other part of me wasn't sure of what I wanted. His car drove away from the curb, as I continued to watch out the window. I quickly glanced over at the clock on the far wall of living room. "Shit," I call out when I realize that I need to be over at Shay's in almost and hour and a half.

It didn't take me long to get ready and thank god for that, I think as I pull up in front of Shay and Severide's place. I get out of the car and being to climb the small steps up to her front door. Before my hand can reach the door to knock, the wooden door opens up quickly.

"Morning," Shay says with a toothbrush in her hand.

"You're not ready?" I ask.

"I over slept, but I'll be ready in like ten minutes. So come on in and make your self at home," she stated as she opened the door wider then turned back around towards the bathroom.

I walk in and then shut the door behind me, as I move further into the apartment I see Severide behind the stove.

"Morning Dawson," he calls out.

"Morning," I say as I look over to see what he is making.

"So what are you guys shopping for today?" he asks as he stirs the eggs in the pan.

"I think couches," I reply as I take a seat on the stool across from him.

"Yeah, Shay has been saying that the ones we have are too uncomfortable," Kelly then dropped his voice into a whisper, "but really I think all this is from her break up with Jane."

"I agree with you," I tell him with a nod of my head. When Jane broke up with Jane a few weeks ago, she took it really hard. She knew that all of this "change" had to do with the fact that she didn't want to deal with her emotions.

"So what are your plans for the day?" I ask hoping to change the subject.

"I have a few errands to run today and then I will be putting up those three book selves you guys bought last time."

"Poor Kelly has to do all the work," I tease.

"Actually…"

"Dawson, I'm ready," Shay calls out as she steps out into view.

"Wish me luck," I tell Severide with a roll of my eyes. He simply laughs and tells us goodbye.

Matt POV

"How many book selves did Shay buy?" I asked looking down at the boxes.

"Three, I'm not sure where she plans on putting these, but I told her that I would set them up."

"Where did she go?" I asked pulling one of the long boxes over to me and began to tear open the corner.

"She and Dawson went shopping for furniture, they should be back soon. Shay said something about them having a girl's night tonight too."

A smile grew on Matt's face at the thought of Gabby and Shay having a girl's night, he knew that they tried to do one once every couple of months, but he wasn't sure of what they entailed. "So Gabby's new boyfriend is okay with sharing her with Shay?" I ask as I slide out the dark wooden boards from the box.

"I don't think he really has a choice," Severide smiles as he does the same. "Evan is a really great guy."

"Yeah, you already said that at Molly's."

"Are you jealous?" Severide asks as he stops what he is doing.

"No," I say as I set the boards into two different piles, hoping that he couldn't read through my bull shit. "Gabby helped me when I needed her the most; I just want to make sure that the guy she is with is treating her right."

Kelly nods his head, but I don't think he fully buying what I'm selling, "From what I can see, he really cares about her and treats her well."

"That's good," I say as I grab the two longer boards and set them up.

"So how are doing now that you got your head clear?" Severide asked.

"I'm doing a lot better."

"Casey, you can tell me," he tries again as he tacs the small nail into the top part of the bookshelf.

"Are we really going to do this?" I ask motioning my hand in between us. "Are we really going to have this heart to heart chat like two females?"

"No," he quickly replies. "I just want to make sure you are good and if you need to talk I'm here for you."

I simply nod my head as I tac the boards in, I know that Kelly means well, but the only person I can talk to about this stuff is Gabby. She saw me at my lowest and still didn't turn me away. I could tell Kelly what I'm thinking, but he wouldn't understand because he doesn't know where I started. We finished putting the bookshelves together in silence.

"Where does Shay want these?" I ask standing it up.

"I have no idea," Severide reply doing the same with his. "I'm gonna grab a beer before we start the next one, do you want one?"

"Yeah sure," I reply looking over my handy work.

Gabby POV

"I am convinced that you are never going to find a couch you like," I tell Shay as I buckle myself as she begins to drive down the street.

"I'm not going to settle for something that I really don't know if I actually like it or love it, there's a difference."

"Well you should really make up your mind then," I reply looking out the window.

"Are you alright?" Shay asked looking at me and then at the road.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say trying my best to cover any trace of my lie.

"Spill it," Shays calls me out on it.

"This morning Evan told me that he loved me and I couldn't say it back," I tell her moving my attention from the window to my hands. "I really like him, but I don't think I'm ready to say those words."

"Are you sure that is the only reason?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I was about to answer Shay, but as she pulled the car to the curb, I noticed a very familiar truck parked on the other side of the road. "Matt's here," I say as I point over to where I found his vehicle.

Author's Note: Hey guys I know that it has been a while since I updated, but I had been on vacation for the last two weeks. I was planning on updating yesterday, but I had to go to a birthday party and then ended up getting sick. I hope that you enjoy the update and please let me know what you think.

Thanks

Grace


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Gabby POV

"Matt's here," I say as I point over to where I found his vehicle.

"Severide must have called him," She says as she reaches for the door handle of car, but before she climbs out she looks over at me. I do my best to try and collect myself before leaving the car. I wasn't expecting to see Matt.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell her finally removing my eyes from the back of his truck to face her. "I just remembered that I forgot to pick something up," I lie lamely still trying my best to collect myself.

Shay raises her eyebrows, "Really, You're going to sit there and lie to me?"

"Let's just go in," I tell her as I open the door and move around the car. I am not ready to get into how I feel with Shay right now, not right before I have to go and see Matt standing in front of me. Shay is beside me as we walk across the street and go up the steps to the door.

"I really think Kelly is going to be happy that I didn't find a couch, he seems to like the one we have," Shay rolled her eyes as she opened the door.

When we walked into the apartment Kelly and Matt where sitting on the black sofa with a beer in their hands and watching a game on TV.

"Hey," Severide shouts at us, "Did you guys find a new couch?" he asked not turning his attention away from the screen.

"No," Shay replies taking a seat on the recliner next to him. "They really didn't have anything I liked."

I take a seat on the arm of Shay's chair; I can feel a certain pair of eyes on me. I do my best not to look in direction, but I can't help myself. I glance over at him, his eyes still on me, I give him a small smile he does the same.

"How are you doing?" I ask knowing that I was being ridiculous.

"Things are good, Kelly and I just got finished putting all of Shay's book shelves together," he said tilting his beer in the direction of their work.

"You guys were busy," I reply with a laugh.

"Not really," Matt smiled taking a drink of his beer.

"I'm gonna go grab one of those," I say standing up and walking into the kitchen. I take a deep breath with my back turned to my group of friends; I can do this I tell myself.

Matt POV

I take another drink of my beer as I try not to watch Gabby walk away, I have to force my eyes to stay on the game. I hear Shay and Severide talking, but I'm not really following their conversation. Once I hear Gabby's voice, I'm brought back to the real world.

"So did you boys think that you were going to join us for girls' night," Gabby chuckled resuming her spot next to Shay.

"Yeah we thought we would get our nails and hair done too," Kelly replied with a smirk.

"We are not twelve," Shay shouted with an eye roll. "How about after the game we play a game of cards or something, it has been a long time since we all hung out."

"I'm in," Severide nodded his head and then turned over to look at me, "Casey?"

I can feel all eyes are on me, "Sure what the hell," I say taking another drink of my beer.

We all watch the game as we laugh and joke around, Gabby is a little quieter then normal, but seems to be in good spirits. It was nice just being with my friends without having to explain every twenty seconds on how I'm doing. It almost makes me feel like I'm normal again, like I'm healed.

The buzzard sounded with the crowd on TV and us erupting with cheers, our team won with a one point lead.

"Before we get started, Shay show me where you want the book shelves."

"Okay," she replied as both of them got off the couch and went up stairs.

I look over at Gabby who was watching them, "How was the shopping?" I ask drawing her attention over to me.

"Exhausting," Gabby sighed. "We went to seven different stores, but she couldn't find a damn thing she liked."

I smiled, "Sounds like Shay."

"Some things never change," Gabby replied looking down at her beer.

"Speaking of changes, I hear you have a boyfriend," I say before I could stop by myself. Before Gabby says anything, I watch her body tense and for a second I can see panic in her facial expression, but as quickly as it came on it disappeared.

"Yeah, his name is Evan and he is a doctor over at Lakeshore."

"A doctor uh?" I say almost wanting to laugh at the irony of all it.

"Yeah, but we didn't meet there. That night you came over to tell me you were leaving, Shay and made me go on a blind date with her and her girlfriend at the time. The date was a complete nightmare," Gabby laughed. "I ended up sneaking out early, but I left my purse there and had to go back. When I got there the wait staff had already found it and placed by the bar, as I was waiting he accidentally split his drink on me and that is how we meant. You probably don't want to hear this," she rambles on looking up at the ceiling.

A large part of me agrees with her, but there was no way I was going to tell her that, "No you're fine," I say. "And for the record I don't think it was an accident."

"You guys ready?" Shay asked as she came back into the room with Kelly and a deck of cards in her hand.

"Of course," Gabby said as she got up from her spot, "I'm going to grab another beer. Does anyone want another one?" she asked.

"I'll take one," Severide and I both said.

I ran my hand through my hair as I moved closer to coffee table watching Shay passing out the cards. I knew that tonight was going to be along night with Gabby near by.

Gabby POV

After my short conversation with Matt I needed a moment to put myself together. I couldn't believe that I just told him the whole story of how Evan and I meant. I could see that he looked a little uncomfortable as I rambled on; I should have realized that it would make him miss Hallie more. How stupid could I be? I asked myself as I grabbed the beers out of the fridge and made my back into the living room. I handed Kelly and Matt their beers and took a seat on the floor between Matt on side of the couch and Shay in the chair.

"So what are we playing?" I asked getting comfortable.

"Euchre, Dawson and I are on a team and Casey and Severide are a team," Shay states as she passes out the cards.

"Ready to get your ass kicked," I smiled over at Matt.

"The only ass that will be getting kicked is your's," Matt smirked back.

We played a three with Shay and I winning two out of the three. It was nice just hanging out with everyone; we joked around and talked about our favorite calls. It has been a while since I've seen Matt's smile reach all the way to his eyes. There were moment throughout the game, I couldn't take my eyes off of me, and he was beautiful. I almost forgot how it felt to be around him like this; it just reminded me how far he had come since I found him in house that day.

"I should be getting home," Matt said looking at his watch.

"You said that you would do girls' night with us," Shay said getting up off of the chair and grabbed the empty beer bottles. "And grils' night is not complete with out a movie."

"Very true Casey," I say incomplete agreement.

"What movie did you two have in mind?" he asked looking between us.

"You can bet it is a chick flick" Severide laughed.

"Actually smartass, we haven't picked out a movie yet," Shay called out.

Severide hurried up and grabbed the remote and began going through their options. After much debate, we all agreed on a comedy from the early nineties. We sat around the coffee table watching the movie, but it wasn't long before I looked over to find Shay sleeping on Severide's shoulder, his eyes were also closed. I then looked over at Matt who was still wide awake.

"I love this movie," he says as his eyes moving towards me.

"Yeah me too" I say.

He then looks over at the two sleeping bodies, "wish I could say the same for them."

"I know we didn't get to talk the other night, but I wanted to tell you how glad I am your back."

"Thanks," he smiles. "It is great to be home again with all of you. It's funny but just a little while I ago I felt normal and I can't wait to get back to work. "

"I know all the guys are excited for you to be back, things at the station haven't been the same," I tell him.

"I'm sure you guys got by with out me," he teases.

"That doesn't mean it was easy. I was worried about you," I tell him in a moment of complete honesty.

Matt looks down at his lap and then back up to me, "There was a thousand different times I wanted to call you the whole time I was gone. I knew that if I heard your voice everything would be okay."

I wasn't expecting Matt to say something like to me; it took me by complete surprise. "Why didn't you call?" I asked in a whisper.

"Because," he paused for a second and ran his hand over his face. "Because if I would have called you, I would have come back before I was ready."

We stayed there just staring at one another, neither one of us daring the other to move. There was something in the air that seemed to weight us both down, but yet completely released us.

"I…" began to say before my phone began to ring. It took me a moment longer to realize that I needed to answer it. I looked away from Matt as I pulled the phone out of my pocket and answered it. "Hello," I said as I cleared my throat.

"Hey babe," Evan's voice rang into my ears; I looked over at Matt who was watching me. I slowly lifted myself off of the couch and made my way into the kitchen. I didn't feel comfortable talking to Evan in front of Matt.

"Gabby?" he asked.

"I'm here," I tell him.

"Did I call at a bad time?" he asked

"No, I was just thinking," I lie knowing that I didn't have to, but I felt like I couldn't explain to him.

"Well I was just calling to see how girls' night is going and just wanted to say goodnight."

"Oh that is very sweet of you," I tell him.

"Alright, I'll let you get back to your fun. I love you," he said.

"Goodnight," I tell him with a close of my eyes. He tells me the same and is off of the line. I know he said that he would wait for me to catch up to him, but I know that waiting is going to get old and if I can't say those words to him then that will be the end.

Matt POV

I knew who was on the phone the moment Gabby answered it. I watched as guilty looked clouded her face as she said hello and that same look as she got up and moved into the kitchen. I forced myself not to watch her; instead I stared at the screen, but completely stuck in my own head. My mind kept replaying what I just shared with Gabby. I was painfully honest with her and instead of being embarrassed by my words, I felt like I was finally lifting a weight off of me I had been carrying around.

"Sorry about that," Gabby said as she sat back down.

"Evan?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, he is working tonight and just wanted to say goodnight," she says quietly.

"He sounds like a great guy" I tell knowing that was what she needed to hear from me.

"He is," she says with a nod of her head.

I look back at my watch, "I really should be going, we all have an early day tomorrow."

"Yeah," I'll follow you out.

We both quietly grab our things so we don't wake Kelly and Shay. As we step out onto the porch, Gabby and I slowly walk in the same pace.

"Thank you for everything," I tell her knowing that I don't need to elaborate; she knows what I'm referring to.

"Anytime," she tells me. We stop at her car; she gives me a quick hug and drives away. It took everything I had in me not to just hold here in the middle of the street, not for any sexual reason, but just to feel her against me.

Author's Note

Thank you so much for all the great reviews and for everyone that is reading this story! I hope you are enjoying the updates and everyone is having a great week. Please let me know what you think.

Grace


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Matt POV

I sat in my parked car looking onto the station from the diver seat. It amazed how everything in my life has changed over the last few months, but yet can still remain the same. I watch as Cruz and Otis walk up the cement drive and go into the firehouse. I sigh, thinking that I should do the same. I reach behind me and grab my bag, this is it I tell myself opening the door and taking a deep breath.

"Lieutenant," Mills calls out as from the sidewalk as he sees me walking inside.

"Hey Mills," I say as I shake his hand.

"Glad to have you back," he replied as we walked in together. Before we opened the glass door, I stopped and looked at Mills, "I never got the chance to say thank you for everything you did the night Hallie died." I am not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I wanted him to know he made a difference.

"No worries," Mills said with a nod of his head. "You would have done the same."

"Still, I want you to know that it meant a lot."

"You're welcome," Mills said as he opened the door and I followed.

We made our way into the common room as I came further into the room all the guys were standing around, calling out to me. I could tell that they were glad to see me; I also noticed Gabby wasn't in the room. Once I was able to say hi to everyone, I went into the locker room. As I walked over to my locker, I saw Gabby sitting on the wooden bench with her back turned to me. I could tell she was on the phone. I tried my best not to listen, but I could tell by the tone of her voice who ever she was talking to it was serious.

I went to my locker and did the lock and then glanced over at Gabby who was stood up as she put her phone in her pocket and then faced me. I could tell by her expression that she thought she was alone.

"Everything okay?" I asked turning my attention back to putting my things away in my locker.

"Yeah, it's nothing," she replies looking down at her feet.

"Well if you ever want to talk about that nothing, you know where you can find me," I say looking back at her. A smile plays on her lips and she nods her head.

"Thanks, but it will be fine. I should probably get out of her and help Shay with stocking the ambulance."

"I'll see you out there," I tell her.

"Yup," she smiles again and makes her way out of the locker room, but before she could get too far the bells ring calling her to duty.

Gabby POV

I finish cleaning the ambo with Shay, but mind is still on my conversation with Evan. I know he keeps telling me he will wait for me, but I can tell he's beginning to think something is wrong. I don't want to lie to him and tell him that I love him, when I'm not one hundred percent sure.

"You're really quiet," Shay said jumping out the back door.

"It's nothing," I tell her hoping that she will just drop it, but I can tell by the look on her face that is the last thing is going to do. I take in a deep breath as I jump down to the ground and close the back doors. "I don't know why it's so hard for me to tell him that I love him," I tell her.

"We are talking about Evan right?"

"Who else would I be talking about?" I point out as we begin walking towards the doors that lead inside of the station. "He treats me so good and I love spending time with him, but I feel that we may be moving too fast."

Shay stopped at the door before opening it, she looked around to make sure that nobody was in ear shot, "If you want my advice and I'm going to give it to anyways, I think there is a reason you can't say those words to Evan and you won't be able to do that until you face that reason."

Matt POV

The one thing I didn't miss about this was the paper work. I sit at my desk trying to fill out this report from an accident that happened earlier on shift. A drunk driver smashed into a couple coming home from a movie, they both suffered minor injuries and had to be taken to the hospital. The driver on the other hand didn't have a starch on him and will be sitting in lockup for a while.

I sigh as I look back over at the clock on the wall, it has only been ten minutes since I started filling this out, but seems like a lot longer. I begin writing my accounts of accident; I force myself to finish the paperwork before I allowed myself to get up again. A few more minutes into my work, I hear a light knock on my door. I see Herrmann standing on the other side of the glass door. I wave him.

"What can I do for you," I ask dropping the pen on the desk.

"Chief is looking for you," he told me.

"Okay, thanks," I say standing up and following him out. I walk into chief's office; I stop at the door to see him on the phone. He looks up and waves me in. I take a seat in front of him as he finishes up his conversation.

"You needed to see me Chief," I say not sure what this is about.

"I just wanted to check in with you to see how your shift went."

"It was a typically shift, it actually felt normal."

"Good, you know that if you need anything you just need to ask."

"I know and thank you Chief," I say getting up and making my way out of his office.

The rest of shift went by just as smoothly, after everyone checked to make sure that I was okay it seemed like everything went back to same old station 51. I grabbed my bag and walked back out to my truck.

"Hey Casey," Gabby said as she stood over by her car. "Did you have breakfast yet?"

"Not yet," I say throwing my things into my truck.

"You want to grab a bite?" she smiled.

"Sure, I'll meet you at the dinner up the street."

"Okay," she replied getting into her car and began to drive in the direction of our intended meeting spot.

Gabby POV

I wait for Matt as I lean against the side of my car, I knew that since he has been back we really haven't been able to just hang out and really talk. I knew that there were some things that we both needed to say. I watched as he pulled his truck into the spot next to my car. He smiled as he got out and walked over to me, "I remember this place," he said as I stood up straight and we walked in together.

"I know, I haven't been here since we ate here that one time," I say almost kicking myself for bringing up that memory of his mom being paroled.

"It was good morning," he told me as we took a seat in an open booth near a window. We took a seat and grabbed the menus behind the ketchup bottle.

As he held up the menu he cleared his voice, "That was the morning when I realized how much I could really depend on you."

I was thankful that he couldn't see my face right now, it was beating red and I could feel the warmth creep down my neck. I knew that I needed to say something, "You can always depend on me for anything."

"I know," he simply replied.

I set my menu down, "Do you know what you want?" I asked him trying my best not to let his comment affect me.

He set his menu down, "I already knew what I wanted before I walked in the door," he said keeping his eye on me.

"I'm glad that makes one of us," I tell him. "I'm torn between the French toast and the blue berry pancakes."

"When that happens to me I usually flip a coin," he chuckled. "In fact…" he said as he dung into his pants pocket and pulled out a quarter, "Heads you get French toast tails you get blue berry pancakes."

"Okay," I smile.

He flips the coin in the air and catches it a second later; he shows me the coin "it looks like it will be blue berry pancakes."

"I can't argue with the Matt Casey bulletproof plan," I say teasing him.

It didn't take long for the waitress to take our orders and bring out our food. We talked about our families and what we had been up to since he left. It was great just being able to talk with Matt about the simple things in life, it brought back so many great memories. I hated when the check came, it signaled that our time together must come to an end. Before I could grab the check off of the table, Matt snatched it and handed cash over to the waitress, "You can keep the change," he told her as he put his wallet back in the pocket.

"Next time breakfast is on me," tell him.

"Next time," he repeats with a smirk that makes me blush.

Author's note:

Thank you to everyone that is reading and/or reviewing this story! Not that I'm wishing summer away by any means, but I can't wait for season three to get! I need to know what happens and all of these spoilers that are coming out have me questioning some things. Anyways, hope you like the update and tell me what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Matt POV

"Alright guys pack it in," I tell my men as I gather my gear and head towards the truck. This is my third officially shift since I have been back and it was like I never left. We just put out a small house fire on the corner of Damon and Ashland, thank god no one was hurt and we all are one step closer to going home safe and sound in the morning. I throw my halogen into the compartment of the truck and climb into the passenger side.

We ride back into the station with all of us quietly talking about the events of the house fire. Cruz backs the truck into the garage and we all climb out and start to take off our gear.

"I hope we can catch the rest of the game," Herrmann says sliding off his jacket and setting it on the door of the truck.

"It should be in the second period," Cruz says as he does the same.

We rush into the common room with the squad guys and gather around the TV, ready to catch up on what we all missed. We hear the door opens with Shay and Dawson's laughter being heard by everyone in the room. I laugh to hear Gabby laugh, every time I hear that sound, it brings a smile to my face.

"What's so funny?" Mouch asks with his eyes still glued to the game.

"Nothing," Shay says as she bends down to pet Pouch.

Not before long the alarm went off again, "Ambulance 61, Squad 3, Truck 81, Battalion 25, and engine 51 apartment fire on 1632 Taylor."

We all jump up and ran back to our waiting gear and climb into the trucks. It doesn't take long before we are on scene. The four story building looks to be fully engulfed in the hot flames.

"Chief," I call out as I approach him waiting for his orders.

"Truck and squad, sweep the floors look for any victims," he orders keeping his eyes on the task in front of him.

"Alright," I say as I turn to the men, "Mills, Cruz, and Herrmann you're with me. Mouch and Otis, you will do the aerial," I shout as I place my mask on and go charging in with man men as well as Severide and his men.

"Fire department call out!" I yell as I enter another room. I stay low to the ground as I place my hand out in front me, hoping to feel anything in my way. I search the room and come up empty. I move back into the hallway, as I see Cruz guiding two people to safety. I move into the next room calling out for anyone but there is no answer. I continue to do the same in the next rooms, but the results were the same. I can now feel the heat through my gear, and can see the flames rolling on the ceiling.

"Floor is clear 81 is coming out," I say into the speaker.

"Copy" Chief's voice booms back within seconds.

"Let's get out of here," I tell them as we leave the way we came in, that is when I noticed a door closed. "Wait!" I call out moving over to the closed door, I hurry up and kick it in. "Fire department call out," I yell as I enter the room low to the ground. I move further into the room and begin to search the room; my hand makes contact with something. I move closer as see a young boy laying still. I immediately grab him and race out of the room and towards the exit.

My heart races in pure panic as I do my best to get us out of here, once we burst through the door to the waiting paramedics; I set the boy down on the gurney. Shay and Dawson begin to assess his condition.

"I don't feel a pulse," Shay says.

"Start compressions," Gabby orders as she hooks the kids to a monitor. They work on him trying their best to get his heartbeat back, but by the look on Gabby's face I know that there is nothing that can be done to save the one I left behind. I watch as Gabby calls it and alerts main that they will be transporting him.

The ride back to the station was silent; I didn't know what to say. Everyone quietly went back into the common room as I went into my office. I shut the door behind me and closed the blinds; I needed a moment to myself. Not being able to help that boy and save him brought back the memories of the night Hallie died. I sat at my desk as the tears slowly rolled down my face.

Gabby POV

Shay and I got back to the somber house about an hour after the trucks pulled away from the scene. I knew this was going to be a hard one for everyone in the house, but I also knew that Casey would take it the hardest. I went in search for him once I was in the common room, but he was no where to be found. I then decided to try his office, as I entered the sleeping quarters I noticed the door was shut and the blinds were down. I stopped in my tracks, knowing that he didn't want to see anyone right now and I wasn't going to push him. He would talk to me when he was ready.

"Dawson you are working the bar tonight," Herrmann called as we all walked out to our cars after shift ended.

"I know," I reply with an eye roll.

"Just checking, I didn't want you to forget," he teased as he walked over to his truck.

I watched him as I made my way to my own car, I noticed that Matt's truck was still parked in its normal spot. I looked behind me to see him walking out the garage door. I could tell by the expression on his face that he had a lot on his mind and right now would not be a good time to talk. So instead I decided a use a different angle, "Matt!" I holler out to him. He looks over at me with the same serious expression.

"I don't know if you have any plans tonight, but you should stop by Molly's for a few drinks."

"I don't know," he said.

"Well if you feel like coming out tonight, I'll be working the bar."

"We'll see," he replied.

"Okay, if not I'll talk to you later." We say our goodbyes and drive to our own homes. Once I get back to my place, I hurry and throw on a pair of sweat pants change my shirt and climb into bed. This shift was one of the hardest we have had in a long time, I tell myself as my head hits the pillow.

Matt POV

I slept most of the day, I slept until I couldn't sleep anymore and then I lay in my bed for a few more hours just staring at the ceiling. I can't get that image out of my head of that boy laying on the gurney lifeless and knowing that it was because we got there too late. I finally get out of bed as I read the time on my clock and jump into the shower.

I need to take my mind off of these things, I tell myself as I wash my body. Gabby's face flashes into my mind as I try to get myself to think of other things. This morning I knew she was worried about me, but I couldn't keep being this heavy weight that she has to carry around. I need to be able to fix myself, but I also knew that I should take her up on her offer, but I just can't bring myself to be around everyone tonight. I just need to be alone and clear my head, I tell myself as I get out of the shower. I quickly dry off and wrap a towel around my waist and walk out of the bathroom. I hurry up and get dressed and head into the kitchen and grab a cold one from the fridge.

Gabby POV

I couldn't stop thinking about Matt since the moment I woke up this morning. I knew that he wasn't going to come to Molly's tonight and honestly I don't blame him, but after seeing him lose himself before, I was afraid he would fall back into the same cycle. I know he keeps telling everyone he is better and I believe him, but after losing a victim like he did on shift today, would knock anyone for a loop. I decide that on my way to Molly's I would stop by his place just to make sure that he is okay.

As I slowly pull my car up in front of my house it bring back all the memories of the time before and what I had initially planned on telling him that day. I swallowed the lump that now built up in my throat just thinking about what I was going to say. Looking back I must have been so stupid to think that he needed to know that or by some miracle he felt the same way.

I stood in front of the door taking a deep breath as I knocked. It didn't take long for him to answer the door. "Gabby," he said my name with confusion, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to stop by and check on you," I tell him knowing that if I tried to lie to him right now he would see right through me.

"I'm fine," he says taking a drink of his beer. "You want to come in?" he asks holding the door wider for me to enter.

"Sure," I say as I walk into his apartment.

"You want a beer?" he asks.

"No thanks, I'm good," I tell him as I watch him closer. "So are you going to lie to me again and tell me that you're okay or are you going to be honest with me," I say going straight for the truth.

"What do you want me to say?" Matt asks looking down at the beer in his hands. "That I fucked up and let that kid die."

"You didn't let that kid die; you did the best you could do to save him," I tell him.

"My best wasn't good enough," he says with a sarcastic tone.

"Then I guess you and I are a pair, because we both failed him then," I say with a hitch in my voice. I promised myself no matter what I wouldn't break down in front of Matt, but as we stood there tears began to fall down my face and before I can say anything else I feel Matt's strong arms embrace me.

Matt POV

As I watched Gabby began to break down in front of me something just snapped. I knew that I needed to put my feelings a side and focus on her. She needed me right now; I didn't even realize it until this moment. I quickly pulled her into me as she let a few more tears out.

"I'm sorry," she says after a few quick seconds and then she pulls away from me. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like what?" I ask almost in disbelief.

"Like a mess. You don't need that right now."

"Gabby," I say as I reach out for her. "Don't think that you need to hide yourself from me for any reason."

She nods her head, but her eyes never leave mine, we hold one another's gaze as my hands travel from her shoulders up her neck and land on each side of her face. My eyes move from her eyes to her lips. Before I can stop myself I lean into her and press my lips against her's.

Gabby POV

"I'm sorry," I tell him embarrassed as I move away from him. "I don't want you to see me like this," I say unsure of how to handle myself now. I came here to comfort him and make sure he was okay, but now the roles have been reversed.

"Like what?"

"Like a mess. You don't need that right now," I tell him knowing that whatever I'm feeling right now is probably ten times worse for him.

"Gabby," he says as he places his hands on my shoulders causing my body to tense under his touch. "Don't think that you need to hide yourself from me for any reason."

I don't trust my voice with his hands on me like this and his eyes piercing my own right now, so I nod my head to show that I understand him. We stand there for a moment longer then we should and I can feel his hands traveling up my body, causing me to freeze like a statue. When his hands stop on each side of my face, I can feel eyes move my lips causing me to almost tremble. He then leaned into me and placed his lips on my own.

Without warning my lips begin to move with his as if they are being controlled by someone else, his hands move to my waist as I wrap my hands around his neck. A small moan escapes the back of my throat causing me to come back to reality.

"Matt," I say as I jump out of his embrace. We both stand in our respective spots as we stare at each other. We both don't know what to say, but we know that we can't just leave it like this.

"I'm sorry," he says not knowing what else to do.

Panic runs through my body as I think to what just happened. "I need to go." I say as I rush out of his apartment and towards my car.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Gabby POV

I haven't spoken to Matt since he kissed me. I honestly don't know what to say to him, we both know that it was a mistake, a weak moment between friends, it could never happen again. I am happy with someone else and Matt is just getting over Hallie's death. I pang of guilt courses through my entire body as I think of Evan, I know I should tell him what happened, but it was never going to happen again, Matt and I are just friends I tell myself. I take a deep breath looking over at the clock, knowing that in a few short hours I would be seeing him for the first time since it happened.

I lace up my shoes for my morning run, I need to clear my head and stop all this craziness in my mind and just focus on what really is. I open the door to morning air and begin running as I listen to the music playing from my playlist. I listen to the first song with each step I take, but as the music fades out, my mind wanders to what today will be like when I see Matt. Will he avoid me or pretend like it never happened? I need to stop; I remind myself as I turn the corner and continue my run.

Matt POV

Every time I hear foot steps coming into the locker room my heart begins to race and my mouth starts to become dry. I have practiced a thousand times of what I planned on saying to Gabby when I saw her today, but in all honesty everything I didn't think last night was a mistake. I didn't realize it until after I had kissed her, but I had wanted to do for a very long time and know that I knew what her lips felt like I wanted to do it again and again. But there was no way I could tell Gabby this, the look in eyes spoke volumes. I had been so stupid.

I threw my jacket in my locker as I sighed almost treading the next twenty-four hours. I turned around to leave, as I looked up I found Gabby standing in the doorway almost frozen as she stared at me. I could sense the awkwardness both of our bodies were portraying.

She cleared her throat as she looked down at her hands and then back up at me, "Morning."

"Morning," I greet using the same tone she did. I didn't want to be the first one to talk about the other night, but I knew she was waiting for me to bring it up, "You got a second?" I asked looking around the room to make sure that no one else was around. We didn't need an audience as we hashed this out.

"Uh, yeah," she replied as bit her lower lip, she was nervous.

"I really want to apologize about what happened," I tell her knowing this is what she needed to hear.

"I get it Matt," she said looking down at her feet then back up at me. "You were in a bad way last night and so was I and after everything that has happened in the last few months you needed someone. We both were looking for comfort and that's all it was, two friends, two best friends comforting one another," she says rationalizing the incident.

"You're right," I agree with a nod of my head and a small reassuring smile. "Let's not let things get weird between us. You are one of my best friends and I don't want anything to get in the way of that," I tell her truthfully. I knew my feelings for Gabby were more then just friendly ones, but it would be better to have in my life as just a friend then not at all.

"I meant was I said before, that will never change."

"I…" before I can say anything else I hear footsteps behind Gabby, I look up and see Otis and Cruz coming in.

"Hey Lieutenant and Dawson," Cruz says to me and Gabby as he walks to his locker and begins to put his things away.

"Morning," I say turning my attention back to Gabby as she goes to her locker.

"Did you catch the game last night?" Cruz asks.

"No, I missed it I was working a couple of repair jobs."

"Oh, you missed a great game," Otis said with enthusiasm.

"I'll have to take your word on it," I say as I leave the locker room.

Gabby POV

I know that I was the one to say it was a mistake and it was, but some part of me thought I saw Matt flinch at my words, but now that he agreed it was nothing we both can move on and keep our friendship in tact.

"Dawson," I hear someone call out my name, I turn to look at Shay who seems to be annoyed with me.

"What?" I ask unsure what is going on.

"I have been trying to get your attention for last minute or so. Are you okay?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine I just have a lot on my mind," I tell her looking back down at the chart in my hands.

"Anything that I can help with? Is it Evan?"

"Yes," I partly lie hoping she can't tell. Evan was a large part of the complication. I felt so guilty when he came over that night and he told me he loved me. I wanted to tell him I loved him too, but after what happened between me and Matt early that evening I couldn't. Now that the air is cleared with Matt and I know that our relationship is one build on friendship, I feel like Evan and I can really make a go of it.

"And?" Shay asked waiting for me to continue as she sat across from me in the ambo.

"I think that I'm ready to tell Evan that I love him," I say with a smile.

"Really? That is great, but what made you realize that you were ready?"

"I have spent so much time waiting for this perfect idea or the ideal feeling that I thought I was suppose to have, but I was just being ridiculous. Love is not perfect and I know that now. I know that I care deeply for Evan and that when I'm with him I like who I am."

"What about Casey?"

"What about him?"

"Nothing, I just thought that you had feeling for him. Wasn't that the reason you went over to his place the day and found him?"

"Things change," I tell her quickly, too quickly. "I have changed, I have found someone that wants me and wants to build a life with me."

"Gabby, you know that I only want you to be happy and if that is with Evan then great, but I just don't want you to settle for something that feels safe."

"I'm not settling Shay," I insist doing my best to control my nerves.

"Then I'm happy for you," she says as she pulls me into a hug. From this moment on I chose to love Evan and focus on our relationship. I know that I'm fully ready to commit myself to him.

After shift I race home and decide to wait up for Evan, he should be getting off of shift soon. As I wait, I clean the apartment and practice my speech over and over again. Everything had to be right; I had been putting this off for far too long. I began straightening the pillows on the couch when Evan walked in. He looked tired, but was still able to have his hansom features shine through.

"Hey babe," he says as he closes the door and walks over to me. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him as he places a kiss on my lips. I close my eyes as I revel at his touch. "How was work?" he asked as he pulls back.

"I don't want to talk about work," I tell him as I look into his eyes. "I want to talk to about something else though."

"Okay," he replied with confusion.

"I know that you have been patient with me and for that it has made me realize how lucky I am to be with you. I want you to know that I care about you deeply and hate the days when I don't get to see you," I pause for a moment before I spoke again. "And that is because I love you."

A smile instantly fell onto his lips, "I love you too," he then kisses me hard on my lips.

I pull back a little, "there is more," I say looking into his eyes. He doesn't say anything, but nods his head to encourage me to continue.

"I was thinking that if you wanted to, you could move in with me."

Author's Note:

Don't kill me! I know that you are all waiting for Gabby and Casey to get together (and it will happen) it just is going to take some time (and patience!). I hope that you will continue to read this story because the pay off is going to be great. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, it really does make me write faster. As always, please tell me what you think.

Thanks,

Grace


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Matt POV

I didn't lie to Gabby, I made it clear that our friendship is the most things and it is. There was no way I would do anything to jeopardize losing her, she has become the person that I care about and I could never hurt her. I make a loud sigh as I move my attention over to the clock on the far wall. Everybody would be at Molly's in about an hour or so for a night of drinking and just hanging out. I clean myself up and get ready to see everyone, as I wipe my face I look at my reflection in the mirror, may be this is how it is suppose to be I tell myself. May be I already had my one shot at love and now this Evan guy was Gabby's.

Gabby POV

The smile that as been on my face since this morning as yet to disappear, I knew that Shay wanted to know what was up, since I could feel her eyes on me as I worked behind the bar.

"You look too damn happy over there," she said taking a drink of her beer.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask eyeing her as I pour another shot of the guy at the end of the bar.

"Nothing, but haven't shared your good news with me."

"Alright," I say leaning on to the counter. "I told Evan that I loved him," I say with a smile.

"That's great, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, but there is more. I asked Evan to move in with me."

"What did he say?"

"He said yes."

"Wow, that is… great," she as slowly.

I cross my arms as I watch her expression change, "what is it?"

"It's just that you weren't sure if you loved him two days ago and now you are ready to live with him."

My jaw twists as I listen to her words and annoyance runs through my body. I don't need to explain myself to her or anybody, for the first time in a long time I'm not going to over think things, I'm going to be happy and not let uncertainty cloud my judgment. "I need to go clear those tables," I say as I move away from her.

Matt POV

I take a seat at the bar as I wait for Otis to come and take my order. I look around the place to see everyone from firehouse 51, it was great that we all got together like the family we are.

"Is this seat taken?" a man ask me looking at the empty stool next to me.

"No, it's all your's," I tell him still waiting for Otis.

"Thanks man," he says as he takes a seat. "How long is the wait?" he asks looking around the bar.

"Not long," I tell him as he continues to search faces. "Are you looking for someone?"

"Yeah, my girlfriend she is supposed to be here," he says continuing his efforts. It then hits me like a ton of bricks, I have seen him before.

"You're Gabby's boyfriend, Evan right?" I ask hoping that I'm wrong.

"Yeah, Evan Grant. How do you know Gabby?"

"I'm Matt Casey, I work with Gabby at firehouse 51," I tell him unsure if he would know my name.

"Nice to meet you," he says putting his hand out to shake mine. "Gabby has told me a lot about you, it's finally good to put a name with a face."

"Nice to meet you too and I hope everything you heard is all good things," I add.

"Yeah everyone says what a nice guy you are, I was beginning to think that you didn't actually exist."

"Yeah, I have been out of town for a little while, but now I'm back."

"Where did you go?"

"I just took some time off to revaluate some things; I had to get my head clear."

"Oh, did it work?"

"You have no idea," I tell him thinking about where I was two months ago to where I am now.

Otis comes over shortly and gives Evan and me our beers. We continue to talk for a little while longer, both sharing stories from work.

"By now it will suck getting up even earlier for work," Evan stated taking a drink of his beer.

"Why is that?" Matt asked a little puzzled.

"Gabby didn't tell you?" he asked raising his eyebrow and then looking over at Gabby who was serving a couple of beers to some costumers. He then turned his attention back over to me, "Gabby and I are moving in together."

I could feel myself freeze as his words sunk in, I then looked over at Gabby as Evan continued on telling me about their plan, but the only thing I could focus on was Gabby. Her eyes meant mine and it felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me in the stomach. I knew that she was seeing him, but I didn't realize how serious it actually was. As bile in my stomach began to build up, I knew that I needed to get away. I took another drink of my beer and stood up from the hard stool.

"Evan it was great talking to you, but my friends are over there waiting for me," I say shaking his hand.

"Same here," he says as he releases my hand. I head over to the table with the guys sitting around, right now it was the best medicine I could ask for as Cruz hands me a shot.

Gabby POV

My eyes keep wandering over to where Casey and Evan have been seated. I had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach since the moment I spotted them talking. I didn't know what they were saying, but I knew from the look on Matt's face that whatever Evan just said involved me. Our eyes made contact and instantly he looked away, causing my heart to stop. I didn't know what to do or say, but before I could take a step closer to the two men, Casey stood up and shook Evan's hand. I followed him with my eyes as he took a seat between Mills and Severide and then I watched him down a shot from Cruz.

I turned my attention back to Evan, who smiled at me. I gave him a small smile and told him to give me one minute as I held up my pointer finger. I then grabbed a couple of beers and walked over to the table where my friends all stood.

"Here you guys go," I say setting the long necks down.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" I ask.

"I'll take a shot," Matt asked looking directly up at me.

I simply nodded my head without another word and got him what he asked for. He didn't say anything else to me, just thanked me for the shot when I returned. I knew that whatever he and Evan talked about must of pissed him off, so I decided to keep my distance from him the rest of the night to let him cool down.

A few hours later, I kissed Evan goodnight and told him that I would see him when I got home in a couple of hours. Shay and Severide left a few minutes behind him as the bar began to clear out, but as I looked over to the table full of fire fighters they were still going strong.

I knew that when Matt asked me for that first shot that tonight was going to be a long night. I watched him from the bar as him and the guys continued to drink and laugh. It was nice to everyone let lose, because it only ever happened once in a while.

Herrmann walked behind the bar and poured another round of shots, "don't you think you guys have had enough?" I ask watching him.

"Dawson when did you become my mother?" he asked looking over me with a smirk.

"I just don't want you guys drinking and driving," I say doing my best to try and reason with him.

"If it makes you happy, you can call us all a cab," he says setting down the bottle and carrying the shots back to the table. As soon as he got back to the group of fire fighters he past one to Cruz, Mills, Matt, and kept one for him. Each one of them slammed the shot back and began to laugh at one another.

I began to clean up the bar and collected the dirty glasses, there were too many to wash in little sink behind the bar, so I walked into the back room and set them in the washing sink. I looked for the washing rag near the sink, but it wasn't there so I turned around to get a clean one from the shelf behind me and that was when I felt a pair of lips on my own.

Matt POV

I lost count of how many drinks I had, but and when Herrmann brought over the last shot I knew that it would be my last one for the night. After we all down it as quick as possible my attention turned to Gabby over at the bar. I could see that she looked annoyed, but she kept busy. I watched as she went into the back room with the glasses and didn't come right back out for a little while. I turned my attention back to the guys who were talking and laughing, I then looked back at the door. Without moments more of thought, I was out of my seat and walking over to the closed door, I peered into the window to find Gabby's back was to me, even from this angle she was beautiful. I couldn't help myself, as she turned around I walked over to her and kissed her. I needed to show her how I felt; I needed to touch and her and taste her.

Gabby POV

This kiss was different then the one from a few days ago, this kiss held passion and was a lot rougher then the one before. Before I could realize what I was doing, my body responded to his. I parted my lips for him as he begged and pressed himself against me, I could feel a fog coming over me and I formed to him, but within seconds the haze began to disappear and I quickly jumped away from Matt.

"Matt," I say catching my breath, "What are you doing?" I could barley believe what was happening.

"I love you Gabby," he said moving closer to me almost stumbling over his own feet. "I love you and I want you."

"Your drunk," I point out as I cross my arms.

"No, for the first time I'm seeing clearly. I love you," he says again still coming closer.

I open my mouth, but before I could say anything, Matt tilts his head over to his side and begins to get sick.

Author's Note:

Hey guys, I meant to update yesterday, but there were a lot of things going on. So here is chapter 10, hope you like it and tell me what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Why would Matt do this? I ask myself for the millionth time since last night. We both agreed that we were friends, but now he tells me loves me, that he wants me. Friends don't do that.

"Why are you so quiet?" Evan asks as he squeezes my side as he walks past me.

"Just a lot on my mind," I answer him as I turn to face him.

"Anything I can help with?"

"Nothing I can't handle," I give him a small reassuring smile.

"Well if you change your mind, just say the word."

I don't reply, I stand there in the kitchen leaning against the counter just watching him pour a cup of coffee.

"So I meant your friend Casey," Evan says brining the mug to his mouth.

"Matt," I say quietly hoping saying his name won't give me and my emotions away.

"Yeah, he seems like a great guy."

"He is," I say wanting to look away from him, but I fight the need.

"He sounded a little surprised to hear that we are moving in together," Evan sets the mug on the counter then looks over at me.

"How did he find that out?" I ask with instant announce.

"I was telling him about work and how I was going to have to get up earlier. He asked why and I explained that it was because I would be living here with you. But why does it matter if he finds out?"

"It doesn't," I say quickly. I can see Evan's facial expression change into one full of questions.

"Have you told anyone?" he asks crossing his arms.

"Of course I have, I told Shay."

"Then I'll ask again, why does it matter if Matt knows?"

"It doesn't," I almost yell as I walk out of the kitchen and towards the front door. I lean down and begin to lace up my shoes.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to go for a run."

Evan takes a deep breath, "Why are you so afraid to talk to me? Why do you close yourself off?"

"I don't…" I pause for a moment letting his words fully weight on me. I knew by hearing his venerable questions that I couldn't lie to him. "I don't know," I simply reply looking down at my feet. We both are silent staring at one another. I couldn't stand there with him like this anymore; I don't say a word as I reach for the door and leave.

My feet hit the hard pavement as I move along the sidewalk. Evan's question about Matt circle my mind like a vulture looking for his next meal; I try my best to shake but it keeps coming back over and over again. And the more I thought about Matt knowing that I was moving in with Evan pissed me off even more. I wasn't mad at Evan for telling him, I'm mad at Matt for coming into the back room of Molly's after knowing everything and still deciding to tell me he loves me. The more I think about last night, the angrier I become. My speed increases with each passing thought and ounce of welling anger.

After twenty minutes lost in my own head, I look around to find myself on a very familiar street.

Matt POV

My head is pounding as I try to open my eyes to the morning light filling the once dim living room. I slowly lift my head off of the couch and my makeshift pillow made from my jacket. I look around the as I try to piece together last night events. I remember Molly's and meeting Gabby's boyfriend, I remember dinking with the guys, but that is where things get a little hazy.

I stand up feeling my stiff sore body move underneath me as I go into the kitchen and begin to make some coffee. I close my eyes as I take in the smell of the coffee and grab some aspirin for my head. Once the coffee maker is done, I grab my mug and pour a cup, but before I can actually take a drink a loud knock come from my door. I groan in frustration as I step out of the kitchen towards the impatient person at my door.

I swing the door open to find a very pissed off looking Gabriela Dawson at my door.

Gabby POV

Before I realized what I was doing it was already too late. There he stood holding the door open almost in shock that I stood on his porch.

"Gabby," he stammered. He then opened the door wider, "come in."

I hesitated a moment but then stepped into his apartment, "Thanks," I quietly say moving past him. I'm actually sure what I'm going to say, but I need to talk to him.

He closes the door, "What brings you by?"

Is he serious? I think as I stand before him, which only pisses me off even more. "You," I say narrowing my eyes at him.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I need to talk to you about last night."

"What about…" before he can finish his question a look in his eyes tells me that he has finally realized why I'm here.

Matt POV

My eyes widen as my memories of Gabby from last night come back to me. I remember watching her across the bar as she went into the back room of the Molly's. I remember thinking that if I could just kiss her one last time then I could get her out of my mind, but when I saw her, I knew that I was only lying to myself. There was no way I could ever not love her, so I kissed her.

"Gabby," I begin to say, but the expression on her face I stop and wait for her.

"We agreed that we were friends and that we would always be there for each other and I think I understand why you did that last night. You were afraid that I wouldn't be there for you anymore, but that is not true. I would never turn my back on you Matt."

"Gabby," I say again and this time I continue even as she looks at me with uncertainty in her eyes. "I didn't want to say anything, but something in me just snapped and I had to tell you the truth."

"So you meant what you said?" she asks folding her arms over herself.

"Yes, I meant every word."

"No, I don't believe you," she states looking more upset then before.

"I need you to listen," I start but I am quickly cut off by her.

"No you listen," she says raising her voice. "You wait to tell me you love me after you find out I'm with someone else. Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but I did and I have for a long time. I just didn't know how to show you or tell you, but now I'm not afraid now. I don't just want to be your friend," I rush out as I close the distance between us and I kiss her like I have never kissed anyone. I need to show her that everything I am is because of her in one kiss. Her lips quickly respond to mine and I feel her body relax against mine, but just as fast as it happened she pulled away and pushes me back.

Her eyes wide with tears, "You are most selfish human being."

Her words caught me off guard, but I knew that I had to fight for her, "only when it comes to you."

"Don't" she says collecting herself. "I would have given anything to hear these words months ago, but now I have moved on and I'm happy."

"Are you?" I ask knowing that she is lying to herself.

"I am."

"Then what are you doing here?" I ask hoping she would see reason.

She looks around hurt and upset, "I have no idea," and with that she walks out the door.

Watching Gabby leave, I feel like I forgot how to breathe, but I had to tell her the truth. I knew that everything would change between us and nothing would be the same again.

Gabby POV

As soon as I get out of Matt's house, the tears that I had been holding back are fully released. I actually hated him in this moment, I never thought it could be possible, but I did. I needed to get away from him and what he just told me. I ran and I ran until I couldn't run anymore, until I couldn't stand anymore.

When I got home an hour later, I saw Evan's car sitting outside of my house, I knew that I needed to talk to him. I slowly climbed the steps of the apartment and opened the door.

"Evan," I call out.

I find him sitting on the couch; he turns his attention away from the TV and to me.

"We need to talk," I tell him as I move closer to him. He doesn't say anything and lets me continue. "I'm sorry that you feel that I can't open up to you and you're right. I have a hard time showing my emotions or talking them out with other people."

He took my hand in my own, "What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm saying is that I do love you and I still want us to live together, but I think that we should find a place that is your's and mine."

Author's Note:

So all Matt's cards on are on the table and Gabby has no clue where her head is at. I hope that you will stick around to find out where this story goes and as always tell me what you think. Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Gabby POV

"I didn't know what to do. So I just ran, I ran away from him," I tell Shay with tears rolling down my face as we sit inside of my car parked in front of the fire station. "He had the nerve to ask if I was happy, can you believe that?"

"Oh sweetie Gabby," Shay said as she pulled her best friend into a hug.

"What am I going to do?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Well," Shay said pulling back and looking her in the eye, "the first thing you need to do it be honest with yourself and I know you are going to hate me after I say this, but you really need to think about what makes you happy. I know that you have had feeling for Casey for a long time, but I also know that since you have been with Evan, you seem free and carefree. But you are going to need to make a choice."

I can't hold Shay's gaze anymore, I need to look away as I tell her that I have already made a choice, "I did," I say quietly. "I am choosing to be with Evan."

"Now that you have made that choice, you need to let go the other go. But I do have one question for you."

I bite my lip and nod my head waiting for her to ask.

"Did you make your choice out of fear or love?"

"I am not afraid," I tell her almost appalled that she would even ask me that. I don't say anything more as I climb out of my car and walk up the drive, shay is behind me calling my name, but I don't turn around. I knew that I should have called in sick; today was going to be a horrible day.

Matt POV

I watch as Dawson comes in the garage as I sit at the table reading the paper, she looked directly at me and immediately turned down the hall. I knew that I blew things when she was at my place, I should have told her everything she wanted to hear, but I couldn't bear lying anymore. I'm in love with that girl and I know that she is with someone else, but I had to tell her.

I then notice Shay coming in; she stops when she sees me and then gives me a small smile. I should have known that Gabby would tell her, but by the look of both women, something wasn't right between them.

"Lieutenant," Cruz called from the across the room, I turned to look over at him.

"Otis and I were thinking about having a guy's night, you interested?"

"It sounds tempting, it really does but I think I'm going to pass."

"Oh come on, we'll play some poker and look at this way, you'll be able to take Mouch's money."

"I didn't say I was coming, I just asked what food you'll be serving," Mouch said from his spot on the couch.

"I'll think about it," I say hoping it was convincing enough to get him off my back; the last thing I wanted to do was sit around playing cards. I went back to reading my paper, hoping that no one knew that I wasn't actually reading the print; my mind was focused on how to avoid Gabby.

Gabby POV

I have managed to stay in the sleeping quarter when we haven't been on runs. I needed to keep my distance from Matt. Every time I saw him, instant anger would course through me. I sigh to myself as I lay back on my bed, my eyes glued to the ceiling, thinking about what was I going to do now. Each time my mind would go there an instant headache would throb at the base of my head, I close my eyes ready to fight it off. Within moments the bells ring, causing me to quickly pull myself off of the bed and towards the door. As I rush down the hallway, my body collides with another.

"I'm sorry," I say as I look up into the blue eyes that I know so well.

"It's fine," Matt tells me as we both rush into the garage.

Matt POV

I do my best to remain focused on the accident we are about to rush into, I can see traffic as completely stopped as we park on the truck near the three cars that are involved. One car is flipped completely over, another is off the road and into the ditch, and third car is completely smashed into a telephone pole.

We climb out of the truck, "Well take the car over there," I point to the one that nailed the telephone pole. "Cruz and Mills, you're with me. Hermann, Mouch, and Otis check on the victims in the other cars," I direct as I rush over in the direction of the mangled vehicle.

Once we get over there, we notice that the driver is unresponsive, I check for a pulse to find that he has one, but it is weak. "We need a medic," I report over the channel. "Mills go get the jaws," I order as I take in the scene. What seemed like five seconds, Dawson is there with a jump bag and a yellow back board.

"It's going to take a second to get him out," I tell her waiting for Mills. She doesn't say anything as she goes over to the man and wraps a C-collar around his neck. Mills begins to cut open the top of the car, Cruz and I slowly remove him from the car, we do our best to be slow as possible.

Gabby springs into action as she gets a line into the guy, "Alright guys we got to move if this guy is going to live," she says grabbing the jump bag as we lift the guy as fast as we can. We load the man onto the gurney and then lift him into the ambulance, I watch as Gabby climbs in after him. I close the back doors and watch as they race off towards the hospital.

Gabby POV

Shay and I have hardly spoken since this morning; I honestly wasn't upset with her just a little embarrassed because she was right. I didn't know the real reason I had made my choice and that was the hardest part of this all.

"Can we pretend like our conversation didn't happen this morning?" Shay asks driving the rig down the street, just a few blocks from the station.

"What conversation?" I ask looking over at her.

We both knew that it would be brought up later, but right now wasn't the time to really hash out the feelings. "So are you going to spend the whole shift hiding?"

"I haven't been hiding," I say looking out the window, "I have had a headache all day, so I have been resting," I inform her.

"Okay," she states pulling the ambo into our normal spot. We both jump out at the same time and make our way into the station. "I'm going to go get some aspirin," I tell her as I walk down the hall and into the locker room. I grab the bottle out of my locker and pop a couple of pills, hoping that the pain and tension will go away. I close the door and turn to leave, but when I look up I see Matt standing a few feet away from me.

"You got a minute?" he asks me looking from his feet to me

"Do you really want me answer that?" I ask as I fold my arms over my chest

He doesn't seem phased by my demeanor, "So this is how it's going to be?"

I feel my body change my stance and arms instantly drop to my side, "Don't you dare put this on me, you were the one that had to go and ruin everything. I was doing fine..." before I could finish my sentence the alarms sounded calling us to a warehouse fire. I moved past Matt and made my way towards the waiting vehicle.

Matt POV

We cleared the back of the warehouse like Chief ordered and began to get out of the hot blaze. As we walked across the floor towards the stairway, I felt the floor move underneath my boots; I looked up at my men, who felt it too. "Move!" I yell to them as we run towards the stable ground, but before I could reach it, the floor gives out. I feel myself fall and there is nothing I can do. I close my eyes before I hit the ground and the only image that crosses my mind is Gabby. I see Gabby laughing with her hair down as she stands back behind the bar. I see Gabby with her eyes full of life as she found the door at the salvage yard. I see the look of pain of in her eyes the night I kissed her. I see her in all the ways I love her and then I see nothing.

Gabby POV

"Casey's down," Hermann's voice calls over the speaker. My heart instantly stops beating as the words ring in my head. "I repeat Casey's down."

"I'm going in," Severide says throwing his tank back on with Capp and Houston right behind him.

I watch as they rush in, but as stand there panic surges through my body. I pace the street, just waiting for them to come out. After want seems like hours, I see a group emerge from the smoke carrying Casey. I rush over to them with the gurney, they place an unresponsive Matt on the bed and Shay and I begin to assess his injuries. The whole time I'm trying to keep it together, we move him into the ambulance and drive as fast as we can to the hospital. The whole ride I'm checking his vitals trying to keep him stable, but everything I'm doing isn't enough.

When we arrive at the hospital, the doctors and nurses help unload him, I explain his injuries and his blood pressure, but before I can say anything else, they rush him down the hall. They take him away from me.

Author's note:

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, you guys are amazing! I don't do this often but I want to give a huge thank you to Yellowsunshinegirl, Jscat2, SueA, KacieFigary, Becca, Sweetashby, Justicerocks, Goldistic, and Country-chick-20 you guys are awesome and I hope you liked the chapter. I would also like to say that there are so many great Dawsey stories on this site and if you are one of those talented authors that entertain us with your story, will you please update? The lack of updates are killing me and I keep checking my emails to see if there are any updates.

Thanks


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

Gabby POV

I never thought it was possible to feel so lost and empty, until now. I lean against the wall refusing to sit down; I just need to know what is going on. The nurse told us about two hours ago that they had taken Matt into emergency surgery for internal bleeding, collapsed lung and a brain bleed. During that time, everyone went back to do change out and get their vehicles. Shay told me that she would get my car for me and bring it up here. I couldn't talk, I simply nodded my head in agreement.

I needed him to be okay, I needed to tell him that I was sorry for telling him that he was selfish and that he had ruined everything, none of it was true. I needed to tell him so many things, but if he never woke up then he would never know.

"How are you doing?" Shay asked standing next to me once she came back with everyone else who took a seat in the waiting area.

I look at her with tears in my eyes, "he has to be okay," I tell her almost breaking down.

"He will be," she said pulling me into a hug.

"Family of Matthew Casey," A doctor said as he stood in front of us.

"That is us," Chief said standing up from his seat.

"Mr. Casey made it through surgery, but because of all the brain swelling from his head injury we had to place him in an educed coma to allow it to heal. We are hoping to know more in the next twenty-four hours. As of right now we are only allowing immediate family." We all sit in silence as the doctor walks away; no one knows what to do.

It wasn't long before Matt's sister came running through the door. She thanked everyone and was then guided down the hallway by a nurse to Matt's room. My heart sank as I watched her, I wanted to be the one to see Matt, but it wasn't my place.

"I know that everyone wants to be here for Casey," Chief said as he turned and faced the members of 51. "But Casey wouldn't want you to wait here like his. Everyone needs to go home tonight and rest. We need to be ready for when Casey needs us." At first no one moved, but as the Chief's word began to sink in everyone slowly got up and began to leave.

"Do you want us to take you home?" Severide asked as he came to stand by me and Shay.

"No, I'm okay to drive," I tell him as he puts an arm around Shay.

"Come on, we will walk you out," Shay states.

I can only nod my head as I follow them towards the front door. The only thing that I can think about it seeing Matt's face during our last conversation, I had hurt him with my words, words that didn't mean anything. I wish that I could take them back, but now I may never get the chance.

"Dawson," Severide said my name and placed a hand on my arm, "he is going to fine."

"I know," I tell him with a small smile, hoping that he believed me. I go to grab my cell phone as we continue to walk towards the cars; I see mine parked next to Kelly's. As I reach into my pocket, my cell phone is there but I couldn't leave here without seeing Matt.

"I left my cell phone inside," I lie.

"I'll go with you and get it," Shay said beginning to turn around to go back inside of the hospital.

"No," I tell her quickly. "You guys go home; it was only take me a second to get it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright," Shay says as she pulls me into a hug, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," I tell her and then I turn to Kelly and give him a quick wave. I slowly walked back into the hospital, not knowing what I was doing exactly, but I knew that I needed to see him. I walked over to the nurses station, "excuse me, could you tell me what room Matthew Casey is in?" I asked.

"I'm sorry but at this time only immediate family is allowed to see him."

"I understand, but," I paused for a moment almost choking on my own words, "I'm his girlfriend, I just need to see him to make sure he is okay."

The nurses eyes soften at my words, "Okay," she says inhaling air. "I can only give you about five minutes."

"Thank you, it means a lot."

"Okay, follow me," she says as she gets up from the desk and leads me down the same hallway Christi was lead down earlier. We turn down another long hallway and then stop in front of a closed door. "Remember five minutes," she says opening the door.

"Thank you," I tell her again as I walk through to find Matt lying in bed with his eyes closed, I looked around the room, but his sister was gone. She must have stepped out for a moment. I slowly make my way to his bed and just look at his hansom face. Tears begin to trickle down my cheeks as I take his hand in my own.

"I don't know if you can hear me," I tell him wiping my tears away with my free hand, "I'm sorry Matt for everything that I said; I didn't mean it, any of it." I pause for a moment trying to collect my thoughts, but I knew that I needed to be honest with the two people in room, him and myself. "I honestly thought that I had moved on from you, but when you came back all those feeling I had came back to and it scared me. It made me realize that you were the one person in this world that could hurt me the most and so I pushed you away. I tired to make myself believe that I was happy, until you told me that loved me and even after that I tried to fight like hell to believe that I was, but you saw through that." More tears came down my face, "I need you to come back to me, so I can tell you that I love you," I say as I kiss his cheek.

"I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave now," the nurse said as she came into the door. I wiped my face and looked at Matt one last time. I thanked her as we walked back towards the nurse's station; my heart broke a little more with each step I took away from him. By the time I got to my car, I broke down into sobs. I couldn't believe how much time I wasted and how I hurt Matt. I thought about the hurtful things I said to him. How could he ever forgive me? I asked myself.

When I get home, I notice that the lights are on in the apartment, I take a deep breath as I move forward towards the door. There was one more thing I had to do and I knew it was going to be the hardest.

I open the door and walked into the apartment, "Evan," I call out.

"I'm in the bathroom," I hear his voice with the water running and second later he walks out. He smiles at me as he moves closer and places a kiss on my lips.

"How was your day?" he asks taking my hand and guiding me to the couch.

"That is what I need to talk to you about," I tell him as I turn my body so I'm facing him. "We went out a call today, just a normal warehouse fire, but something happened," I watch as Evan straightens his back. "Casey and his men were sweeping the floors, when the floors collapse. Everyone was able to make to safety, expect Casey," Tears now burned my eyes at even the thought of my next words, but I had to get through this. "He fell through and now he is in the hospital, he had to have emergency surgery and was placed in educed coma to help with swelling of the brain."

"I'm so sorry," he says pulling me into a hug, "you should have called me."

I pulled back from his warm embrace with tears still running down my face, "There is more," I tell him looking into his eyes. "Before you and I meant, I had feelings for him for a long time and then he left and I meant you. Evan I care about you so much and I really want to go further with you, but when Matt came back so did all my feeling for him."

"I see," Evan stated as he looked away from me. "That was the reason you were upset when I told him about us living together and why you couldn't say you loved me."

"Yes and no," I tell him running my hand through my hair. "That night at the bar something happened with Matt.

Evan stood up from the couch, "So you cheated on me and then you came home and told me that you love me?"

"No it wasn't like that," I tell him standing up. "I didn't cheat on you, I just realized that had feeling for both of you that night and scared the hell out of me."

"What are you saying Gabriela?"

"I'm saying that I care about you both and I never meant for any of this to happen, but it did and I'm so sorry."

"Me too, but that doesn't answer my question. What do you want?"

I close my eyes doing my best to say these words, "I'm in love with Matt and I can't change it no matter how hard I try."

"So I was just your stand in?" he asks with a look of disbelief.

"No," I say moving towards, but he stepped back.

"Well Gabby, I hope you and Matt are happy together," he says as he walks towards the door and grabs his jacket and then leaves.

I stand there alone in my living room, knowing that I had to tell the truth no matter the outcome. I knew that Matt would probably never forgive me or want to see me again, but I couldn't hide behind my relationship with Evan anymore.

Author's Note:

Thank you for all the wonderful words of encouragement and I'm so happy to see that you all are reading this story. Well it has been a long time coming for this part of the story, so I hope you will all stick around to see what happens with Matt and Gabby. I promise to have some twist and turns along the way. Anyways I hope you all have a great day and please review if you can.

Thank you,

Grace


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Gabby POV

I watch the people throughout the street as I stand here in my living room; I can't bring my self to move from this spot. These people continue to move on with their day, not knowing that the person I love most in this world is fighting for his life. I wish I could share in their world of ignorant bliss. I hear my phone ring from the kitchen table, but I make no effort to get it. I know that it is Shay or Kelly calling me for the millionth time, but I can't speak to anyone right now, I can't explain to them that I don't want to be reason Matt doesn't wake up.

After Evan left the other day, I thought about what I would say to Matt, but then I thought about all the horrible things I said to him and how angry he must be at me and that he might not want to see me. I knew that I had no business being in that room, I didn't deserve to be next to him the moment his eyes opened, he needed to be with people that he loved and trusted and that wasn't me.

The phone fell silent, almost allowing me to breathe again, but as I began to move away from the window a loud pounding came from the other side of my door. "Dawson I know you're in there," Shay's voice called to me.

I close my eyes hoping that she will go away, but the pounding continues with Shay yelling. I sigh as I make my way to the door and unlock it, I open to find Shay standing there with her hands placed at on her hips and look of concern and frustration written across her face.

"What haven't you picked up your phone?" She asked with a tone mixed with many emotions.

"Come in," I say side stepping to allow her access to my apartment.

She walks into the room and begins to look around; her eyes stretch the room taking in the makeshift bed on the couch. "Where is Evan?"

"He isn't here," I reply closing the door, I don't turn around to face her, "we broke up," I say clearing my throat as I am able to finally face her.

I can her face drop a little, "I'm sorry," she says trying to gage what happened through my reaction. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say moving towards the couch starting to clean up the blankets and pillows from my slumber last night.

"Have you been up to the hospital?" Shay asked knowing that it was better for her to change the subject.

I shake my head no as I continue to fold the blanket, not making eye contact with her.

"The doctors are allowing visitors, but he is still not awake. Severide went up there this morning; I was thinking that you and I could go up there after your shower."

"I'm not going," I tell her not stopping my actions.

"What?" Shay asked completely stunned by my statement.

"I'm not going to the hospital," I tell her grabbing the blanket and pillow in my arms. I walk out of the room and into the short hallway to put the items away. When I came back, Shay had her arms folded over her chest with a pissed off look on her face now.

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"Just drop it Shay," I tell her running my hands over my face.

"No," she insists. "How can you sit here when you friend is hanging on by a thread?"

"You don't think I know that he could die?" I shout as I feel my face become warm and my vision began to blur because of the tears building up. "That is why I'm staying away," I mumble trying my best to control myself.

"He needs you Gabby and I think you need him too," Shay voice softens

"He needs to wake up with people that he loves and cares about, not someone that he can barely look at."

"You're a chicken shit Gabriela Dawson," Shay states as looks at her best friend. "I know that you love Casey and that is why you and Evan broke up, but hiding away as he sits in that hospital bed isn't going to change things between the two of you. You need to get your ass out of this house and go be by him."

Tears are now running down my face, "Shay I'm afraid that if he knows I'm there he won't want to wake up. Don't you see that I'm doing this for him? I'm staying away because I love him?"

"What your saying does not make any sense, and I hope you realize that before it is too late," Shay tells me as she moves toward the door. "When you come to your sense, I'll be at the hospital," and with that she left me alone in my apartment.

I didn't know what to do as I stood there with Shay's words circling through my head. I knew that to anyone else I didn't sound reasonable, but no one else saw how I treated Matt and the words I said. I couldn't face him, I was a chicken shit. The wiped away the falling tears with the back of my hand as I walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and popped the top as I took a drink of the cold liquid. I set the glass bottle down when I spotted a pile of mail laying on the table. Evan must have brought in the mail from yesterday. I flipped through the mail, when something addressed to me caught my eye. I recognized the hand writing, but my suspensions were confirmed when I saw Matt's name as the sender. My heart rate increased just looking at this envelope in my hand. I quickly turned it around and opened the letter. My eyes began to tears with a new set of tears as I read his hand written words.

_Gabby,_

_There are moments in life when everything changes and things become clearer. The moment I meant you, things began to change and I didn't even know it, I just knew that you were someone special. Over time you became that voice in my head always pushing me to do better, to be better. I know now the reason for all of this, Gabby I love you. I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out, but I do, I'm completely in love with you. I just needed you to know that everything I said I meant it. When you're ready to talk, I will be too._

_Love,_

_Matt_

I stared at his letter for a few more minutes as I wiped away my tears again. I knew that I needed him, but after reading this I realized that he needed me. I set the letter down and then ran back into my bedroom. I needed to see him, I needed to be there when his blue eyes opened and I needed to tell him that I loved him too and that he was the voice in my head.

Once I was dressed, I grabbed my keys and jacket and opened my front door. Shock took hold of me as came face to face with Kelly. His eyes were red and puffy; I had never seen him like this.

"Gabby he's…"

Author's note: Hey guys I hope that you enjoyed the update. I am really sorry that I haven't updated in the last couple of days, things have been really busy and they will be for the next couple of days. I am making some life altering decisions and won't have much time for the next couple of days to update on a routine basis, but I will try very hard to update when I can. This should only last for about a week and once the decisions have been made, I will share the news with you all. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read my story.

Grace


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Gabby POV

My heart stops beating when I took in his appearance, I knew that he was here because there is something wrong with Matt. I hang onto his every word, waiting for the fall out waiting for the ground to be ripped out from me. Everything seems to move slowly as we drive to the hospital, tears endlessly streaming down my face as I look out the window. Severide and I don't speak; neither knows what to say to the other.

Severide parks the car in the closest spot to the front doors of the building. I don't think the as fully stopped before my door swings open and my feet hit the ground. Before I can comprehend what I'm doing, I rush past the doors and towards the stairs; the elevator takes to long, it takes time away from him.

I hear Kelly right behind me as I climb two steps at a time. Once I reach the right floor, I open the door and rush down the hallway. I don't slow down as people stare at me; I just need to get to him. When I spot his room number, what is left of my heart stops everything around freezes. I reach for the cold hard handle of the door and slowly push it open. I take a step into the room to find Christy and Nancy, Matt's mom, on each side of the bed. They both turn to face me with wet streaks of tears present on their tried faces. I move further into the room and take in the sight of Matt laying there; tears burn my eyes instantly as my eyes meet his.

Matt POV

I listen as my mom and sister tell me what the doctors had said and how they thought I might not make it. I can see the pain in their eyes as they exchange looks, I do my best to comfort them and reassure both of them I'm going to be fine.

I can hear the door open and small footsteps making their way closer to us. Mom and Christy turn to see who is standing in the room, as the person moves closer I finally realize who it is, Gabby.

My heart breaks as I meet her brown eyes, she looks completely at odds with herself but yet relived. She doesn't move or make a sound; she just looks at me with an expression that reads she is in disbelief.

"Mom and Christy, would you guys mind giving us a minute?" I ask never breaking eye contact with Gabby.

"Sure thing honey," Mom says as she and Christy stand up. "We are going to go to the cafeteria and grab something to eat," she smiles as she beings to make her out of the room, but before she leaves the room she turns to Gabby, "It's nice to see you again."

"You too," Gabby quietly returns the gesture as she looks to my mother and gives her a small smile.

Once I hear the door close, Gabby looks back at me. I can tell by her expression that she doesn't know what to say, this is the first time I have ever seen her lost for words.

I go to open my mouth to say something, but I'm quickly silenced by Gabby's voice. "How are you feeling?" she asks nervously moving a little closer to my right side.

"I'm sore and have a headache," I reply watching her.

She simply nods her head as she looks at her hands and then up at me, I see tears glisten her brown eyes.

"Hey, I'm going to be fine," I tell her trying my best to down play my injuries.

"I know," she replied, "but seeing you almost at the brink of death, really shook me up. I didn't, we didn't know if you were going to make it and it scared the shit out of me. I should have been here when you opened your eyes, but I …"

I quickly cut Gabby off, "It doesn't matter," I tell her, "because you're here now."

"I'm here because of this," Gabby held up an envelope from her back pocket.

"You got my letter."

"I did," she says as she nods her head and then she cleared her throat, "Your letter is what brought me here. After the accident, I realized how much I cared about you and how I needed you in my life. I even came here to tell you that, but after I saw you I realized that I had no right to expect you to feel the same way after how I treated you and how you must have hated me. So I stayed away, until I found this," she said still holding the letter in her hand.

"Gabby, I could never hate you," I tell her as I grab her wrist and pull her to me. I use my other hand to reach up and pull her lips down to mine. I kissed her with as much passion as I could; I needed to show here that my feeling had not changed and that I still loved her. She quickly responded to me with a loan moan escaping from her prefect mouth. When air became an issue, Gabby pulled back with her eyes looking into mine.

"Matt I'm in love with you," Gabby said clearly and with certainty in her beautiful voice.

"I love you too," I tell her as I move a piece of fallen hair out of her face.

Gabby POV

"I love you too," Matt said as he moved a piece of hair out of my face. I feel my chest tighten at his words. I had been waiting so long for him to say that to me, I never thought it would actually happen. "I want you to know that every word I said and every word I wrote, I meant it."

As Matt spoke, I could see how tried he was from the day. "We can talk about this more, after you get some rest."

"I want to talk about this now," Matt said as he let out a yawn.

I didn't say anything as I stood up and walked over to the other side of the room.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to grab the chair over here and move it closer to the bed and sit right here while you nap."

"I thought we were going to talk."

"We will after."

Matt put his hands up in surrender, "Alright, I can see this is one of many battles I'm not going to win."

I smile at his antics as I get comfortable in the chair, it doesn't take long for Matt to fall a sleep. I watch him as he breaths, it makes me feel whole being here with him and knowing that we both are on the same page.

Author's Note

Sorry the updates are not coming along as quick as we would all like, but I promise to get back on track by the end of this week. I hope that you liked the update. Thanks again for all of you that read/review my story.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Matt POV

These last couple of days has been a mixture of good and bad, I just can't wait to get home and be left alone. The hospital staff has been wonderful, but there is only so much a guy can take. I look over at Gabby who is a sleep in the chair next to my bed; I can't help but smile as I take in her beautiful features. I told her a million times to go home and get some sleep, but she insisted that she wasn't tried and that I was making a big deal over nothing. I could see the moment she walked that whatever happened on shifted really wore her out.

As if on cue her eyes flutter open, I watch as she takes in her surrounding and then looks over at me. "What time is it?"

"About one," I say with a smile as her eyes widen.

"What didn't you wake me?"

"Because you were tried and you needed to sleep."

"Not that long," She replied getting up from the chair and stretched her arms in the air. "Did the doctor see you?"

"Yeah, he stopped by about an hour or go."

"And?"

"He said that everything looks good and that I should be out of here by tomorrow."

"Matt that is wonderful news," she said sitting down on the bed. I took her hand in my own and began to play with her fingers. "He said that I should have someone at home to help change the bandages and make sure that I have help. So I was wondering how you would feel playing nurse maid?"

A shy smile spread across her face as she slowly leans into me, "Are there perks this job?"

"I'm sure we could work something out," I tell her before I close the gap with my lips. I feel her arms warp around my neck, drawing me closer to her. As our lips began to battle for control, I could feel myself getting excited and my hands begin to roam her body.

Gabby was the first to part from the kiss, she rested her forehead against my own, "Keep this up and they will never let you leave the hospital," she smirks as she pecks my lips.

"I guess I better behave."

Gabby laughs sitting back up, but keeping her eyes on me, I watch as her facial expression changes into something more serious.

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't stop thinking about how everything has changed. I honestly thought you and I would never get to this point, but here we are. It just makes me sad to think about all the time we have wasted."

"Hey," I said taking her hand and squeezing it briefly, "It doesn't matter how long it took us to get here, the only thing that matters is the fact that we are here together."

"Yeah," she nods her head with a small smile as she squeezes my hand back.

"And look at it this way, now you get to give me sponge bathes," I wriggled my eyebrows.

"Baby," Gabby leaned down to me, my eyes drifted to her full lips. "That is what they have home nurses for." She laughed as she took in my expression.

"Gabriela Dawson you do not play fair, I'll get you back."

"I'm sure you will," she replied with laughter still in her voice.

"It sounds like someone is having a good time in here," Severide says as he walks into the room.

"Yeah, I was just telling Gabby what comes around goes around," I smirk moving my eyes from her to him.

"That doesn't sound good for you Dawson," Severide said walking over to the other side of my bed.

"Alright, I can see this is going to be a gang up on Gabby time, so I'm going to excuse myself now, but I will be back in a few," She said as she set her feet down on the ground and then leaned back down to kiss my lips.

"I'm going to run home and take a shower. Do you want me to bring anything for you?"

"No, I'm good," I tell her as I close the distance for a short kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied with one last kiss and left the room.

Gabby POV

After taking my shower, I got dressed and began picking the place up a little bit. Since Matt had woken up, I haven't spent much time here. I small amount of guilt quickly builds as I move around the place and saw pieces of Evan here. I hated how I hurt him, but I had to be honest with myself and him. I knew that sooner or later, I would need to call him and find a time to return his stuff, but part of me didn't know if I could look him in the eye.

I am quickly pulled out of thoughts when my phone rings; I rush towards the coffee table where I placed it last. "Hello," I say as I bring the phone to my ear.

"Hello Gabby, this is Nancy, Matt's mom, I was wondering if you were at the hospital?"

"I'm actually at my place right now. Is everything okay? Is Matt okay?" Panic begins to race through me.

"No everything is fine, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if I could ask you for a favor?"

"Sure," I say trying to collect myself.

"I was wondering if you could take me to the hospital. My roommate has to work and Christy has to take violet to her ballet lesson."

"Sure, no problem. I can pick you up in about thirty minutes."

She gave me the address to her apartment and thanked me for doing this. I knew that Matt and his mom had been working on their relationship since she had been released. I quickly finished cleaning up the apartment and grabbed my coat and purse.

I made the short drive to Matt's mom place, when I pulled up to the curb she was already waiting outside for me. I clicked the button to unlock the door as she moved toward the car.

"Thank you so much for doing this," she said as she buckled herself into the seat.

"Not a problem, I'm glad that I could help out." I put the car into gear and begin to drive to Lakeshore.

"So are things going with you?" she asked.

"Things are going great. Work is keeping me busy and when I'm not there I have been with Matt at the hospital."

"How long have you and Matt been dating?"

"Not long," I reply not sure how to actually answer this question, because we have not actually gone out on a date.

"Well I knew the moment I saw you two together, that you two cared about each other. I think Matt is a very lucky man."

I blush at her words, "thank you, that is very sweet of you to say." We both fall silent for a moment and I can tell that she doesn't know what to say to me, "I don't know if you have plans for Friday night, but I was thinking that if wanted to, you could come over to Matt's place for dinner."

"I would like that very much."

"Great."

We chatted the rest of way to the hospital and became more comfortable with each other. She told me what Matt was like when he was kid and how he always used to annoy his older sister. I laugh thinking that much really hasn't changed, he still loves to play pranks on people, but he also has the same kind heart he has always had.

When we walked into Matt's room, he looked confused to see both of us together.

"Hey baby," he says as I walk over to his bed and give him a light kiss on my lips, I go to move, but his arm wraps around my waist keeping me in my place. "What are you ladies up to?"

"Nothing," Nancy replies moving to the other side of him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Gabby was nice enough to pick me up and bring me here."

Matt then looks over at me before he speaks again, "Yeah, Gabby is super nice." I roll my eyes at his words.

The rest of the evening we sat together in Matt's room and ordered dinner. It wasn't long before Christy came up to see Matt and take Nancy back home. We all said goodbye as the two of them left. I walked them out of the room and both of them gave me a hug. I smiled as I walked back into the room.

"Come over here," Matt said as he patted his bed. My smile grew as I did as he asked. I took a seat on his bed. "Lay down with me." I turned so that my body was pressed against him and I rested my head against his chest.

"Thank you," he mumbled against my head.

"For what?"

"For brining her here today, it really meant a lot."

"It was no big deal."

"Yes it was."

"Honestly, I think she wanted to make sure that I was good enough for her son," I say with a chuckle as I lift my head from his chest and look at him in the eye.

"Did she learn that her son isn't good enough for you, but he plans to work on that every day to prove he is?"

"He doesn't need to prove anything, because I love him," I say kissing him.

Author's note:

So things are still a little crazy but manageable, so I plan to get back to my normal updates and hope that you like this story. I had some time to sit down and figure out where this story is going and I must tell you that I love it! I think you are going to be surprised, upset, happy, and everything in between. I look forward to your reviews and hope you take the time to tell me what you think.

Thank you,

Grace


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Matt POV

My eyes flutter open as the morning light pours through the cracks in the drawn shades. It takes me a moment to realize I'm home in my own bed, a smile small plays on my face as I stretch my arms in complete relaxation. I haven't slept this well in a long time and that is only one reason for that and she is laying right next to me fast a sleep.

When I was finally released from the hospital yesterday, it was already late afternoon. Gabby had stayed with me to help get me settled and then we order take out from the pizza place down the street. As we ate and watched a movie, I could feel myself begin to drain from the business and excitement of the day. I tried to hide how tried I was, but Gabby saw right through me, like she always does. She simply suggested that I should go to bed and I agreed with her, but only if she came with me. She protested and said that she would sleep on the couch while I slept in the bed. After much debate, I finally convinced her that we both would sleep better if we were both in a bed, I could tell that I had won her over by the expression on her face.

She didn't say anything else and she helped me up from the couch and we both walked into the bedroom. It was like we had been doing this for years; she climbed into one side and got in on the other. Then as if on instinct our bodies reached out for one another, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she laid her head against my chest. I remember thinking that this was how life was suppose to be and that was the last thought I had before sleep consumed me.

"Matt," Gabby's soft morning voice called out to me. My eyes connect with her's and I can see she is completely content as much as I am. "How did you sleep?"

I couldn't hide this goofy smile on my face as I answered her question, "that was the best nights sleep I have had in a long time. How about you?"

"Same here," she said as she brought her lips to mine. As our kiss continued to grow and our hands began to explore one another's body, Gabby's stomach made a loud rumble. I chuckled separating our lips but not our bodies, "I think someone is hungry."

"Just a little, but I can wait."

"That is not going to happen," I reply as I slowly lift myself up from the bed.

"Matt," Gabby almost shouted as she jumped out of her spot and quickly moved around the bed to help me up. "You are going to hurt yourself."

"Babe, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. Now," I said getting to my feet, "what would you like for breakfast?"

"Aren't I supposed to be taking care of you?" She asked cocking one eyebrow in my direction.

"Well how do you think I'm going to repay you?" beginning to walk towards the door.

"Oh I could think of a few ways," she replies causing me to stop in my tracks and turning to look at her. There is nothing I wouldn't give right now to take her up on this offer.

"But I need you healthy first, so you're going to have to repay me once you are all healed," she smiles with a teasing look on her face.

"I plan on it," I say as I turn back around and begin to heads toward the kitchen.

Gabby POV

After spending fifteen minutes or so convincing Matt that I should be the one making breakfast, he finally gave in. I decided that French toast would be a good choice for our morning meal. I quickly whisked the eggs and milk as Matt watched from the little table in the kitchen.

"You know I can help you," he said directly.

"I got this," I tell him dipping the bread into the mix and then putting onto the skillet. "Besides I'm afraid that you might burn it," I add.

"Please Gabby, I can cook."

"Mac and Cheese out of a box doesn't count," I tease turning around to look at him.

"Ouch, babe that hurts," Matt holds his hand to chest as he fakes hurt. I laugh at his little stunt.

Once I was done making the French toast, we set the table and ate the meal. I couldn't believe how many pieces Matt ate, but I knew by the fifth one that he was full. I slightly laughed as he took the last few bites.

"And I thought that I was the hungry one?" I said taking mine and his empty plates into the kitchen.

"I guess I didn't realize how hungry I really was," he said slowly getting up from the table and moving himself to the couch.

"I'm going to take a shower real quick and then I need to go over to my place to grab a few things," I tell him as I walk back into his view.

"I'll go with you," he says looking over at me.

"To my apartment or the shower?"

"Both," he replied with a devilish smile and wriggle of his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes at him, but couldn't help but blush, "As soon as the doctor says you're in the clear, I will shower with you every day, but until then separate showers."

"I'm taking you up on that."

I give him a wink as I turn and walk down the short hallway and into the bathroom.

Matt POV

I listen as Gabby turns the shower on, I never realized how quite my house as been with just me in it. I love having her here; it really makes this a home. Without another thought or before reason can really set in, I'm on my feet and walking towards the closed bathroom door. As I get closer, I can hear singing coming from the other side. I instantly smile as I open the door.

"Gabby," I call out as the steam smacks me in the face.

"What's wrong?" Gabby asks poking her head out of the shower curtain. Water drips down her face and her dark cling to her exposed skin. I don't answer because I'm so caught up her beauty. "Matt?" she calls out.

"I love you," I say as I move towards her and touch her wet face and then I kiss her.

"I love you too," she says not sure what is going on.

"That is good," I say with a smile, "because the next thing I'm going to say might sound crazy. Gabby, this morning waking up next to you and just being with you, made me realize that this place is just not a home unless you have someone to share it with. I want to have a home, I want to smell you on my pillow, I want to see your clothes hanging from the back of the chairs, and I just want you everyday."

"What are you saying?" she asks needing to hear the actually words.

"I'm saying that I want us to live together."

Author's note: Hello everyone, I hope that you are having a wonderful day and that everyone has some great plans for the weekend. Thank you for all the reviews and for the people that are reading this story.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Gabby POV

I stand in the bathroom in front of the sink as I brush my teeth. Today was Matt's doctor's appointment and they would tell us if he could return to work. I was trying my best not to show Matt my nervousness, but as the time closed in around the appointment, the knots in my stomach began to make themselves known. Watching and helping him over the last week, I knew that he was healing and most likely the doctor would tell him that he would be fine.

"Babe," Matt called from the living room, "have you seen my keys?"

I take the tooth brush out of my mouth and set into the running water, "I think you left them on the desk in the spare bedroom," I say as I continue to brush my teeth.

A moment later, Matt pops his head into the bathroom, "Thank you babe, I knew there was a reason I keep you around."

"Is that the only reason?" I putting my toothbrush in the holder and turning to face him.

"Not the only reason, you look really hot in those jeans," he smirked as he ran his eyes over my body.

A shiver ran up my spine as I watched him, "Well if the doctor says that everything is good, I'll show you what's under these jeans."

"You could show me right now," Matt places his hand on my hips and draws me to him. His lips begin to attack mine, which I don't mind in the least. I quickly respond by parting my mouth for him as I wrap my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. Matt backs me up to the sink and then I feel his hands lower to my backside and lift me up so that I'm sitting on the counter. His lips begin to travel down my neck as I moan in pleasure.

"Matt," I sputter out trying to keep my eyes open.

"Uh?" he responses tracing my skin under my shirt.

"We need to get going," I let out another moan before I can finish the sentence.

Matt chuckles against my skin as he pulls back and then places light kiss on my lips, "We were so close."

I roll my eyes at him, "I promise that once the doctor says that your as good as new, we will get back to this."

"So it's a good thing that you're moving in with me, because after this week we are not allowed to leave the bed."

I laugh at his comment, "Well I guess we should go then."

Mat nods his head and steps back, so that I can hop down from the counter. I follow him out of the bathroom and towards the front door. We both put our jackets on and leave our apartment. As we make our way to the truck, I reach out and take Matt's hand, "I want you to know that no matter what happen from here on out, we are in this together and I have never been as happy as I am now."

"I feel the same," he replies with a look of confusion on his face.

"I just wanted you to know. Now that I did, let's go see the doctor," I take his arm and pull him towards the truck.

Matt POV

I sit on table waiting for the doctor to come back, every time I take in a deep breathe I hear the white paper crinkle beneath me. I look over at Gabby who is watching me, but she isn't saying anything. I know that she is waiting for me to the be the one to speak, but right now I need to think about what my options are if the doctor tells me that my career is over. Sure, I could construction but it wouldn't be enough and now that Gabby and I are living together, I don't want my problems to become hers. The door opens up again as the doctor walks back into the room; I'm quickly pulled out of my thoughts.

"Sorry about that," he says looking over my chart. "From what I can see here and based on the results of your test, everything looks great and we can reinstate you to full active duty by the end of the week. But you still are going to need to take it easy as you're getting back in the swing of things and don't over do it."

I nod my head as I try to process what he is saying, but as if on cue Gabby speaks up, "I'll make sure that he takes it easy." I look over at her with a smile on my face and back at the doctor.

"You are free to go, unless you have any questions for me."

"No," I say standing up, "Thank you for everything."

"I didn't do anything; you were the one that got better."

I look over at Gabby, "Yeah I did," taking her hand as we walk out of the room. I check out of the office and then climb into the driver side of the truck.

"So I was thinking" Gabby stated as she buckled herself into the seat, "that we could stop by 51 to see everyone and share the good news. I know that everyone would be happy to see you."

"That's a great idea," I tell her putting the truck into gear, "I needed to speak with Chief anyways."

"I was also thinking that we could stop by my apartment to get some of my things."

"I thought you did that yesterday?"

"I did, but I forgot to grab a couple of things and in all honesty if I'm going to be moving in with you, then I should probably start packing."

"Speaking of that, I want us to find a place together something that gives us equal playing field and enough closet space for you. What do you think?"

"I say that we start looking tomorrow," She smiles at me as I rest my hand on her knee. I knew that our relationship was moving fast, but we had known each other for a long time and hide our feeling for way too long. There was no way I was going to let go of her.

We made the short drive to the fire house, I stopped and paused as I took in the view from the driveway. I loved my job and I loved my family here at 51, it just amazed me how close we have all become in the years we have worked together.

The bells sounded as Gabby and I crossed through the open garage door, "Officer on deck," rang through the place as everyone came out to greet me. I didn't think that I would missing all their ugly mugs, but I did.

"Lieutenant," Hermann was the first one to greet him with a hug, "Glad to see you on your feet. How are you feeling?"

"Good, great actually," I reply.

"Yeah we have been after Dawson for all the details on your recovery," Mouch added.

"Well we got some good news today. The doctor just cleared me for work, so I should be back next shift."

"That's great," Hermann smiled.

"We are glad to have you back, because the replacement is kind of a dick," Mills smiled at the last part of his sentence.

"Really, I'm standing right here," Hermann turned to him with a look of disbelief.

"Casey," Chief hollered from the double doors, I turn to look at him as he waves me over. I nod my head as begin to walk over to him and follow him into his office.

"How are you feeling?"

"I fine, and the doctor said that I'm ready to come back to work."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Chief, I wouldn't be standing here if I wasn't. There is no one way Gabby would have let me out of the house if I wasn't."

He smiled at my words, "Well we'll be glad to have you back next shift. Just rest up the next couple of days and I'm sure it will be like riding a bike."

Gabby POV

"So what do you need to grab?" Matt asks parking in front of my building.

"I just need to grab a couple of tops, shoes, and few other little things."

We both get out and climb up the steps to my apartment. Matt rests his hand on my lower back as I unlock the front door to the building. I can feel Matt lean into to me and place light kisses on the back of my neck. I began to fumble with my keys.

"Are you having trouble?" he asked with a knowing in his voice.

"I'm fine," I tell him doing my best not to give into him.

"Are you sure?" he asks running his hand down my arm.

I turn around to face him, "You are horrible, you know that?"

"I have waited a long time for you Gabby; I don't want to wait anymore."

Before I can respond to him, I see a familiar face over his shoulder, "Evan," I said causing Matt to turn around to come face to face with my ex-boyfriend.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Gabby POV

"Evan," I said causing Matt to turn around to come face to face with my ex-boyfriend. I stood there just looking at his uncomfortable face, as I could feel my face drain. I step around Matt so that I can talk to Evan. "Hi," I say quietly unsure of what else to do. "How have you been?"

"We don't have to do this," he says motioning his hand between us. "We don't need to make small talk to try and cover up how awkward this all is," he states as his eyes move between me and Matt.

I nod my head, because I understand the meaning of his words all to well. I decide to cut the crap and go straight for it, "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to get my things. I know I should have called, but I was already in the neighborhood. I can see this is a bad idea, I'll come back, he says stepping down of the stair.

"No," I say moving down one causing him to stop. "Come on in, we should do this now."

"Okay."

I turn around to see Matt looking down at his feet as he moves to the far side of the porch to make room for Evan. Our eyes meet and I can see the guilty expression on his face that matches my own. I unlock the door and hold it open for the next person to come in, when I turn around to see Evan first and then Matt. None of us say anything as we go to the white door of my apartment, I quickly unlock it.

"I already put your things in a couple of boxes, if you want you can wait here and I'll go get it," I say turning to face him before I entered the apartment.

"That would be fine," he replies with a slight agreement. Matt doesn't make an effort to come in; he stands out in the hallway unsure of what he should do. I set my purse down and couch and go the bedroom.

Matt POV

Since the moment Evan arrived at Gabby's, I could feel the tension in her body a mile away. I knew that she didn't like the fact she hurt someone and neither did I. I wanted to tell him I didn't plan for any of this to happen, but I knew that's not what he needed to hear right now. He just needed to get through this with as much dignity as he could.

We both stood outside of Gabby's apartment, both looking anywhere but each other. I knew that he hated me, and I couldn't blame him in the least.

Evan broke the silence first, "I always knew there was something that she wasn't telling me about you. Every time we would go out to Molly's everyone would talk about the great Matt Casey, but Gabby would change the subject or make an excuse to leave the table. I should have known."

I clear my throat and meet his eyes, "We all should have known. I'm sorry for how this all went down."

"You're sorry for stealing my girlfriend?" he says raising his eyebrow.

"I'm not sorry for being with Gabby, but I am for how it happened."

Evan's mouth open to say something, but quickly closed when Gabby made it back carrying two boxes. "I think that is everything," She says handing them over to him. He sets them down as he takes out his keys and begins to remove a key from the ring.

"I don't think I'll need this anymore," he said to Gabby giving her the silver metal.

"Evan," her hand closed, "I meant what I said before."

"I know," he replied picking up the boxes. "And so did I." With his words floating through the air he leaves and Gabby and I stand there and stare at one another. I can see the tears begin to flow down her face and I instantly wrap her into my arms.

Gabby POV

Matt guides me into the apartment and we sit on the couch together as he holds me. We don't speak as we sit there in the silence, both of us feeling guilty for the pain we caused someone else. Matt rubs my back and places a light kiss on the top of my head.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" he mumbles against my hair.

I take in a deep breath and wipe the tears away, "I'm not proud of what I have done. I am a horrible person."

"Gabby, you are the furthest thing from horrible; you are the kindest, most giving person I know."

"You're just saying that to try and make me feel better."

"Baby, I know that you feel guilty and so do I, but we didn't mean to hurt anybody and I'm not sorry were together. So there is no way I'm going to let you be little yourself.

I move my head so that we are looking at each other and I place both of my hands on the sides of his face, "I don't regret us and I never will. I love you," I say kissing him. I then pull back, "let me grab a couple of my things and we can get going."

"Okay," Matt says as I get up from the couch and walk into my bedroom.

Matt POV

The ride back to the apartment was almost silent; I knew that Gabby was lost in her own thoughts. She kept looking out the window and every now and then she let out a sigh. I reached out and placed my hand on her knee, letting her know that when was ready to talk I would be ready to listen.

I placed the truck into park and looked at Gabby, "Where home."

She turns to me, "What did you say?"

"I said we're home."

She then looks around to verify what I just said, "Oh," she replies getting out of the truck. I follow her lead and go towards the front steps and go inside. Gabby sets her things down and goes straight into the kitchen, I hear the fridge open and then close. Gabby returns with two beers in her hand.

"I grabbed you one," She says as she hands it over to me.

"Thank you," I tell her as I pop the top off and then I take a huge drink. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," She says as she places her beer on the table. She then moves towards me, placing her hands on my waist. She then leans up and begins to trail light kisses up my neck and along my jaw line. I close my eyes as I relish in the pleasure of her contact.

"Gabby," I moan out trying to stay in control of my actions.

"Matt," she says before reaching my lips with her own. "I know what you're going to say and this has nothing to do with what happen today, that was just bad timing. We have waited so long for this and now that you're healthy, I don't want to wait anymore."

I didn't need anymore of an explanation; I lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom.

Author's Note:

Hello lovely readers, I hope everyone is having a great weekend and you enjoyed reading this chapter! I thought that I would post again today and may be a little later tonight!


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Gabby POV

I lean against the metal counter waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, my mind replays the last twenty-four hours, and I can't help the goofy grin that crosses my face.

"Someone is a good mood," Shay notices as she bumps me with her hip causing me to jar to the opposite side.

"Yeah, I am."

"Does this have anything to do with a certain lieutenant?"

"Possibly," I smirk glancing over at her.

Her mouth drops, "Oh god, you guys had sex!" She shouts loudly causing everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at the two of us. Instant heat begins to cover my face and my eyes grow wide as I stare at Shay and then look around the room. My eyes catch Matt sitting at the head of the long table with a look of amusement on his face as he pretends to read the newspaper.

I narrow my eyes at him and then turn back to an excited Shay, who is waiting for all the details. "I'm going to stock the rig," I announce walking out of the common room hearing the guys trying to muffle their laughter at my reaction.

"Was it something I said?" Shay calls out causing all the guys to lose it. I don't even turn around to address her, my embarrassment quickly turned into anger as I approached the ambulance. I climb in the back and began taking count of our supplies.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked from the open doors.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say writing down the count number, I then set the clipboard down next to me, "No I'm not fine, that just really pissed me off."

"I can tell," Matt held up his hands in a defensive motion.

"Sorry, I just want this to stay between us."

"Me too," Matt climbs into the rig and sits next to me, "but to be honest, I think everyone already knew. You see I have had this smile on my face all day."

"Funny, that has been me too," I kiss him quickly on the lips.

"Well after you're done in here, I'll need to see you in my office," he smirks and cocks his eyebrow.

"Am I in trouble?"

"Definitely," he teases as his lips graze mine. I loop my under his chin to the other side of his face as my mouth parts for him. He rests his hand on my knee and begins to slowly move it up my leg.

"Matt," I say his name with so much want, "We can't do this here."

He stops his hand and rests his forehead against mine, "You're right," he then lightly kisses my forehead and climbs out of the ambo. "I'll see you in about a half-hour."

I smile and give him a wink; I knew that everyone already knew what was going on between Matt and I we both could barely contain ourselves. Still, I didn't like having my business broadcast to everyone and their mother. I forced myself back to work and began counting lines where I left off.

Matt POV

I have always been able to focus on work when I am here, but as I sit in my office trying to fill out this paper work; my mind keeps wondering to the burnet that I'm in love with. Memories from last night cloud my head, instead of filling the information in on the lines; I see the lines of her body. I see her face as she is in throws of pleasure, I shake my head trying refocus on the task at hand, but nothing can compete with her.

"Casey," I hear from the other side of the door. I look through the glass I see Severide standing there, waiting for my cue to let him know it is okay to come in. I wave him in as I set my pen down on the desk.

"What's up?" I ask him unsure of what he needs.

"I just wanted to come in and see how everything is going."

"Everything is going fine, just filling out these damn incident reports."

"I hear ya. So I was thinking that we could all get together tomorrow night."

"Sure that sounds good, I'll talk with Gabby."

Severide chuckled, "You guys are already at that stage."

I smile, there is no use in lying to him, "I guess we are."

Gabby POV

I sit in the passenger seat of the ambulance as Shay drives us back from our run from Lakeshore. Our ride has been silent, I know that my overreaction to her question earlier today was just that an overreaction. I take in a deep breath and turn to face her.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I overacted and shouldn't have."

"No, I'm sorry that I told the whole house your business. It's just that I'm so excited for you and Casey."

"I know you are and I don't think the whole house knows," I smile.

"They know now," Shay points out as she turns into the drive for 51.

We get out of the ambulance and walk through the garage, squad members are comfortable seated at their table playing cards. Otis and Hermann are checking the oxygen tanks as we walk past. None of their eyes look our direction, which signals one thing to me, Shay was right the whole house knows. I knew that if I didn't draw attention to it, it would just go away and everyone would move on.

"I'm starving," I mumble to Shay opening the door and walking through. "Are there any frozen fruit bars left?"

"There should be," she replies taking a seat next to Cruz, Mouch, and Mills.

I walk straight to the freezer in search of the delicious desert. I find the box the moment I open the door and greeted with a gust of cold air, a smile comes to my face as I reach for the box, but my happiness is short lived when I find the contents are no longer there.

"What the hell?" I shout closing the door and throwing away the empty box. "Who ate all the damn fruit bars and then doesn't throw away the box?" I look around the room to see all eyes on me. No one dare speaks, "Never mind," I throw my hands up and walk out of the room.

"Is Dawson PMSing?" Cruz asks loud enough for me to hear. I turn on my heels to go back in and give him a piece of my mind, but his words stop me and I freeze in a state of panic. _When was my last period?_

Author's Note:

WOOHOOO Chapter 20! I planned on updating earlier today, but I had an interview and then I spent the day shopping with my sister and niece (sorry, but that trumps writing). Anyways, I am counting down to season three of Chicago Fire (I think all this waiting is going to kill me!) and know many of you are too! In honor of our favorite show's return, I have started a new story of how I think season three is going to go. I hope to have it up in the next week or two and I hope that you will like it.

Thanks,

Grace


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty- One

Gabby POV

_This can't be happening,_ I tell myself as count back to when my last period was. I lean against the hard cold wall in isolation of the bathroom stall. Tears threaten to fall as I realize not only am I late, but I'm late by three weeks. I freeze as I close my eyes, _what the hell am I going to do?_

"Dawson, you in there?" Shay asked as I saw her feet approach my closed stall.

I quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, "Yeah, I'll be out in a second," I choke out to her trying to get myself presentable. I hear her feet move away, I take in a couple of deep breaths and then flush the toilet. I need to get through the day, so as I open the door I fake a smile, hoping that it will create a mask.

"Hey have you had a chance to talk to Casey?" She asked leaning against the blank counter top.

I almost breakdown at the mention of his name, but I keep my eyes glued to the floor. I know that if I look her in the eye she is going to know something is wrong. I walk straight to the sink and I hurriedly shove my hands under the warm water shaking my head no.

"Well Severide and I were wondering if you guys would want to do something tomorrow night."

"Oh," I say never taking my eyes off of my hands, as if they were the most interesting thing in the room.

"We could go out to Molly's, salsa dancing, or just hang out and watch movies. I'm up for anything."

"That sounds good," I say quietly swallowing down the lump in my throat. I can feel Shay's on me as I avoid her gaze.

"Enough," she says letting out a breath of air I didn't even know she was holding back. "What is going on with you? This morning you were happy as can be, then you went straight into bitch mode with me and the whole Popsicle thing, and now you look like someone whose dog just died."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I begin to say, but I can tell by the look on her face that she is no mood to be lied to and whether I care to admit it or not, I can't keep this buried up inside of me.

"Shay I didn't want any of this happen," I rush out as tears streamed down my face and I pace around the room. "I didn't plan for it."

"Didn't plan for what?" She asks setting both hands on my shoulders holding me still and causing me to face her.

"A baby!" I shout with a sob. "I didn't plan for a baby."

"Gabby, you just had sex with Matt for the first time, there is no way…" her voice trails off when she realizes what the biggest issue is. Her eyes grow wide and her mouth stops moving.

"It's not Matt's," I say before Shay can pull me into a hug. She begins to rub my back, "everything is going to be okay."

I can't respond to her, as I my knees go weak and my best friend holds me up. I knew that the words she was telling me were for comfort, not facts. How would everything be okay, when I am possibly carrying another man's child?

"After shift, we will stop over at the store and pick up a pregnancy test. You can tell Casey that I need help with something, okay?"

I just nod my head.

Matt POV

Between running drills and being out on calls, shift kept me very busy. Gabby and I never got to meet in my office like we planned; I wasn't sure if it was because of how many calls she was on today or if she was avoiding me. The times that I did see her, she had this far away look in her eye and she seemed distracted.

I walked around the corner of the garage to find her waiting by my truck with her bag over her shoulder. Her stare was directed at her shoes and a solemn look covered her face. My chest tightened as I came closer to her, she didn't even seem to notice how close to her I was.

"Hey," I say quietly as I kiss her lightly on the lips.

"Hey," she replied giving me a small smile. "Shay asked me to help her out with something this morning, it should only take about an hour and then she will drop me back off at your place."

"Is everything alright?" I ask with concern laced in my voice.

"Yeah, everything is fine."

"Okay, I'll see you at home," I lean down and give her a kiss on the lips, she doesn't respond right away, but after a second or so, I feel her lips move against mine. She pulls away slowly; I open my eyes to see her shuffling to the side.

I stand there for a second as I watch her move to over to where Shay was waiting. I didn't want to push Gabby, but I knew there was something she wasn't telling me. I sighed as I climbed into my truck and drove home alone.

Gabby POV

"Are you ready?" Shay asks pulling the test out of the brown bag as we sat in the living room of her apartment.

"No," I reply honestly. "I'm taking a test to find out if I'm carrying my ex-boyfriend's baby, while my current boyfriend is waiting for me at home," I take in a deep breath and reach over to take the box out of Shay's hand. I stare at the box knowing that in a few minutes I would know how my life would change forever. Bile rose to my throat from the pit of my stomach as I stood up from the couch and made my way into the bathroom.

I followed the directions and now it was a waiting game, Shay and I stood in the doorway of the bathroom silent. I knew she didn't know what to say to me and honestly I didn't know what I wanted to hear. I never was aware of the sound of my own breath until those three minutes of waiting. Finally, my alarm sounded off on my phone causing my whole body jump at the annoying sound. A rush of anxiety coursed through my veins as I moved slowly towards the pregnancy test. My oxygen supply caught in my chest as I lifted the test to my line of sight.

Tears immediately made their selves known as the stick fell from my hand and a sob came from the back of my throat. I begin to feel myself fall the floor, but was caught by a pair of arms.

"It's going to be okay," Shay soothed me as I cried in her arms. I cried for the mess I created, the people I hurt, and I cried for Matt.

Matt POV

I woke up when I heard the door open; I lifted my head from the couch to see Gabby standing there. Her eyes were puffy and her skin was pale, I have never seen her like this. I quickly got to my feet and walked over to her. My hands went to the sides of her face and I place a kiss on her full lips.

"Talk to me," I coax her. Her eyes fall from me to the ground and from under her eyelashes; I see a set of tears fall down her face. My heart sinks to the ground as I watch her like this.

"Matt I need to tell you something," she said in a broken voice as she places her hands over mine and removes them from her face.

"You can tell me anything," I tell her knowing that right now she needed space. I forced myself to stay where I was.

"This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do," Gabby paced looking anywhere but at me. She took in a deep breath and stopped her movements, "Matt I love you, I have never felt this way about anyone."

"I know, I feel the same way about you," my eyebrows furrow together not sure where this is going.

"I want you to know that, before I tell you and I want you to know that whatever you decide I will not think any less of you."

"Tell me what?"

"Matt I'm so sorry, I didn't know this was going to happen," she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Gabby," I begin to say.

"I'm pregnant," she sobs harder.

"You're pregnant?" I asked with a smile, a twinge of excitement rushes through me, but it was short lived when I looked at the tears running down Gabby's face. I realize now what she is trying to say. "It's not mine is it?"

"No," She shakes her head.

I feel all the air leave the room and everything starts to spin. I need to get out of here, I need fresh air. I mumble something to Gabby as I grab my keys and walk out. I hear her cry harder, but I can't comfort her right now, I need to be alone.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading this story, hope you don't hate me too much. I would also like to say thank you for everyone who has reviewed this story, you are awesome! Have a great day!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Gabby POV

There are no words to describe the amount of pain I felt when I saw him walk out the door. I knew that it was a possibility, but having it actually happened broke me. I couldn't stop him and beg him to understand, this was too much for anyone to take. I stand there in his living room alone and gasping for air, it seemed like there wasn't enough. I reached out for the edge of the chair to hold me up as my mind raced to the fact that Matt and I were done and I was alone.

Matt POV

I didn't know where I was going and honestly I really didn't care. I just needed to get away. Everything I thought I would have with Gabby has been washed away, I knew she didn't do this on purpose, but it still hurt. I always thought that when she would become a mother I would be the father. I wipe away a tear that has fallen as I continue to walk.

I find an empty park bench over looking Lake Michigan; I try to think what my life will be like without Gabby. My chest tightens in sharp pain as I think about missing her smiles, her touches, just everything about her. Then I think back to all the times that Gabby was there for me when I needed her the most. She never let me down; she always knew what to say or what to do even if it hurt her.

I always thought I saw pangs of guilt or hurt cross her face when Hallie and I would go out with everyone and she would see us together. But just as fast as I thought she was in pain, it quickly went away and smile was placed on her face. I honestly thought, I was imagining that expression, but it wasn't that long ago she told me the truth. I asked her why she was always there when Hallie and I fought or after the many breakups? She replied that when you love someone, you love them so much that the only happiness that matters is theirs.

_I'm and idiot_, I tell myself as I stand and begin to race back to my apartment.

Gabby POV

I grab my bag off of the floor and wrap my jacket over my arm. I can't bare to have Matt ask me to leave and see the look of hurt in his blue eyes, so I decided that I'll do it myself. As I open the door to the night air, a new set of tears sting my eyes and roll down my face, I make no attempt to wipe them away.

I shut the heavy door behind me and make my way towards my parked car. Before I drive away, I take one last look at the building, everything we ever wanted is now gone and I couldn't be anymore sorry then I am now. I pull away from the curb not looking back afraid that if I do I won't be able to give Matt what he wants.

Matt POV

I take two steps at as I climb the stairs leading into my apartment. Once I reach the front door, I notice that is locked. I take out my keys and hurry to get in as fast as I can.

"Gabby!" I yell as my eyes move around the living room in search of her, but it is empty. I continue to call her name as I move throughout the rest of the apartment to find it in same condition as the living room. I then move into the bedroom, to find all the drawers are open and the clothes that were once neatly placed inside of them is now empty. In panic I open the closet door, to find all Gabby's things gone.

_What have I done?_ I ask myself as I close my eyes, hoping that what is in front of me is a lie and when I open my eyes, everything is where it should be. I open my eyes a second later and she is still gone. I run my hands through my hair and with so much force and anger at my self I punch the closet door. "I'm so stupid," I say loud knowing that I pushed Gabby to leave. When she told me about being pregnant, I should have pulled her into my arms and told her that I love her and we will face this together, but instead I left her.

I reach into my back pocket and take out my cell phone and dial her number. I wait for the phone to ring, but it doesn't. It goes straight to voicemail. I debate to leave her a message, but I know that what I have to say to her needs to be said in person. I hang up the phone and begin to call Shay.

"Shay have you talked to Gabby?" I ask in hopes that she was at Shay's place.

"Not since this morning," Shay said. "What happened?"

"We had a disagreement," I tell her unsure of what else to say.

Shay is quiet for a second, "She told you didn't she?"

"Yeah," I say in shame of how I reacted.

"What happened Casey?"

"She told me and walked out…" before I could explain more Shay's voice roared over the phone.

"You did what?" Shay yelled.

"I left her, I needed to think and when I cam back to the apartment she was gone. All of her things were packed. Shay, I need her," I begin to tell her as I break down; "I don't work without her. I need to tell her that this doesn't change anything for us, I love her."

"Casey, I haven't spoken to her or seen her. I'll try calling her and talk to her."

"I already tried, but her phone is turned off."

"Okay, we'll find her. I'll call over to Antonio and see if she is there. Why don't you go to her place?"

"Thanks Shay," I begin to say but she cuts me off.

"One more thing, you do something like this again and I will help Gabby dig a hole for your body."

I thank Shay again and try not to laugh at her last comment, knowing that she was speaking the truth. I then grab my truck keys, I need to find her and tell her that I'm sorry and that I want her no matter what.

Gabby POV

"Ms. Dawson, here are your keys to room 221. The elevators are right around the corner and if you need anything, please let us know." 

"Thank you," I tell the red headed woman behind the desk of the hotel. I lift my bag from the floor and follow the woman's directions to the elevator. I step into the clean elevator and feel the small jolt lifting me the second floor. Once it reached its destination, the elevator stopped, and I got out in search of my hotel room. I quickly found and slid the key into the slot and pushed the door open. As soon as I stepped into the room, I set my bag down and went straight to the bed and collapsed and began to sob into the pillows.

Author's note:

Thank you for reading and I hoped you like it. I wanted to say WOW to all of you who reviewed the last chapter and to the people the emailed me, I didn't think that I would get a response like that! I want you all to know that you are all amazing and I love that this story has so much interest and I'm glad you all feel a connection. THANK YOU!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Matt POV

Every time I heard footsteps on the hard pavement, I lifted my head from my hands in hopes that it would be Gabby, but every time I did that I only found disappointment. I knew that I only had myself to blame. I lost track of time as I sat there, thinking about how things could have been so different, if I would have just told Gabby that I love her and we would get through this. Now here I am waiting her for going out of my mind in worry. I start to think about all the things that could go wrong and where she might be, I try to shake off these horrible images that are present in my thoughts, but they keep circling like a vulture for its prey.

As I am lost in my thoughts, the vibrations from my phone pull me back into the real world, I pull out my phone and look at the caller ID, my heart begins to race as I press call and place the phone to my ear.

"Shay, did you find her?" I ask with hope in my voice.

"No, I have looked everywhere that I can think. She hasn't come home yet?"

"No, I have been sitting here for hours and there has been no sign of her. I am really starting to worry about her."

"May be you should call Antonio and see if he can find her?" Shay suggests.

I think about it a moment, "Yeah, I'll give him a call and thanks Shay," I tell her hoping she understands that I am truly grateful for everything she has done.

"You're welcome and when you find Gabby will you please let me know."

"I will," I promise her and then I say goodbye. I hit the end call button my phone and then go back through my contacts to call Antonio. It doesn't take long for him to answer the phone and I can tell by the sound in his voice he isn't in one of the greatest moods. I explain the situation to him and then I share my concerns about the fact Gabby is missing and Shay and I could not find her.

"She probably is with a friend right now," he tells me. "But I will look into it and call you after I have some information."

I thank him and then place my phone back in my pocket, I glance around to see the street and sidewalks are almost empty. I take in a deep breath and run my hands through my hair; this night has already been one of the longest of my life.

Gabby POV

My head is pounding from all the crying that I have done. I close my eyes as I burry my face further into the pillows at the top of the bed. I just want the pain to go away, I just wait it to stop hurting, I just want to be able to breathe without feeling this agony. Another tear slips down and soaks the pillow case, but the pounding is becoming stronger and this time I hear my name.

I slowly lift my head and look around the empty room, I go to lie back down but I hear the knock again and my name. I recognize the voice and freeze, _what is he doing here?_ I ask myself as I stand from the bed. I slowly make my way towards the door, debating if I should answer it, but I know him so well. If I don't answer the door then he will just keep knocking until someone calls the cops, I smile at the thought of that.

My hand reaches out for the brass handle and pulls the heavy door towards me. My eyes make contact with his and we both stand there for a moment, either one of us moving. I can see that he is searching for some hint to as how I am doing, but my body is so numb that I don't even realize that I have began crying again, until his arms around me.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay," he sooths me, "I got you little sister."

I don't answer Antonio as we stand in the door way of my hotel room, I just stand there and cry in his arms. I feel him lead me into the room and set me down on the bed, so that my feet are dangling over the edge.

"How did you find me?" I ask as he sits next to me and I wipe my tears with the back of my hand.

"I'm a cop, give me some credit."

"That will teach me to pay with cash next time," I say understanding now how he found me. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to see how you are doing and how I can help."

"I'm a mess," I tell him. "I had a great thing with Matt and now it's done."

"I don't believe that," he says wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "I think that both of you are in shock right now and just need some time to really think about what you want. He loves you Gabby and I know you love him, so what are you doing here?"

"He walked out," I tell him.

"I know,"

"You know?" I ask out lout as the realization dawns on me that he has talked to Matt. I stand up from the bed and begin to pace the floor, "When did you talk to him?"

"I talked to him about an hour ago."

"Does he know that I'm here?" I ask stopping in my place and looking over at the door.

"No, I came here to talk to you first."

"I don't want him to know that I'm here," I tell him looking back at my brother.

"Gabby, the guy has been worried about you all night…"

I quickly cut him off, "I know and you can tell him that you found me and I'm okay. I just need tonight alone to figure out what my next step is going to be and I want him to really think about what kind of life he wants."

"I get what you're saying, but he wants you."

"That is what he says now, but will he really want me in six months when I'm bigger then a damn house carrying another man's child? Will he really want me or want to stick around in three years after co-parenting with Evan? These are things I want him to think about first."

"Are you sure about this?" he asks standing from the bed and giving me a hug.

"I am," I reply with nod, knowing that no matter how bad this pain feels, I am doing the right thing.

I watch as Antonio leaves and I take in a deep breath, knowing that tomorrow I will see Matt and we will have to talk about all of this.

Author's note:

I know this chapter is a little shorter then all my other ones, but I wanted to give you guys an update tonight. The next chapter Matt and Gabby are going to have a serious talk about what this all means to their relationship. I also wanted to let you know that with summer coming to a close, my schedule is changing. So that means the updates are not going to be as steady as I would like, but I will try my best to update when I can. My goal is finish this story in the next few weeks, so I can start on the next. I also wanted to say I was soooooo excited to see all the new chapters in your stories! I love reading everyone's story and I hope that you will find time to update. Thanks everyone!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

Gabby POV

The drive to work was a lot shorter then I hoped for. I wanted some time to really think about what I was going to say when I say Matt since I told him that I was pregnant. Even the thought of that conversation and look of hurt in his eyes, brings instant tears to my tears and turns my stomach into knots. I can't blame him for walking out; I don't know if I would be able to get past that if the shoe was on the other foot.

I pull my car along side the curb and slowly unbuckle my seatbelt as I look around for his truck. I hold my breath as my eyes scan the street, but I feel like I can breathe again when I don't find it. I quickly climb out of my car and grab my brown leather bag from the passenger seat. I shut my door and begin to make my way up the drive as fast as I can without running. I realize that I will be seeing him today, and I should have formulated some thought about what I planned on saying to him, but being here on neutral playing ground through me completely off.

I keep my head down as I walk through the garage and head into the locker room. Once I'm in the safety of isolation, I stop in front of my locker as begin changing out. I get on my black work pants, and then remove my shirt. As I look down at my stomach, I notice a slight puffiness to my normal appearance. I place my hand over it; it seems to curve into the palm of my hand. I am lost in my thought when I hear someone's foot steps from the doorway. I immediately remove my hand and reach for my shirt as I make eye contact with the blue eyes I know so well.

Matt POV

I shifted the truck into to my park and pull the keys from the ignition; my eyes are glued to the dark colored vehicle parked across the street from mine. My heart races in my chest and before I can think of anything else, I'm out of my truck with my duffle bag in my hand moving towards the brick building. Since my conversation last night with Antonio, the only thing I have been able to think about is Gabby. The memory fills my entire being as I take each step closer.

_I look around the bedroom that I share with Gabby, but nothing is the same as it was when she was here. All the drawers are pulled out from the dresser, empty and cold. I didn't know what I should do. Should I watch TV or drink beer to numb this pain? But before I can even make a decision, I hear my phone ring in my pocket. I'm too quick to answer it, not even checking the caller I.D._

"_Gabby," I rush out in hopes that it is here on the other line._

"_Matt," I hear the familiar male voice of the other Dawson. _

"_Antonio," I say his name with disappointment, but realizes that he must be calling about her. "Did you find her?" I ask._

"_I did," Antonio states._

_Excitement fills me completely, "Where is she? Is she coming home?"_

_I hear Antonio sigh before he answers, "I spoke to her and tried my best to get her to talk to you, but she says that you both need time to sort through your feelings. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear and I'm sorry, but you know how stubborn Gabby is when she has her mind made up. I just wanted to let you know that she is safe."_

_I know that Antonio can't see me, but I nod my head in understanding. "I just need her to know that I love her and nothing is ever going to change that."_

"_She knows you do, she just is a little lost."_

"_And that is why I need to be there with her," I try again._

"_Matt, I promised her and I have never broken my word before and I don't plan on starting now."_

_I have to smile at Antonio's words, "Always the big brother," I mumble knowing that no matter what I said he was going to bend. "Is she okay?"_

"_She will be."_

I am brought back from my thoughts when I reach the door to the locker room; I open the door knowingly that Gabby is just a few yards away. I walk through and stop in my tracks when I see her. She is standing next to her locker in her bra, her hand resting over her stomach and her eyes glued to her mid section. I watch in amazement, I had never seen anything so beautiful in life. I slowly take a step closer towards her, but as my foot comes down on the hard ground, Gabby removes her hand and rushes to put her shirt on. Then the moment is gone and her brown eyes are locked on to mine.

We both stare at each other a moment before speaking, I can tell she has so many emotions running through her body, I just want to pull her to me and tell her everything is going to be okay, but the look in her eyes tells me she is unsure of me.

I know I need to be the one to break the silence that rest between us, "can we talk?"

"I don't think right now is the best time," Gabby says looking around the room.

"Let's go to my office," I reply knowing that she was referring to the fact that anyone could walk in. I take her hand in mine and lead us out of the locker room. I can feel her hesitate a moment, but she gives in.

Once we both enter the confines of my office, I shut the door. Gabby stands next to the bed looking anywhere but at me. "When you told me that you were pregnant with somebody else's child, I felt like my whole world had been ripped out from under me…"

Gabby quickly cut me off, "I didn't mean…"

"Let me say this first," I tell her as I watch her, she nods her head. "I needed to think, I needed to understand what this meant for us, so instead of staying with you, I walked out and you will never know how much I regret that decision."

"I understand…" Gabby began to say.

"Let me finish," I said again knowing that Gabby needed to hear the next part, "I walked and I walked until I found this bench and I realized that it didn't matter. I love you and this baby is going to be the best part of you. How could I not love it? I ran as fast as I could to tell you this, but by the time I got home you were gone. When I saw all your things were gone too, everything felt like it ended. I love you Gabby," I tell her as I move closer to her, but her facial expression causes me to stop only inches from her.

"I know you love me, but this isn't about just you and me, it's about a new life coming into this world. I need to know are you sure that this is what you want."

"I want a family with you, it doesn't matter how it came about. The only thing that matters is that we are going to provide this baby with so much love…" I didn't get to finish because Gabby's lips were on mine. I instantly wrapped my arms around her thin waist and brought her into my body, her arms wrapped around my neck, causing our kiss to deepen.

We both battle for control as I feel Gabby begin to pull me towards the open bed, everything in me tells wants to show her how sorry I am, but I pull back from her seductive lips.

She looks at me puzzled as I step away from her; I turn my back towards her and move to the closed door. Without a word, I turn the lock to make sure that we won't be interrupted and then I move towards the window to close the blinds.

When I turn back around, I see a smirk on Gabby's face, "I still need to change out and I like my privacy," I tell her with a smirk of my own.

"Well it is a good thing I am here to help you change quickly," she replies as I move closer. "And since when do you need privacy?"

"I have never been one to show off what I got," I reply as I take her lips with my own and wrap my arms around her. It had only been for one night that we had been apart, been it had felt like an eternity. In twenty-four hours, I missed her touch, her smell, and her taste. As I laid her on the twin sized bed, I knew no matter what the world threw at the two of us, we would face it together.

Author's note: Hey lovely readers, sorry the updates are slow, but with working a new job, it has taken over my life! I will try to update tomorrow if I can, but I can't I will update Wednesday for sure. I hope that you liked this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it. If you have a quick second, please let me know what you think.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Gabby POV

I stand at the window looking out at the dark empty street, unable to sleep. I lean my head against the wooden frame as I cross my arms lost in my many thoughts. Matt and I had spent the last couple of days talking about what this all meant and how we were going to face it together. No matter how many scenarios I threw at him, he never waivered, he continued to reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere. I saw the promise and honesty in his blue eyes and I knew that I could trust him; I have always known that I could trust Matthew Casey.

But it wasn't Matt that was keeping me awake; it was the other conversation I needed to have. A shiver ran up my spine as I thought about how I was going to tell Evan about the baby. This was an uncomfortable situation for all of us, but it had to be done.

"Gabby," Matt's groggy voice drifted into the room, I turn around to see him rub his eyes as he came closer to me. "Why are you up?" he asks as he places a light kiss on my forehead and places his strong hands on my shoulders.

"I couldn't sleep," I tell him closing my eyes as he begins to rub my arms. I can feel him looking at me and I open my eyes to see his blue orbs begin to search into mine.

"Talk to me, let me get inside that pretty head," he says with out an ounce of humor in his voice.

I know that he just wants to help, "I'm going to call Evan tomorrow," I reply knowing that this make him uncomfortable.

"Are you going to tell him over the phone?"

"No, I was hoping we could meet for coffee somewhere. I want to try and keep this as pleasant as possible."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

I shake my head no before I speak. "I think that this is something I need to do on my own," I reply knowing that he would completely understand.

"If you change your mind, my offer still stands."

I wrap my arms around his waist and pull our bodies closer together. I rest the side of my face into his warm strong chest, "I know," I say as I breathe in his scent, "And I love you for that."

We stand there in one another's embrace for a little while longer. I don't want this moment to pass us; it is the first time in a long time that I have felt like everything is going to be okay.

"Come on," Matt says as he takes my Matt and begins to lead me back towards the bedroom. "All this stress is not good for the baby."

My heart skips a beat at the fact that he mentioned the growing life inside of me. I don't say anything as he guides me to our bed, I take a seat on the soft but firm mattress and he does the same from the other side. I watch as he lies down and pulls me towards him, I don't protest knowing this is what I needed the most. Once I am secured in his protective hold, he slings his arm over my hip and begins to rub my stomach. With each slow movement of his hand, I can feel myself completely relax. My thoughts begin to drift away as my eyes grow heavy and sleep finally takes me over.

Matt POV

I listen as to her breathe as she lays so still next to me, I know that she is worried about everything. I can see it when I look at her face, I can hear it when she speaks, and I can feel it when I touch her tense body. Just like always, Gabby is holding it all in and it worries me to know that this is a heavy weight she is carrying. I move my attention from the ceiling to her sleeping forum; it still amazes me that she is here with me. After everything I have done, I don't deserve her.

I place my hand over her slightly bloated belly, "Hey little one," I whisper not wanting to wake Gabby. "It's Matt, when you get older you can call me Matt or whatever you like," I begin to stumble over my words, not knowing how this child would view me. "I just wanted to say that we really do love you and I can't wait to meet you." I fall a sleep with my hand still over the swell of Gabby's stomach.

Gabby POV

My hand shakes as I reach for the phone; _I have to do this_ I remind myself as I search through my list of contacts. My eyes scan over the letter E until I find his name. I take in a deep breath as I press call. My heart begins to speed up its beating pace as I hear the first ring. I know there is a huge chance that he won't pick up my call once he sees it's me and I can't say I really blame him. The phone rings for a second time, I begin to think of what I'm going to say in the voicemail I leave him, but before I can even think of what I'm going to say, his voice fills my ears.

"Hello," he says with a very monotone voice.

I want to hang up the phone, but I don't. "Hi," I say quietly.

"What do you want Gabby?" he asked with no hint of any emotion in his voice.

"I," began to say but I stumble over my words, "I was wondering if you wanted to meet for coffee or something," I say lamely.

"No, I don't think that is a good idea," he said immediately.

"I understand why you wouldn't want to see me and I can't say I blame you, but I need to talk to you about something."

I hear him intake some air before he answers, "Why can't you tell me over the phone?"

"Because I can't, I need to talk to you face to face."

"Where do you want to meet?" he asks. I can tell he doesn't want to see me.

"How about the Starbucks on Damon and Asher," I say knowing that it is neutral ground for the both of us. He agrees and tells me that he will see me at noon. I glance over at the clock, knowing that it will be in just a few hours, but I'm willing to meet him at the time. He doesn't say goodbye when the conversation ends, he simply replies with okay and then he hung up.

"How did it go?" Matt asked standing from the doorway of the bathroom, his skin damp from his morning shower.

"I'm going to meet him at noon today," I reply turning to face him.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I can wait in the truck?" he asks moving closer to me.

"No, I have got to do this by myself," I tell him as I set my phone on the wooden table top. "I'm going to get in the shower," I say as I walk past him and into the bathroom.

It doesn't take long for me to get ready, as I moved around the apartment to collect my things; I could feel Matt's eyes on me. I know he was waiting for me to fully react to his situation, but I did my best to hold my ground. I couldn't get emotional right now; I needed to focus on how I was going to move forward after telling Evan about our unborn child. To be honest, I wanted Matt with me but I knew that no matter what happened today, I needed the most when I got home.

I drove to the Starbucks and parked my car on the street. Once inside the coffee shop, I ordered a tall black cup of coffee and waited at the far table for Evan. I wasn't seating there long when he walked through the door, his eyes searched over the people sitting drinking their coffees until his eyes found mine. I gave him a small smile; he nodded over at me as he moved in my direction. I could already feel the awkward mood begin to take flight as he sat across from me.

He began to fidget with his hands as it took a moment for one of us to speak, "How are you?" I ask.

"I'm doing fine," he replied.

"Great," I say with a nervous smile and a nod of my head.

"How are you?"

"I'm happy," I reply honestly.

"That is all I have ever wanted for you," he says looking me in the eye.

"Thanks, that means a lot,"

"So, I don't think you asked me here for small talk," he pointed out. "What is going on?"

"You're right; I didn't ask you here for small talk. I asked you here because I have news I need to share with you."

I wait for him to say anything, but he just motions me to continue with a gesture of his hand.

"This is really hard to say," I tell him as I feel the knots in my stomach begin to tighten. "I recently found out that I'm pregnant," I rush out.

By the expression on Matt's face, I can tell that he is surprised by my news. "Wow, that is wonderful news Gabby, it really is, but I don't see how this has anything to do with me?"

"Actually it does," I tell him. "I'm pregnant with your child."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Gabby POV

The words lingered between the two of us for sometime, I watch as Evan's facial expressions change as he is digesting the news.

"How do you know it is mine?" he asked looking away from me.

"I'm too far along for it to be Matt's," I reply honestly.

"Have you gone to the doctor yet?" he asked now meeting my eyes.

"I have an appointment later today."

"So there is a chance this could be a false pregnancy sort of thing?"

"There is a chance," I reply with a short tone in my voice.

"What time is the appointment?"

"It's at four, but you don't have to come," I say with a wave of my hand.

"If you are actually pregnant and it is mine, I'm going to be there."

"Evan I didn't tell you this because I want something from you, I'm okay with raising this child on my own. If this something that you don't want, I understand, this situation is extremely difficult."

"Gabby, I just told you I'm going to be there and I didn't mean just for the appointment. So let me say this again, if you are pregnant and the child is mine, I'm going to be apart of that baby's life as its father and no one else will fill that role, not even the great Matthew Casey."

"That is not what I meant," I tell him with a narrow of my eyes. I just didn't want him to feel like he had to be a father if he didn't want to be.

"But it was what you were hoping for," he replied.

I don't say anything knowing that right now is not the time or the place, emotions are too high and he is still reeling from the fact that he is going to be a father. I turn around in my chair and grab my purse; I begin to dig for the item I'm looking for. Once I locate the white piece of paper, I set it on the table and slide it over to him. "Here is the Dr. Peters' business card; it has the address of her office on there."

He doesn't say anything as he picks the card up from the table, I watch as his eyes move from left to right as he reads the information. "I'll be there fifteen minutes before the appointment with Matt. If you come, I'll see you there." I say as I grab my things and leave the table.

The drive home was short and I was relieved to see Matt's truck parked on the street. I quickly climb the steps to the apartment and unlock the door, when I came into the living room, I found Matt sitting on the couch watching TV. His eyes immediately looking over at me and I rush towards him. He moves to his feet at lightening pace and then wraps me in his arms. He kisses the top of head before speaking.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I tell him. "I just need you," I tell him.

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," I say as I step back so I can see his face. "I am completely in love with Matthew Casey."

A smile graces his face at my confession, "That is a very good thing, because I am completely in love with you Gabriela Dawson."

Matt POV

When I see Gabby walk through the door and the look on her face, my heart begins to race at all the possibilities of what could be wrong. She moves at me and I can tell she needs me; I stand up and feel our bodies collide as I wrap my arms around her. I can feel in the tension her begin to fade as she begins to relax.

"Are you okay?" I ask knowing that right now I need reassurance.

"Yeah, I just need you," he states in a simply.

It dawns on me that we both need the same thing, "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," I tell her.

"I know," she says pulling away from me a little, her eyes look up at mine. "I am completely in love with you Matthew Casey."

I smile as her words sink in and I know exactly what she means, because I feel the same way about her. "That is a very good thing, because I am completely in love with you Gabriela Dawson."

I don't want to push her about how things went with Evan, but I can tell something is weighting on her and I hate seeing her like this. I know she can sense my hesitation on the topic.

"Evan says that he is going to be at the appointment today," Gabby says as she stays in my arms.

I nod my head, "I wouldn't expect him to be anywhere else," I reply honestly. Gabby nods her head at my words, but I tell there is something more. "What else happened?" I asked hoping that she would tell me.

Gabby took in a deep breath, "It just made me realize that it's not going to be me and you picking out baby names together or just you and I in the delivery room sharing those moments and I want it so bad to be you and I'm sorry that isn't."

"Me too," I tell her. "I'm sorry that this isn't what we had pictured, but it doesn't change the fact that this baby is going to have three amazing parents that will love it and that is all that matters. As far as the other things so, it just technicalities and we will get through it."

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" Gabby asked with a smirk.

"It helps that you're so very sexy," I tell her as I take her control of her lips. Her arms wrap around my neck deepening the kiss. Our bodies are pressed together as I begin to walk us towards the bedroom.

"We can't," Gabby mumbled breaking our desire.

I looked at her puzzled and then realized that we would need to be leaving soon for the doctor's office. "We are picking this back up tonight," I said leaning my forehead against her's.

"Definitely," she replied placing a light kiss on my lips.

Gabby POV

We arrived twenty minutes early for the doctor's appointment. Matt and I sat next to each other waiting for the nurse to call my name and for Evan to walk through the door. I knew this wasn't going to be easy for either one of them to be here, but they were both doing what they thought was right. Matt squeezed my hand, drawing my attention to him.

"Relax," he whispered to me.

"I'm working on it," I reply with a smile, but before I could say another word the door opened and Evan walked through. I feel the awkwardness fill the air; it was so thick a knife could cut right through it.

"Hi," he greeted us as he took a seat across from us.

"It's good to see you again," Matt said to him.

Evan let out an annoyed sigh, "I guess you could say that, but really this is not ideal situation."

"No it is not," Matt agreed.

The wooden door opened and a small red headed nurse stepped out into the waiting room, "Gabriela Dawson," she called out. I immediately stood up as did Matt and Evan; the nurse looked confused as her eyes went from Matt to Evan. I didn't know how to explain this less then ideal situation, as Evan called it, but I could tell the nurse had no clue as to what is going on.

"They are with me," I reply moving closer to her.

She didn't say anything, but nodded her head. "Follow me," she instructed as we all walked through the door. She took us down a small hallway and stopped in front of an open room, "you two can wait in here as I take Gabby's weight and ask her a few questions." Matt and Evan both entered the room as I continued to follow the nurse into another room.

"I need to get your weight," she said as she led me to the scale. I stepped on it and she began to move the weights to adjust the reading. "I think it is so great what you're doing," she said as she jotted down the information.

"Doing what?" I asked with confusion.

"Having a baby for a gay couple, you're giving them the greatest gift," she said looking up from the paper work with a smile on her face.

It then dawned on me that she was referring to Matt and Evan, I began to chuckle at her lack insight to my baby daddy drama. "Actually," I begin to state with doing my best to hold back my remaining laughter, "The blonde guy is my boyfriend and the other guy is the baby's father."

"Oh," her smile faded away and her face became a bright red color, "I'm sorry I just assumed."

"No, it's fine. It is a very difficult situation for all of us."

The nurse asked me a few questions after she drew my blood, it didn't take long until I was back in the room with Matt and Evan. All there of were quietly waiting for the blood work to come back. After a few minutes of waiting, the Dr. Peters came back with the results. I didn't know how to read her face, she didn't give much away as she took her seat on the stool.

"Gabby you are pregnant."

Author's note: Hey guys! I hope everyone is planning to have a weekend and that you enjoy it! I really wanted to have this story completed in the month of August, but it has been taking a lot longer to update then I would like. I am hoping in the next two weeks to have story done, that way I can work on the next. So with that being said, I want to say thank you to everyone that is reading/reviewing this story and let you all know that you are wonderful! I also want to apologize for how long it has been taking me to update, I have recently started a new job is that is taking up a lot of time and it will be like that for a while. I will update when I can, but it will just take me longer.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

Gabby POV

The warm liquid fills my mouth as I stand at sink looking down at the first picture of my baby. I feel so confused as continue to look at the black and white image in front of me, one minute I'm excited for this new life, but then a feeling of guilt and panic run through me in the same moment. I take another drink, just trying to only think of the good things in my life.

As if on cue, I feel a pair of arms in circle my waist and draw me back into his warm body. I close my eyes relaxing into him, he rests his chin on my shoulder and I can feel him exhale air. "How are you feeling?" he asks and then one of his hands releases from me and picks up the picture.

"Just thinking," I reply knowing that wasn't an answer to his question. He doesn't answer and I know that he waiting for me to continue. I take a deep breath, "I know that I should be excited having this baby and I am, but I also feel like this a problem that will never be solved and because of that I feel guilty for thinking about this baby as a problem."

Matt holds up the sonogram a little higher so that we are almost eye level, "this is here is something to be excited about, I am. When I look at this and I see your growing belly, I don't see a problem, I see another person I get to love and that is pretty amazing."

I turn around to face him with tears burning in my eyes due to his words, I need to know that this is real and I'm not dreaming, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips to mine. At first our kiss is one of tender and care, but I need more from him in this moment and I deepen the kiss by parting my lips, giving his tongue access. A moan escapes the back of my throat as he lifts me up to counter and his hands find the hem of my shirt. His fingers begin to caress my skin as his hands move further up my shirt and his lips begin to travel down my jaw line to my neck. I tilt my head to the other side as I slid my fingers through his hair.

"Matt," I manage to say his name in a low voice, knowing that I don't want him to stop, but we both have to get ready for work. I hear him chuckle as he places another kiss on my collarbone. "We have to get ready for shift."

"I know," he replies running his hands back down my waist and away from my hot skin and then takes a small step back, "But I think that everyone would understand after we tell them about the baby."

"You want to tell them about the baby?" I ask almost frozen in my spot in with my eyes wide.

"You don't want to?" Matt asked with a tilt of his head.

"No," I say jumping down from the counter. "I'm not ready to tell everyone."

"Gabby they are going to know soon enough."

"They are not going to know today," I tell him crossing my arms over my chest.

"Babe, they are our…" he begins to say but I quickly cut him off.

"I don't want the looks of judgment once they find out," I shout dropping my arms to my sides. "I can't stand to see the looks of disappointment once they realize that I am a whore," I say as I walk past Matt and go straight into the bathroom.

I shut the door behind me and locked it, I lean my back against the sink. There it was the real reason, I was feeling the way I was. Not only did I think of my baby as a problem, but I also had to face the fact that was how people would view me now. I wiped away the silent tears that ran down my face.

Matt POV

I was stunned in place from anger as Gabby's words rang through me, I couldn't believe that she would think about herself like that. I began to walk towards the closed bathroom door; I knew that she was in there. "Gabby," I call out to her through the closed door, I wait a moment, but she doesn't respond. "Gabby, I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you. We can tell everyone when you are ready." A moment later, I hear the door unlock and watch as it slowly opens, Gabby's eyes are red and her skin is flushed.

"We should get to work," she says as she starts to walk past me.

I lightly place my hand on her forearm and she stops in place, her eyes moving to mine. "I love you and I never want to hear you call yourself a whore again."

"But that is what people are going to think."

"I don't give a shit about what people think. We both know it is not true and we can't ever lose sight of that," I know that both need to hear these words. We knew that this was going to be hard, but if it meant that we would be together then it was all that mattered.

She nodded her head, "I won't lose sight," she said. I released my hand from her arm, but we both stood there staring at one another. In moments like these, I wish I could read her mind. We were drawn out of our eye contact when Gabby's cell phone went off.

I watched as she moved over to the table and answered the call. A smile came to her face as she listened to the other person on the line. I didn't have to ask to know that it was Shay. I took one more glance at Gabby and then I walked into the bathroom to get ready for shift.

As I brush my teeth, I realize that I need to show Gabby how I truly feel about her and this baby. I rinse my toothbrush as an idea pops into my head.

Author's Note: I hope that you liked this chapter, I know this chapter was all over the place when it came to emotions, but so are Gabby's and Matt's emotions. I hope everyone had a great weekend and are as excited as I am for the month of September (really just the 23rd!). Anyways, I really want to say thank you to everyone that has reviewed/read this story, your kind words are wonderful and keep me writing. I also wanted to say I am loving the updates to everyone's story on here, keep it up!


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

Matt POV

It has been almost two weeks since Gabby and I spoke about announcing the baby to our family at 51. I didn't want to push her on the topic, knowing that when she was ready she would bring it up. Instead of talking about the elephant in the room, our focus has been unpacking the many boxes that were brought over from her place. I tie up my boots and then move back into the bedroom to kiss her goodbye, as I enter the room her sleeping forum is still in the spot as it was when I got up this morning. I really didn't want to wake her, but I knew that if I didn't she wouldn't be pleased with me when I got home.

I make my way to her side of the bed and lean down to place a light kiss on her cheek. I watch as her eyes begin to flutter and she begins to stir. "Hey," I greet her with a smile as I tuck a piece of hair out of her face.

"Hey," She answers back with sleep still in her voice and confusion fills her features. "What are you doing up so early?"

I laugh at her expression as I move to take a seat on the edge of the bed, "I have another construction job," I tell her as I watch her eyes roll.

"If I didn't know any better Matthew Casey, I would think that you are taking these construction jobs to avoid me," she smirks as she begins to sit up in the bed and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Trust me there is no avoiding you," I tell her looking her up and down.

"Well in that case," she teases as she pulls me into her and our lips meet. My hands immediately go to her waist and begin to play with the hem of her shirt. Without much thought I feel Gabby pull my body down on top of her's, her hands begin to make their way down my back, causing my body temperature to rise. My hands find Gabby's warm flesh and I continue to move them northward, but before I can reach my intended area my phone rings from my pocket.

"Shit," I mumble out of breath as I pull back from Gabby. I watch annoyance cover her face as I dig into my pocket and pull out my phone.

"Who is calling?" she asks out of breath.

"Severide," I reply quickly before answering the phone. "Hello," I greet him still trying to get myself under control.

"Are we still meeting today?" he asks.

"Um yeah, I'll be there soon," I tell him looking over at Gabby who eyes grew with confusion for the second time this morning.

We quickly say our goodbyes; I can feel Gabby watching me as I place my phone back in my pocket.

"Why is Kelly going with you on this construction job?"

"It is kind of a big job and I needed an extra pair of hands," I tell her as I stand up from our bed. "So I better get going or he is going to beat me there."

"What time will you be home?"

"Probably around three or four."

"That will work," she replies with a nod of her head and then lays back down.

"What works?" I ask now not understanding.

"I just have to drop my keys off to the landlord, so by the time you get back from your job you will officially have a roommate."

I smile, "just as long as my new roommate sleeps in our bed every night then I like the sound of that."

"I can do that," she smiles.

I feel myself being drawn back to her, but I make myself hold my ground, "Alright babe, I'll see you when I get home. I love you."

"Love you too," she shouts out to me. I quickly grab my jacket and keys and make my way out of the apartment.

Gabby POV

After Matt left the apartment this morning, I fell back a sleep. I woke up almost shocked at the time; I quickly shot up out of bed and made my way into the bathroom to get ready for the day. As I washed my body, I began to compile a list of things I needed to complete today. First thing I have to do is turn in my apartment key, I sigh at the thought of going all the way across town to just drop off a damn key. I jump out of the shower and hurriedly dry myself and get dressed. It doesn't take too long before I'm ready to face the day.

I climb into my car and begin my forty minute drive; my mind keeps drifting to Matt and what he is up to. I could tell by his body language this morning that he wasn't completely honest with me and I knew with all these jobs that he was taking recently was not the real reason he was gone. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I knew that whatever was going on it everyone I knew was probably in on it.

Matt POV

"So when are you going to show Gabby this?" Severide asked me as he finished with the last coat of white paint.

"I was thinking tomorrow after shift," I tell him as I tighten the last screw.

"She is going to love it."

"Yeah, I think so too," I say standing up and looking over our hard work over the last week. "I just want her to have everything she has ever wanted. I know this wasn't how either one of us saw this happening, but now that it has, I don't want her miss out on anything."

"You know it wasn't that long ago I was in the same boat as you. The difference is you are a far greater man than I am. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't get past the fact the baby wasn't mine."

"To be honest it has nothing to do with me. I just realized that my life is better with Gabby in it and everything after that we can figure it out together," I tell him as I run my hand through my hair. I really wasn't one to share my feeling with anyone, but I knew there would be a lot of questions of how I could handle Gabby having Evan's baby once everyone knew. I thought about what I was going to say, I finally came to realize that DNA didn't matter. I was going to love this child and to be honest I already do.

Gabby POV

I begin to walk back to my car after leaving the rental office, as I look around at the shops along the street; my eye catches a sign that reads The Baby's Boutique. I peer into the window to find baby clothes being displayed in all different styles. My hands drop to my stomach as I stop in my tracks. Without realizing what is actually happening, I open the door and make my way inside. I feel uncomfortable as I look around at all the baby stuff that cluttered the store.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked.

I looked over to see a middle aged woman with light brown hair approaching me, a smile spread across her face.

"I'm just looking," I reply not sure of what else to say to this stranger.

"Are you shopping for yourself?" she asked.

"Um yeah," I tell her as I nod my head.

"Boy or girl?"

"I don't know yet," I tell her wishing that she was just walk away so I can get out of here.

"Well if you need anything, just let me know and congratulations."

"Thanks," I say as I watch her walk away.

I take a second longer to look and turn on my heels to walk out the door, but as I turn to leave and go back to the safety of my car. A small grey elephant catches my eye, I reach out to touch its soft material body. I stand there in the middle of the store doing my best to fight back the tears that are burning my eyes. I pick up the stuff animal and bring it to my chest, and for the first time since finding out I was pregnant I let out the breath I had been holding.

Matt POV

"Gabby," I call out as open the door to our apartment and make my way inside.

"Hey," she says as she comes out from the kitchen and leans against the archway between the kitchen and dinning room. I smile as I see her with her hair pulled up into a bun and the smell of food fills my nostrils. I slide my jacket off and rest it over the back of the chair.

"How was the job?" she asks as I move closer to her.

Before replying, I place a kiss on the top of her head, "I finished," I tell her.

"Really?" she asked raising her eyebrow.

"Yes, are you surprised?" I asked matching her expression.

"No," she insisted as she turned back around into the kitchen. I follow her small frame and watch as she moves back to the stove to stir whatever is in the pot.

"What are you making?" I ask peering over trying to see what was in there.

"Chili, it just sounded really good."

"It does," I agree. I then notice two white bags sitting on the small table next to the window. "What is in there?"

"Um just a few things I found today," Gabby sets the spoon down and goes to the table. She clears her thoart before beginning to talk, "I was walking down the street and say this small baby shop. I went inside and found this," she then pulls out a small grey elephant, "I had one just like this when I was kid, so I thought that the baby should have one too."

I couldn't help but smile as I looked at the stuff animal and then back at Gabby. There was a twinkle in her eyes that I had never seen before and an expression on her face that words couldn't describe. "So is there more baby things in there or did they give you all those bags for just that little guy?"

"There is more," Gabby smiled as she begins to pull a couple of more things out to show me.

Author's Note:

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed their Friday and excited for the weekend, this weekend for me has been incredibly long. Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed the update and can Gabby really begin to change.

So, I have been reading a lot of spoilers about season three and all I can say is WOW! There are so many questions and direction these writers can take each character, I don't even know what to think. About a week ago, I would have told you I really thought that it was going to be Shay that dies in the explosion, but now my opinion has changed. I know this might sound really out there, but I don't think the person who dies is a present ff at 51, I think it is Benny (Severide's dad). I think the explosion has something to do with Keeler storyline, may be someone seeking revenge.

Here is why I think it might be Benny, the spoilers said that Severide is going to mostly be affected by this person's death, if it was Shay, Dawson would be as well. Spoilers also indicated that Boden would be affected as well, since him and Benny use to work together and were friends at one point, I could see how that would bother someone. It was also stated that Casey and Severide would become closer since the explosion, now that they both lost their fathers it would give them something else to bond over. I know that this is a shot in the dark, but after seeing all the pictures online it really is the only thing I can wrap my mind around. If it Shay, the writers have done a poor job keeping it secret.

As far as the changes within the house, I think because the loss of life and the injuries the house members face, it is going to change a lot of people.

I know that I am shooting for the moon, but I would rather have it this way then lose any ff or paramedic at 51, because Chicago Fire would not be the same with out anyone of them.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

Gabby POV

"How are things going with Casey?" Shay asked as she drove us back to 51 from our lasted call.

"Things are going as well as can be expected," I tell her moving my attention to the surroundings outside of rig. I didn't know how to explain to her that it was me that was the biggest problem. Casey has been the rock in our relationship and I have been the one on an emotional rollercoaster, although some part of me wonders if he doing this all out of love or what he thinks is the right thing to do.

"Meaning?" she probed looking for more information.

"Nothing," I say turning my attention back to her, "he has been so wonderful." I watch as Shay nods her head in understanding, but I can see that she is still keeping something back. I roll my eyes at my best friend's behavior, "Spit it out," I tell her with annoyance mixed in my voice.

"I was just wondering why you haven't told the guys about the baby."

My eyes immediately go to my hands that are folded in my lap, "Matt wants to tell everyone about the baby, but I am the reason that we haven't told anyone."

"What is going on?" she asked with concern.

"Once everyone finds out that I'm pregnant, their going to automatically think that is Matt's, but once they know the truth, everyone will begin to judge me for what I did to him."

"Gabby you didn't do anything to him. Matt made a choice to stand by you and help raise this child with you. And give the guys a little more credit, they love you and just want to see you happy," She tells me as she turns into the drive way of the station.

I not my head as I let her words sink into my head. I knew that she was right and that sooner or later I was going to have to tell them the reason I could no longer fit into my clothes.

Shay pulled into the garage and put the ambulance into park, "So I was thinking that we could go baby shopping this weekend," Shay stated as she turned to face me.

"I may have already started a little of that," I tell her with a smile.

"Of course you have," she teases as we both climb out of the ambo and make our way inside.

Matt POV

As I am signing the last accident report on my desk, I hear a knock from my door. I look over to see Gabby standing on the other side, I wave her in.

"Hey," she greets me as she move through the door way.

"Hey," I smile back at her, "how was the run?"

"It was routine," she says as she takes a seat on my bed. "How is the paper work coming along?"

"It's done," I tell her as I get up from my seat and stand close to the door. I can feel her brown eyes on me as I lock the door and draw the blinds close. I turn around to face her and I can see a smirk display over her full lips.

"What do you have in mind?" She asks as I move closer to her.

I lean down and place both of hands on either side of her, our lips almost touch, "I think that I missed you and I need to show you just how much," I then take control over her perfect mouth. Her arms wrap around my neck and pull me down as she lies on the mattress. My hands explore the curves of her body as I my fingers make their way down to the waist of her pants. I quickly begin to pull at the tucked in shirt, when Gabby lips stop responding to mine and she jerks her body.

I open my eyes, "Gabby are you okay?" I ask afraid that I had hurt her somehow.

"I think I just felt the baby," she said.

I move off of her and to her right side, "really?"

"I think so," she says again almost waiting for it to happen again to verify if it was real. I then watch as a smile spreads across her face and her hand immediately goes to her belly. "The baby is moving," she tells me this time I see her are eyes are beaming with excitement and joy.

I can't help but smile at the sight that I am witnessing right in front of me. I reach my hand out and place it over Gabby's, I know that I won't be able to feel the baby right now, but I want her to know that I am just as excited as she is and I would give anything to feel what she is feeling right now.

We lay in the bed in my office curled up together, I play with Gabby's hair as she rubs small circle over her stomach. I know that so many thoughts and emotions are running wild in her mind. "Is the baby moving?" I ask.

"Not since you ask five minutes ago," Gabby chuckled.

"I just think it is kind of amazing," I tell her as I kiss the top of her head.

"Me too," Gabby agreed. I then feel her body turn, so that she is lying on her stomach and resting her chin on my chest, "Matt, I know that I have been an emotional basket case lately and I'm sorry. It just seemed like this wasn't real, but now I know that it is and I am excited about everything."

"Me too," I tell her. "I'm glad to hear you say that because I have a surprise for you."

"What kind of surprise?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," I tell her with a smirk of my own.

"I'm not the waiting type," she replies moving up to my lips.

"That won't work," I tell her. "You will just have to wait for the end of shift."

"Give me three minutes and I can get it out of you," she teases as she begins to kiss my neck.

Before I could respond to her tempting offer, the alarms sound off reminding the two of us we are still on duty. We both sigh in frustration as we make our way to our waiting vehicles. I quickly climb into the passenger side of Truck 81, I look over as I watch Gabby move around the front of the ambo, her face now one of determination.

Gabby POV

A yawn escapes me as Matt drives us back home from a crazy busy shift. My eyes are growing heavy with the engine of the truck humming me to sleep.

"Gabby," Matt's voice drifts into my ears, his voice is calm and so smooth, I could just wrap myself up in it and never leave the comfort of it. "Baby," he calls to me again, this time I open my eyes are turn to him without saying a word. "Did you forget about the surprise?"

A smile spreads across my features as our earlier conversation comes to mind, "I may have."

"Well if you're really tried we can forget about it," he says looking between me and the road.

"I'm not that tried," I inform him as he turns onto our street.

I nod my head to demonstrate that I am, I can tell that he still in unsure, so I place my hand on his knee and give him a light squeeze, "I want to see this surprise, no matter what," I tell him.

He sets his hand over mine, "Alright, you win," he replies with a faint smile.

"Don't I always?" I ask with a teasing tone.

"Majority of the time," he then pulls up in front of the apartment and places the truck in park. We both climb out and make our way into our home; Matt takes my hand as we move up the steps to the front door. He unlocks the door without saying a word, I feel a little puzzled by his demeanor, but he just smiles at me. He opens the door and allows for me to go in first.

"Matt, what…" but before I can finish my question I am quickly silenced by the sight in front of me. Tears begin to prick at my eyes as my mouth is wide open. I am at a lost for words as I see two beautiful pieces of baby furniture in front of me. My feet carry me to the dark wood high chair; my hand creases the smooth back, "When did you do this?" I am finally able to ask him but my eyes never leave the creation in front of me.

"Over the last couple of weeks, I wanted you and this baby to have something that was made out of love."

I then move over to the rocking chair that was only a few feet from the high chair, "How did they get here?"

"A certain brother of your's helped me out with that little trick. Do you like them?"

I turn around to face him with the tears still running down my face, "I don't like them, I love them," I walk back over to him and wrap my arms around his neck. "They are absolutely beautiful."

Author's Note:

Hello all you lovely readers, I hope you enjoyed the update and are looking forward to Chicago Fire being here in almost two weeks (I'm SOOOOOO excited!). Please let me know what you think, I hoping to have another update in a couple of days. Thanks for all your wonderful and encouraging words.

Grace


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Matt POV

I watch Gabby from the doorway to our bedroom as she stands in front of the mirror looking at the tightness of her shirt over her rounding stomach, it seems like overnight the baby has made its presences known. I lean against the hard wooden door frame in awe over her beauty and how perfect this moment is, I want to breathe it in and never let it go. I smile when her eyes catch my reflection in the mirror, I can't help it when I see she begins to blush once she realizes she has been caught.

"My clothes are fitting the same," Gabby smiled as her eyes dropped from mine back down to her midsection.

"They aren't suppose to," I say walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her so that my chin rest on her shoulder. "The more you grow, the more the baby grows."

Gabby teasingly rolls her eyes, "I'll keep that in mind when I'm 300 pounds and yelling at you for more ice cream."

"And I'll love you even then," I chuckle at the image she placed in my head.

She turned to face me and wrapped her arms around my waist, "Matt Casey the sweet talker, bet the guys at the station would love to hear this."

"And if they do, I'll deny everything," I smile down at her.

I watched as her carefree face quickly changes into something else before she spoke, "speaking of the guys, I think I'm ready to tell everyone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I have thought about it a lot lately and now that my impending bundle of joy is noticeable, they are going to figure it out."

"Why don't we tell them next shift?" I suggest still holding her in my arms.

"Or we could tell them at Molly's tonight," she grins at me with a sparkle in her dark brown eyes. I could feel my chest tightening up as I watched her, it was the first time since finding out she was pregnant I had seen that look in her eyes.

"Or we could tell them tonight," I agree with a smile of my own and a nod of my head.

Gabby chuckled at my response as she moved out of my grasp and over the dresser; she began to place a new pair of earrings into her ears, "You know, I was thinking that we could start painting the nursery this coming weekend."

"But we don't know the sex of the baby," my smile growing wider.

"So we paint it green or yellow," She shrugs her shoulders.

"And what happens when you find out its a little boy or girl?" I raise an eyebrow at her and cross my arms.

"Then I'll have you repaint it," she teases as if it the most obvious answer, but within seconds of her comment, her expression changes on her face to one of honesty. "I have spent so much time worrying about what other people are going to think and how this could happen to us that I don't want to waste another second and miss out on another moment of this pregnancy."

I move towards her and take her small hand in my own, "I don't care if I have paint that room five times if it means that I get to see this look on her your face, then it is all worth it."

She didn't say anything as she moved closer to me and then leaned up and kiss my lips. "I think we should go to the store to pick out the paint in a little while, but first we need some alone time," she tells me as she guides me towards the bed.

Gabby POV

"I think we did good," I tell Matt as I hold the door open with my right hand and carrying a bag of baby things in my left. I continue to hold the door open for Matt to walk through as he carries the two cans of paint.

"We did," Matt agreed as he set the paint against the wall by the front door. "I really like the onezie you picked out for the baby."

I reach into the store bag and pull out the one he is talking about, it is simple a white shirt with a fire truck on the front, I hold it up for him to view. "I wonder why?" I ask as I role my eyes.

Matt just smiles before he answers, "I just want the kid to start off right."

"Whatever you say," I reply placing the clothing back on the table. "I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick and then we can head to Molly's," I tell Matt.

"Sounds good," he replies.

I hurry in the bathroom and then meet Matt in the living room. We quickly climb into his tan truck and make our way to Molly's. I sit in my seat a little nervous about telling the guys about the baby and I think Matt can tell. He keeps looking over at me; I do my best to push the acid feeling down to the pits of my stomach. Matt pulls the truck up to a parking spot near the entrance of Molly's, we both get out of the cab, Matt waits for me to move around the front of the tuck, he takes my hand and leads us inside.

Once we step into the warm bar, I notice all the guys sitting at their normal table near the back of the bar.

"Dawson and Lieutenant!" Cruz calls out when he notices us making our way to them.

"Hey guys," Matt and I say as we stand next to them. Matt wraps his arm around my lower back as we are greeted. Herrmann walks over the to the table bringing over two long neck and placing them down in front of Matt and I. "This is for you two," he tells us with a nod of his head.

My eyes instantly meet Matt's, who knows what I'm thinking. I clear my throat, "Someone else can have my beer," I say looking around the table, I see confusion on everyone's face at my words, "because I won't be able to drink for a while," I simply reply.

"You're pregnant!" Herrmann shouted pulling me into a hug; I could hear all the guys begin to cheer at the news behind me. I hear them begin to hear them congratulate Matt and I knew this would be the hardest part.

I look over at Matt, who has a smile on his face and thanking the guys for their congratulations.

I take in a deep breath, "I do need to tell you one more thing," I say, Matt takes my hand and nods his head for me to continue. "I wanted to tell you guys before you found out a different way, but I got pregnant before Matt and I got together."

"So the baby isn't yours?" Otis asked looking over at Matt.

"Not biologically, but yes in every other way that counts," he answers right on cue.

I can feel all the eyes on me and no one is sure what to say, I almost feel like I shouldn't have said anything at all, I should have let them think that the baby was Matt's.

"We both love this baby and plan on raising it with so much love and we want all of you to be apart of that," Matt says as he squeezes my hand.

"I'm happy for you guys," Herrmann is the first one to say something, "and I can't wait to meet the new family member of 51."

The rest of the guys all agreed and pulled Matt and I into hugs. Tears began to sting my eyes as I realized that they were all so understanding and genuinely excited for us and our unconventional family.

We stayed at Molly's for a few more hours until sleep really wanted to take me under. Another yawn escaped me, before Matt leaned down and mumbled in my ear that he was ready to go home. I knew this was more for me then him, but I didn't argue, I just simply nodded my head. We said our goodbyes to our friends and then walked out the parked truck.

We climbed in to our normal spots, me in the passenger seat and him behind the wheel. I reach for my seatbelt, but I quickly realize that left my purse inside. I sigh and then turn to Matt, "I left my purse, I'll be right back," I tell him as I open the door and my feet touch the hard sidewalk.

"I can go get it," Matt says.

"No, I'll go get it," I tell him as I shut the door and then cross the street to go back inside the bar. I find my purse tucked behind Cruz, I quickly grab it and then rush back to the truck. I race down the steps of Molly and rush over the curb, I smile at Matt who smiles back as I raise my purse in my hand to show him that I was successful in my search. I am a few steps away from the truck, but as I move closer I see two bright lights speeding towards me. Before I can react or move, I feel instant pain as my feet leave the ground and everything goes black.

Author's Note

Hey there lovely readers, I hope that you enjoyed the update and I wanted to let you know that I plan on updating this story throughout the weekend. So please be on the look out for it! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and kind words. We are a little more than a week out from season 3, I can not wait!


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty One

Matt POV

I see Gabby rush down the steps of Molly; she smiles at me and raises her purse up, so that I can see she found it. She begins to cross the street, moving closer to me. I can't wait to her home and just to lay down with her in my arms, as I watch her I notice a light is showcasing her body and it is getting brighter. I turn around and see a car racing a head; I turn back to Gabby who is still making her way across the street. I go to scream her name, but before I can even get open my mouth the car collides with her body.

There are no words to describe the feeling of watching someone you love get hurt like that in front of you. The quickly open my door and rush to her side as the car continues to drive off down the road, "Gabby," I call out to her as I fall down next to her. Her eyes are closed as she doesn't respond to my voice. I check for a pulse and to make sure she is breathing, thank god she has one.

"Casey," Severide calls out as he is right at my side along with Shay and the guys from 51.

"I just called 911," Herrmann says as is on the other side of me.

"Gabby, baby," I call to her again hoping that she will open those beautiful brown eyes of her's, but they remain closed. I just want to scoop her up and take her to the hospital myself, but I know that it could cause Gabby more harm. Shay begins to look over Gabby injuries and unbuttons her shirt, there is always swelling in her ribs due to the contusions that were already forming. Blood was running down the side of her face from the cut on her forehead, from where her head hit the ground when she landed.

It seemed like it took hours for the ambulance to get here, I watched as they loaded Gabby up onto the gurney and rushed her inside of the rig. "I'm going with her," I said climbing in after the PIC. I held Gabby's hand, begging her to fight so that she can come back to me. I couldn't lose her especially since how I lost Hallie. I knew that if Gabby was taken from me, there would be no way I could come back from her. She was my rock, my best friend, and my reason to wake up every morning. Without her, I was lost.

I felt the ambulance turn and then come to a complete stop, within moments the back doors flew open and then pulled Gabby out to the waiting doctors. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as the people around me were shouting her stats and her condition; the only thing I could focus on was the fact that Gabby's eyes weren't open. I followed them down the hallway, but I was suddenly stopped by a pair of hands on my chest.

"Sir," I'm sorry but you can't go back there.

"She's my girlfriend," I tell the nurse standing in front of me.

"I understand, but you need to let the doctors do their job and we will let you know any information we can."

I just nod my head; I knew how this waiting thing worked. I didn't need anyone to explain to me, I had become more of expert with each time I found myself in this hospital. I walk into the empty waiting room and take a seat, and without being able to control myself my head drops into my hands and I finally break down.

I don't know how long I sat there alone, but Shay and Severide were the first ones to arrive. I stood up when I saw them come into the room, I could see they were both worried about Gabby, their faces both ghostly white.

"Hey," Shay said giving me a hug, "Have you heard anything?"

"No, the doctors haven't told me anything," I tell her as I look her in the eye.

"Dawson is a tough one, she'll get through this," Severide state as he gave me a quick hug and a pat on the back.

"I called Antonio, he is on his way," Shay said wiping a tear away with the back of her hand.

"Thanks for doing that," I say to her.

"It is the least I could do," Shay tells me.

It doesn't take long for the rest of the guys from 51 to show up, including Boden. We all sat in silence as we waited, everyone I could tell wanted to say something to make the situation better, but nobody knew how.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the call of my name, I look over to see Evan Grant standing in the door way, he visibly looked upset.

"How is Gabby?" he asked as I stood up from my seat.

"I haven't…" but before I could finish my sentence, I see a doctor coming towards the waiting room. My heart stopped in my chest as he moved closer to us, his looking directly at me.

"Family of Gabriela Dawson?" he asked as he looked around the waiting room.

"I'm her boyfriend," I tell him as I step around Evan.

"Ms. Dawson suffered a concussion and internal bleeding, which we were able to repair and get under control. She is in stable condition, but we will be monitoring her for possible ruptures."

"What about the baby?" Evan asked quickly.

The doctor took in a deep breath before speaking, "I'm sorry but there was no way to save the baby, Ms. Dawson suffered a miscarriage due to the extent of her injuries."

I felt like the world had pulled the rug out from underneath me as we stood there. Not was Gabby still hanging on, but now the baby she loved had been taken away from her. I couldn't stand here and do nothing, before I could understand what I was doing; my feet carried me down the hall. I needed to see her; I needed to be there when she opened her eyes.

Author's Note:

Hello to all of you! It made me really sad to write this chapter because they were both bonding over the baby. The next few chapters are going to be hard, but they will be worth it. Thank you for all the reviews and for reading my story.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Matt POV

_How am I going to tell her_? I ask myself a thousand times as I sit in the chair next to her bed. It had been four hours, sixteen minutes, since the doctor told us that the baby we thought we had a lifetime to love was no longer there. My thoughts kept drifting to that sparkle in Gabby's eyes I had seen earlier today when she spoke about painting the nursery. My heart tightened at seeing the sparkle die, when she found out the truth, tears begin to brim my eyes.

"Matt," I hear my name so faintly that I almost thought it wasn't real. I move my stare from the floor to Gabby's brown which are looking directly into mine. I immediately stand to my feet and take her hand in my own.

"Hey beautiful," I smile down to her as I lean over and place a kiss bittersweet on her forehead.

"What happened?" she asked with a groggy and dry voice.

"You don't remember?" I ask with concern.

"I remember we were at Molly's and we left earlier, but then I had to go back inside because I forgot my purse…" Gabby paused as the realization of what happened crossed her features. Her brown eyes began to fill with tears as she remained in silence, I could tell that she was replaying the car hitting her in her mind.

"The doctor said you had some internal bleeding and had suffered a concussion," I tell her knowing what would be her next question, but I couldn't bring myself to come out and just say it.

"What about the baby?" she asks once she realized that I didn't mention it.

"Gabby," I begin to say as my voice catches in the back of my throat. "Because of the extend of your injuries, there was nothing the doctor's could do to save the baby. I'm so sorry," I tell her as I watch her eyes grow wide and a look of great sadness displays over her.

"No," she states as she shakes her head. "No, that can't be right," she begins to cry.

I quickly wrap her in my arms as she begins to sob in a heap of tears. I try to fight back my own tears as I hold her, knowing that right now I need to be strong for her, but seeing her like this breaks me. I know her sense of loss and how much she loved this baby, because I did too.

Gabby POV

"Come here," I shout out at the laughing toddler running away from me. I smile as I chase him to a line of trees. I do my best to keep up with him, but as I run faster so does he. I can no longer see him; I can no longer hear his laughter. I try to call out of him, but my voice no longer works, panic fills my body as I search for the dark haired little boy, but he is gone.

My eyes open as I try to get my bearings of where I am, I hear a loud beeping sound, but I still can't register where I am. I reach out for Matt but my hand only comes into contact with hard plastic, "Matt," I call out with a horse voice.

His blue eyes meet mine and I watch as he moves closer to me, I can see that he struggling but yet relieved at the same time when he sees me. His hand takes mine as she leans down to me, "Hey beautiful," he says to me before he kisses my forehead.

I try to remember why I am here, but only some pictures circulate in my mind. "What happened?" I ask trying to piece it all together.

"You don't remember?" Matt questions with almost a sense of panic in his voice.

I don't want to worry him, so I begin to tell him what I do remember, "I remember we were at Molly's and we left earlier, but then I had to go back inside because I forgot my purse…" as my memories come back of finding my purse, so does walking to Matt's truck. My voice stops working as I watch my memories like a movie. I could feel tears begin to drop down my face as I watching the scene play out.

Matt's voice brings me back to the hospital room as he tells me more information, "The doctor said you had some internal bleeding and had suffered a concussion," I could tell there was more from the tone of his voice. It then hit me; he never said anything about the baby.

"What about the baby?" I ask trying to hold back the panic in my voice. I needed to know if he or she was okay, I needed to know now.

"Gabby," Matt begins to say, I hear his voice begin to crack and I already know what he is going to say, but I need the actual words. "Because of the extend of your injuries, there was nothing the doctor's could do to save the baby. I'm so sorry," he says as my world has come to end. Everything in the world just stops and deep pit of pain and sadness has taken me in.

"No," is all I can say as if it I tell reality no that it will somehow change. "No, that can't be right," I cry in a sob. I feel Matt pull my body into his and there was nothing I could do to hide my brokenness. I felt completely empty for the first time in my life.

Author's Note: I know that this chapter is a little shorter then my normal ones, but I really thought there was a lot of stuff going on here, so I wanted to keep it focus on this moment. We will get to see how Gabby and Matt handle the loss together and in their separate ways in the next few chapters. Please let me know what you think and I want to say thank you to all you wonderful readers!


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty three

Matt POV

Gabby stayed at the hospital for three more days after finding out that the baby was no more. As time moved slowly past us, she grew quieter and more introverted. She wouldn't speak as tears fell from her beautiful face. I didn't know what to say to her, so I just held her in my arms, even when her body didn't respond to my touch.

The drive home from the hospital was silent, I kept stealing glances of Gabby, but her eyes' seemed so distant as she look straight a head or out her window. I want to tell her that everything will right again in this world and we will move on from this together, but I know that some of that is a lie. This loss will never be something we get over and it will never be right. I take in a deep breath as the truck begins to come to a slow stop in front of the apartment.

"We're home," I tell her as I put the truck into park and take the keys from the ignition. Gabby just nods her head as she opens her door and climbs out of her seat. I sigh as I follow her actions and move around the truck. She has already began to slowly make her way up the stairs, I slightly jog to catch up with her knowing that she is still sore from the accident. I wrap my arms around her lower back to give her as much support as she needs.

I unlock the front door when we get to the porch; I hold the door for her as she mumbles a small thank you to me. I tell her she is welcome as I follow her into the warm apartment, the same apartment that held so much joy and promise a few days ago. Now it only offered the memory of what once was. I cringe as I watch Gabby looking around the room; his expression read so much pain and a sense of loss.

"Are you hungry? I could make you some soup or anything else you want," I tell her as she folds her arms over her chest.

Gabby shakes her head no, "No, I'm not hungry," She replies with the same small voice I heard just a second ago. "I'm going to go lay down," Gabby said looking down at the floor then back at me.

"That is a great idea," I tell her as I watch her move from her spot and into our bedroom. I walk towards the opening and lean against the hard wall as I watch her climb in under the covers, her back is to me. I have never seen Gabby like this, from the moment she found out that the baby was gone; the best part of her seemed to have disappeared. I knew that it was going to take some time and healing for both of, but we could overcome this, we could overcome anything.

Gabby POV

I have to remind myself to keep breathing, but a small voice from the back of mind keeps asking why. To be honest I don't know how to answer that question or why I should keep breathing. The unbearable pain that has radiated from the deepest part of my heart throughout my entire body has now been replaced by a feeling of numbness. I lay in my bed with the covers placed over my body, not because I'm cold, but due to the fact that I don't know what else to do.

I think of when I first found out that I was pregnant and how panicked I was when I thought about becoming a mother. I almost thought that my world had an ended, but as time went on my way of thinking changed and I began to see myself holding my baby, I thought about the midnight feedings, the first word he or she would say. I thought about pre-school graduation, prom, and everything in between. But now all those dreams were gone and the only thing that was left was this empty feeling that now consumed me to my core.

I have lost all track of time since moving into the dark bedroom, but the sound of hushed voices fills my ears. The closed door squeaks open and a beam of light slices the dark like a swift knife. My back is still to my intruder, they don't speak and the door is closed just as slow as it was opened.

Matt POV

I was thankful to see Shay standing at the front door; I knew that she was worried about Gabby too. Before I could tell her how Gabby was doing, she instantly pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," She simply said and then stepped back, "I know that you cared about this baby too."

"Yeah, thanks," I say trying not to focus on my feelings. I knew that right now Gabby needed me and there was no way that I could break down in front of her. "Come on in," I tell Shay. She walks past me as I hold the door open for her.

"Where is Dawson?" she asks looking around the apartment.

"She is uh, lying down," I tell her knowing that she could see right through my half lie. She looks at the closed door and without speaking; she slightly opens the door to check on Gabby. I think that she just needed to make sure that she was real. Shay then shut the door and turned to me.

She nods her head as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket, "How is she doing?"

"She is…" I take in a deep breath, because I knew that I couldn't say she fine and really expect someone to believe me, "…she is not doing good. I don't know what to do, she barley eats or sleeps. I can't reach her Shay and for the first time since I have known Gabby, I don't know if she is ever going to be okay."

"She will, it will just take time. She just needs to know that we are here for her when she is ready." Shay then moved towards me and placed her hand on my arm, "Gabby never told me what happened when she found you here that day she came here after Hallie's death. But I know that whatever was said began the healing process for you. You will find the right words to say to Gabby and when you do it will begin to take that hurt away."

"Thanks," I tell Shay as I place my hand over her's, "you are truly a great friend."

Gabby POV

My feet touch the hard cold floor as I sit on the edge of the cold bed. I walk slowly towards the door and open it. I am instantly greeted by light and the sound of the television. I step out and look around to find the living room empty. I then hear movement coming from the kitchen, before I can even think about what I'm doing my feet carrying me into the other room.

"Hey you're up," Matt says when he sees me in the doorway. "Perfect timing too, because dinner is almost ready," he tells me as he wipes his hands on the dish towel near the sink.

"I'm not hungry," I tell him in a low voice as I cross my arms over my chest.

"Gabby you need to eat something," he says with a soothing tone.

"I'm not hungry," I repeat with annoyance in my voice at the fact that I have to repeat myself.

"Well if you're not hungry, why don't you go take a shower it might make you feel better," he suggest with a slight smile.

"I'm not fucking sick," I say as I raise my voice. "A fucking shower or eating some food is not going to make me feel better!"

"I know," Matt replied with wide eyes to my outburst.

"No, you don't know," I tell him with anger filling me. "You have no idea what it is like to love this human being growing inside of you and it gets taken away with no reason at all."

"Gabby," Matt begins to say as he moves closer to me.

I place my hand up, causing him to stop in his place, "Don't, don't tell me that everything is going to be okay and I will get over this, because we both know that is a lie."

"I know it feels like that right now, but it does, it will get better. You will find away to go on living."

"Our situations are different," I tell him quickly. "You didn't lose a child. You are probably are grateful that this baby died, that way you wouldn't have to look after another man's child."

Matt's expression changed to something I had never seen before and I instantly regretted what I said. His features showed hurt and his lips bobbled up and down trying to figure out what to say to my words. Matt didn't say anything; instead he turned to the stove, turned off the stove, and then walked out. I stood in the kitchen as I heard the sound of the keys slide off the table and then I heard the front door open and slam shut.

Author's Note:

Hey all of you wonderful readers I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I really wanted to have this story done before season three rolled around, but my job keeps getting in the way. Anyways, can I just say that the season premier was so sad! I knew that Shay was going to die, but it still didn't change the emotional toll that episode caused me. I really hope that Gabby can open up to Matt about what happened and she will begin to forgive herself.

I hope that you enjoyed the update and please take a second and let me know what you think. I will let you know that I plan on updating this story again this weekend and most likely will end this story by Sunday. The good news is that I have already begun writing my next story, so that will be up and running soon. Thank you for all the support!


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four

Matt POV

Gabby's words played in my mind over and over again as I drove through the streets of Chicago. I didn't have any direction; I just needed to drive until the pain of her words could subside. I had to keep reminding myself that she didn't mean what she said, that right now she is angry, depressed, and so involved in her emotions that she can't focus on anything else.

However, her words still stung me. I keep going back to the night Gabby told me she was pregnant. I knew that I really hurt her when I walked out, especially since she needed me the most in that moment. But since that, I really wanted this baby. I dreamed of what our life would be like and it always involved the family we were about to create, even if I wasn't the biological father.

I take a deep breath as I put the truck into gear and then my eyes glance over to the time displayed on the radio of my truck. I let out a low sigh as realize that I have been gone for over three hours. I didn't mean to be gone that long, but I needed to be ready for when I came home. I open the door of the truck and get out of the driver seat. I make my way up the sidewalk and unlock the front door. I walk through the threshold and begin to look around for Gabby. I then look over at the closed bedroom door, knowing that she is inside. I place my hand on the cold knob, but I don't turn it, instead I wait a moment. My mind taking me back to all the plans I had begun to make for this child, my heart breaking a little more with every thought. I take my hand off of the door and walks towards the spare bedroom.

My feet carry me over to the wooden rocking chair I had carved for the baby. I feel my knees give out as I take a seat and think about how Gabby was suppose to rocking the baby here. Tears began to run down my face, there was nothing I could do to stop it. For the first time since we lost the baby, I cried.

Gabby POV

My eyes remained glued to the ceiling when I hear the front door open and close. I know that I need to face Matt, but I know that he probably doesn't want to see me and to be honest I don't know if I can handle seeing him right now. I continue to lie still, going back and forth in my mind what I should do. I take in a deep breath as I get on my feet and leave the dark room.

As I open the door and I hear something that causes me to stop in my own tracks. Tears begin to weld up in my eyes as I listen to the sound coming from what would have been the nursery. I follow the sound that is breaking my heart all over again and when I reach the partial closed door, I push it further open to reveal the one thing, I knew could break into a million pieces, Matt was sitting in the rocking chair sobbing.

I instantly go to him and drop to the floor on my knees, "Matt," I whisper his name as I reach up and pull him into me. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him. We both cling to each other crying.

"Matt I'm so sorry for what I said earlier," I tell him as I pull his head away from my shoulder so I can look him in the eyes.

"How could you think that I didn't want this baby?" Matt asked with confusion and hurt traced in his blue eyes. "I had dreams for her and I wanted to teach her about so many things."

"You thought it was a girl?" I asked brokenly with even more tears beginning to fall from my eyes, a strong sense of guilt fills me.

"Yeah," Matt nods his head.

"Tell me about her," I say unsure of what I hoping to hear.

"It doesn't matter Gabby, the baby is gone," He says pulling away from me and standing up. He moves to the other side of the room with his back turned to me.

"Please Matt; I need to know that someone else wanted the same things that I did. I need to know that I am not alone in this, that we both loved this baby," I plead with him knowing that I sound desperate and I was.

Matt turned around to look at me, "Is that really what you thought? That you were alone in your grief?"

"Matt you never talked about the baby and never showed any emotion until tonight."

"I thought that you needed me to be strong," he replies quietly. "I didn't realize that it made you think that I didn't care."

"Most of what I said to you really wasn't about you, I'm the one who felt those things when I first found out I was pregnant and because of that I feel so damn guilty," I tell him almost breaking down due to my own words.

Matt doesn't say anything as he moves across the floor and sits next to me, "She looked just like you, with those big brown browns and that beautiful smile. She also had your drive and determination to doing things her own way. I always pictured the three of us going to the park and playing catch or soccer. Every time I imaged our family, we were happy and together."

As Matt told me about our life together, I smiled and pang of sadness came drifting over me. I realized in that moment we were both grieving for the loss of our dream and the love for our child. It didn't matter that Matt wasn't the biological father, because he was going to be the best dad he could and was going to love her as if she were his own. I also knew that one day we would be able to continue living, but the day wouldn't be today or tomorrow.

Author's Note:

Hello to all of you, I hope that you enjoying this wonderful weekend. I am looking forward to the next episode of Chicago Fire (3 more days!) as are most of you. It makes me sad that the next chapter will be the last for this story, but it will allow me a chance to begin writing new stories. I would also like to say that I love so many stories on this page and hope that if you all find time soon to update your story. Thanks again!


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five

Two Years Later

Gabby POV

"Matt," I call out his name from where I'm standing in the kitchen in hopes that he will hear me.

"I'm coming," I heard his voice as his foot steps moved into the room. "What is it baby?" he asked holding a beer in his right hand and his other held the counter.

"We need to go," I tell him with a slight wince as the sharp pain shoots through my lower abdomen.

Matt posture straighten up as his eyes grow wide, "You mean it is time?"

"Yes," I say as I nod my head.

He quickly sets the beer on the counter and moves over to me, "Alright, the bag is by the door next to our coats," he says as he takes my hand.

I would smile at his expression but the contractions are becoming too much and I let out a painful wince as the sharp pain pushes against me again. Matt lets go of my hand then he grabbed all of our things in a swift motion. I can tell that even though we have taken every precaution and have waited for this moment since finding out that we were having a baby, he was nervous. He held the door open for me and then helps guide me down the steps to the hard pavement.

"You ready for this," Matt asked as we walked towards my parked car.

"As ready as I can be," I reply taking in a deep breath.

I climbed into the passenger seat and quickly buckled myself in, Matt raced around the front knowing that time was urgent. His door opened in lightening speed and within seconds the car was leaving the curb of our apartment. It was weird to think that the next time we came home we would be a family of three. In the realization, it was a bittersweet moment, I was excited to welcome our baby into this world, but part of me ached for the child I had lost two years ago. There is nothing that I wouldn't give to have that child back into our lives, but I know that I can't keep living in what should be, I have to focus on what is. I feel Matt take my hand into his own and give me a gentle squeeze. I instantly look over at his warm glowing face, a smile creeps from the corners of his mouth and his dimples make their welcome appearance. _God, I wish our child has his dimples_, I think as I stare at him.

Matt POV

In the last two years I have endured more heartbreaks and pains then I have in my whole entire life. With Hallie's death and the loss of a child, many might think that would be enough to give up. But in two years, I have also experienced the most intoxicating love, the kind that changes the way you view the world and all the possibilities in life and I have also been given a second chance at becoming a father. I have so much to be thankful for and I am reminded of that every time I glance at my beautiful wife. I take her hand like I have a million times, I just want her to know that I'm thankfully here next to her supporting her throughout this day and all the others that will follow. She doesn't say anything, but I can feel her eyes on me as I drive us closer to the hospital, I can't help but smile when I think of the reason for our destination.

When we arrive at the hospital, another contraction has come on causing Gabby to cry out in pain. I quickly wrap my arms around her back, just encase she is unable to stand. Out of nowhere a wheelchair is placed to side of Gabby by a male nurse, who seems to understand the urgent need for his help. I give him a quick thank you and then help ease Gabby into the seat.

I immediately begin to push Gabby towards the direction the nurse is going. He has lead us past the nurses station, and down a long hallway to a set of elevators. We go up two levels; my mind can't help but wish this machine to move faster as I hear Gabby begin to breathe harder. I lean down and tell Gabby that I love her and everything is going to be fine. She nods her head as she continues to let out another painful breath.

When we finally reach the room, another nurse helps Gabby up onto the bed. The nurse helps Gabby change out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. It doesn't take long for the Gabby's doctor to come into the room and check to see how far Gabby is dilated.

"Well Mom and Dad, your baby is going to be here soon," the doctor stated with a smile.

"How long is soon?" Gabby asked with beads of sweat on her forehead.

"I would say that you could possibly see the bundle of joy in the next couple of hours."

We both thank the doctor knowing that we would be seeing her very soon. "How are you feeling?" I ask leaning down and placing a kiss on her lips.

"You really want me to answer that?"

"I just want to know if you hate me yet," I tease with a slight smile.

"I could never hate you, but if this hurts like everyone says it does then we are done having sex."

"I'm sure I'll change you mind."

"You're really good at that," Gabby smiles as she reaches up and places her hand on the side of my face. Her expression changes to serious, "I want you to know that I love you and I'm so happy that we get to be parents."

I place my hand over her's and then bring the inside of her hand to my lips, I lightly kiss her palm. "I love you too," I tell her.

Gabby POV

"One more Push Gabby," I hear the doctor call out to me. I don't feel like I can keep going, I'm tried and the pain is too much, but I know that the harder I push then faster my baby will be placed in my arms.

"You can do it baby," Matt says as stands next to me holding my hand. "Just one more push."

I take in a deep breath and I push as hard as I can with my eyes closed, I push with all the strength I have inside of me. I push until I hear a loud crying sound from the other side of the table.

"Congratulations mom and dad you have a healthy baby boy," the doctor said as she held up the crying baby for us to view.

Tears and love pour out of me as I stare at my son is awe. I never knew what it really meant to fall in love at first sight, but as soon as I saw him I knew that my heart was completely full. I feel Matt kiss the side of my head, I hear him whisper that he is so proud of me. I smile at his words because I feel the same way about him.

I watch as the doctor calls him over to cut the cord as I wait patiently to hold him. It doesn't take long for the process to happen, the quickly wrap him in a white blanket and I watch as he is carried over to me. The nurse places him in my waiting arms. Once he is in my arms completely I bring him into my chest and hold him like he is the only thing is this world.

"What is his name?" the nurse asks looking between Matt and me.

"Go a head," I say looking up at him.

"His name is Cameron Shay Casey."

As Matt and sat together in that hospital room with our son imaging what our future hold for us, I knew that everything in our life happened so that we could be in this moment. We had to lose it all to be reminded what true joy felt like and to know what true love really means.

THE END

Author's Note:

I would like to say thank you to all of you for reading this story. It really means a lot to me that you have stuck by and continued to read/review the chapters. I hope that you will all read my next story.

Thank you,

Grace

P.S. There are so many of you who have offered encouraging words and have helped me continue writing, I just want to say thank you to all of you!


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